Dear Nursing Students/Orientees: A Love Note from the Preceptor from Hell - page 10
Warning: The following post is rife with brutal honesty and frustration. Read at your own risk. Memorandum from the desk of Your Friendly Neighborhood Sociopath~~ Dear Nursing Student/Orientee: Allow me to start my... Read More
- 2Hey RyanCarolinaBoy,
Squatmunkie brings up some excellent points and has an opinion (just like YOU have an opinion); therefore, there is NO reason for you to "hate on" Squatmunkie! Do you realize that is what YOU are doing, "hating on" squatmunkie?
Thanks to Squatmunkie, CherylRNBSN, and KatieMI for pointing out some of the hostile leanings of this article.
- 0Dec 6, '12 by tinyonernI so understand and appreciate this!! Not just related to preceptorship, but having to work with student nurses. I once had one who I told NOT to touch the pt unless I was with her, but that when I was done with my other pt I would let her give the feeding, suction, etc (had two vent. babies that day). I hear alarms, look up and the student is trying to change the diaper!!! I went over and ask what part of DON'T touch did you not understand?? as I tried to get the baby back from severe resp issue. She left the room crying, reported me to her instructor, who then reported me to my charge nurse. Fortunately, the charge nurse ask me to explain what happened and the student was not allowed to return to the NICU. The student just "knew" that I was wrong about that pt...what so many of the responses miss is that OP wouldn't throw the preceptee under the bus!! She would have her back....that is major. Plus OP has a sense of humor and is willing to take responsibility for herself.
- 1Dec 6, '12 by NursieNurseLPNLooking back on nursing school, the instuctor who everyone loved was not my favorite. Yes i liked her and respected her knowledge, but she was more just trying to get through the day. When i recieved a 100 on a paper i spend days on and another student received a 100 on their paper (some of which was just blank) i kind of lost my respect for her. OTOH, my other instructor, who almost everyone dreaded (i admit to also dreading her before i ever even knew her), is by far the one i respected and whose knowledge i admired. When i received a 100%, (only once) i knew i had earned that grade and she was proud of how far id come. I learned more from her then i realized at the time.
I think its more about having respect for your students, preceptee, instructor, etc at all times. There is no reason to be cruel. But sometimes we learn the best from someone who we respect, not someone we "like". Its a huge responsibility to mentor someone at the beginning of their nursing career. Im not sure i could do much better, but i know ill always treat them with respect. If someone is not getting it, or acting out of line, there are better ways to handle it.
I read this here on all nurses and its something i will never forget: Praise in public, critique in confidence. Or something along those lines! (Sorry to the original poster of that quote if i messed it up)
- 4Dec 6, '12 by whitebunnythis article is (1) bitter, (2) harsh, (3) full of stereotyle, negative energy and hostility.
Although it has some points, but at the end i disagree. If OP wants to say "everything im doing is to make a student a better nurse" then i would like to say "there are others ways to make students better nurses. Definately not your destructive ways."
Management has different styles: (1) authrotative (2) deplomatic (3) in between.
I cannot picture OP being a good manager, a supportive manager to help nurses grow. In fact I dont even picture OP has decent leadership skills. All I see is (1) abrasive (2) over the top (3) power, power, power.
All these "nature selection" "I have eyes and ears" shows me OP should be a businessman----because you talk exactly like my father----bitter, hate---"no pain no gain" "the best fit survives" theories----yes, my dad is old school----and he lives a very unhappy life.
Just a little introduction of myself: young, immigrant, senstive, emotional, cry----I WOULD BE DAED ON DAY 1 IF I HAVE YOU AS MY PERCEPTOR---DEAD DEAD DEAD
in fact i did have a instructor like you during the 2nd year of university. She failed me just like you, she screamed at me, she told other students to pass on negative messages to me, she insults me she humiliates me---im slow, im behind----not because im not harding working, because i have a language barrier. i was always top way back at home, now im bottom in another country, i was only 18. But guess what, i went to DON. She had a different type of personality, patient, sweet, and understandable. DON followed me one day during clinical, she said i was fine. Guess what, i passed. Ever since then i worked extra extra extra hard, cuz i know, there are a lot of bitter people like OP in this world, will eat me alive at any single moment. They want me dead but I have to defend myself!
Lots lots good professors helped me. After graduation, i started at nursing home, i told myself i dont have the advantages like native born people so i will start somewhere else less acute, then work my way up. I started with 28th patients, then 18 patients, then I moved into the biggest hospital of the city and started on subacute medicine, 5-6 patients. 2 months later I moved onto medicine, 4-5 patients. I love my managers, doctors, my peers. They help me I help them. We learn together. We forgive each other. I grow because people love me, forgive me and help me. Im stronger now, but I wont be stronger if you destroyed me.
I always remember the manager told me "i always see you a very young girl with lots potentials." She told NP "With lots support she will be fine." I am happy now and i tell myself i do not want to be a negative depressed person like my father ever. Your post made me think of what happened when i was 18, and yes, your post made me upset.
If everyone think like you in this world, all immigrants are dead. They cannot survive in North America.
Thank god, not everyone is like you, tearing, and breaking people down!
- 0Dec 6, '12 by tinyonernI'm sorry whitebunny, but I think you missed the satire. This may be related to your language issue. I'm guessing that, if you are as good as you think you are, the OP would have seen your potential. To make assumptions that OP is a depressed, negative person like your father is just wrong. I'll make an assumption (which leaves me open to the old adage; making an ass of you and me), you have a chip on your shoulder.
- 0Dec 6, '12 by whitebunnyHi Tinyonern:
Thank you for your reply. I just went out for a quick walk to calm myself down. I read the rest of the thread and saw OP stated that breaking down/rotten students was never her intention. I saw other people's replies were good summaries: (1) not every students work well with OP's style (2) how OP writes make people feel she is full of ego, and certain words are just logically wrong. I have to admit that OP writes 90% as the way my dad talks. I got very defensive. My emotion was a mixture of personal experience. I did take it personally. I guess OP's point was simply "dont gossip about perceptors cuz perceptoring is a hard job too " when she used words "I have ears and eyes".
I never think of myself good. In fact, my low self esteem probably will be my sister for the rest of my life. First several years of immigration were just rough. Low self esteem is just another thing with immigrants, generally speaking. I might present myself tough from outside but my inside was just tears and scars. I have been looking for that piece of serenity since i was 15, and have been practicing throughout work. Still far far away from it.
But thank you for calming me down, pulling me away from going extreme =)