Dear Nursing Students/Orientees: A Love Note from the Preceptor from Hell - page 12

by CheesePotato

33,945 Views | 118 Comments

Warning: The following post is rife with brutal honesty and frustration. Read at your own risk. Memorandum from the desk of Your Friendly Neighborhood Sociopath~~ Dear Nursing Student/Orientee: Allow me to start my... Read More


  1. 4
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    What I don't understand is why is it always someone else's fault when an orientee with no emotional self-control breaks down and cries at work? Why do we always blame whoever it was she was interacting with when she lost control? Why don't we blame the crier for not having the emotional maturity to accept feedback without crying?
    Since when emotional maturity measured solely in tears?

    Regardless, if we are reducing someone to such, whether once, or routinely, then we too must examine how WE are conducting ourselves. It quite possibly could be us who are "losing control" of emotions and lashing out unnecessarily.

    The whole blaming the victim mentality is part of the problem I think. Its never "our" fault...its the other person's.

    Do unto others and all that jazz.
    CherylRNBSN, KatieMI, ~*Stargazer*~, and 1 other like this.
  2. 2
    Quote from melmarie23
    The whole blaming the victim mentality is part of the problem I think. Its never "our" fault...its the other person's.
    Or the lack of accountability of the supposed "victim." It's never "our" fault...it's the other persons.
    GrnTea and anotherone like this.
  3. 0
    Quote from wooh
    Or the lack of accountability of the supposed "victim." It's never "our" fault...it's the other persons.
    you are right, that too is just as problematic.

    However, all this finger pointing isnt going to solve anything. What we can do though is be accountable for our own actions and how we treat others.
  4. 4
    Quote from KatieMI
    Because there's feedback which teaches and motivates and feedback which degrades and humiliates. I think we all here know the difference, as well as the fact that "teacher" who preferably uses the latter form of feedback is probably well below of the "crier"'s level in terms of emotional maturity, stability and professionalism.
    Here we go again -- it cannot possibly be the fault of the person receiving the feedback -- it HAS to be the fault of the person delivering the feedback. Honestly, there are some folks who cry no matter HOW gently you try to voice the feedback. There are some folks who have apparently never received negative feedback before in their lives. I think it might be more valuable to attempt to figure out how to receive criticism and learn from it than to blame whoever delivers it for "making me cry."
    GrnTea, anotherone, Pepper The Cat, and 1 other like this.
  5. 6
    Quote from melmarie23
    Since when emotional maturity measured solely in tears?

    Regardless, if we are reducing someone to such, whether once, or routinely, then we too must examine how WE are conducting ourselves. It quite possibly could be us who are "losing control" of emotions and lashing out unnecessarily.

    The whole blaming the victim mentality is part of the problem I think. Its never "our" fault...its the other person's.

    Do unto others and all that jazz.
    And yet I see folks who never learn how to receive criticism and learn from it -- why bother to self-examine when you can just cry, blame the preceptor and conclude it's never "our fault" for screwing up but it must be the preceptor's for inept feedback?
    GrnTea, anotherone, vlewis515, and 3 others like this.
  6. 1
    I see some honesty, integrity and stubborn caring in the original post, don't get me wrong.

    But the verbiage and point of view reveal an overwhelming dysfunction that doesn't ever seem to have the space or time to be appropriately addressed or corrected - mostly because those on the receiving end of it have hands tied until they "mature" enough in the profession to MIRROR it.

    What is an even sadder state of affairs, is that there are plenty who have no fortitude of character, who will interpret this as a GO signal for excusing wholly inhumane behaviors in the name of "tough love." It takes a very specific kind of person to be able to pull off what is proposed here in a way that causes more good than harm and avoids perpetuating a cycle of misuse of authority - and I'm sorry to say, but those persons are Just. Not. Common.

    And so, I am extremely reticent to applaud (with all due respect) an outpouring like this one that doesn't also address those who would misuse their authority with as much vigor as it addresses those who are clawing their way up from the bottom.
    whitebunny likes this.
  7. 6
    This. Is. Awesome.

    I'm not even a nursing student yet, I'm still working on my prereqs but I am a police and fire dispatcher and the cultures of both jobs are similar. This is how I feel about training new dispatchers.

    I get so tired of reading the "Waaaaah, my preceptors are so mean and they don't give positive feedback!" posts. Well welcome to the real freaking world sweetie. This isn't kindergarten. This is a hospital (or a police channel...in my case), people are in need of help, they could die. We don't have time for your positive affirmations. That is the gravity of the situation that we are in and a lot of students don't seem to realize that...because if they did then they wouldn't be so worried about being people liking them or being nice to them.

    Honestly, if people can't find a way to have enough confidence in themselves to handle that sort of training, then they have no business being in either profession as far as I'm concerned. Get over it.
    GrnTea, Esme12, JBudd, and 3 others like this.
  8. 2
    People who accept criticisms positively only proves that they are sensible...those who are defensive,well,you know how their mind works..very nice write up..
    GrnTea and Esme12 like this.
  9. 1
    I hope I'm lucky enough to get an entire arsenal of preceptors like you..this is exactly how I learn and I feel it should be even MORE so like this because of what is at risk!
    Rensoul likes this.


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