A Mother AND a student????

  1. I will be a first year Nursing student Starting Sept. 3. So how come I have this big lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes? I have a 3 year old and a 17 month old. They've never been in a dayhome in their lives.

    I was committed to being a stay at home mom until the opportunity came up in the small town that I live in to take my nursing program locally. This is a pilot project. So I didn't want to risk missing this opportunity, I upgraded a course I needed and was accepted. Then my husband was also accepted into an MBNA program. I was mad yet happy for him because very few people are accepted into this program and he is very young (27) compared to the others in his class.

    Yet I am so sad. I don't want to leave my kids!!! Maybe I'm just scared. I listened to DR.Laura's radio program (Even though I hate her moral pushing, unaccepting views) and a caller in the same situation as me phoned in. Dr. Laura told her that she was being selfish. She had her chance to go to school but decided to have kids, now she's going to school to fullfill her own selfish needs.

    Yesterday I watched Oprah and Dr. Phyl was on (I do love him!) He said that mothers don't take enough "me" time. That mothers are expected to be mothers and thats it. He said that family and friends have to stop making mothers feel guilty for doing their own thing away from the kids. He said we need to take time for us. I agree, but yet why do I feel like this????
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  2. 38 Comments

  3. by   Mkue
    sarah, it's natural for most to be feeling the way you are right now. unfortunately whether it is work or school, we have to make sacrifices.. however, i'm a firm believer that kids will actually benefit from parents being in school. as far as dr. laura goes.. i don't listen to her anymore...lol.. i didn't agree with everything she said either, that;s not why i stopped listening to her, i just didn't take the time.

    do what you feel is best for you and your family because that's all that matters really !! not what dr. laura thnks. just my .02.. good luck:wink2:
  4. by   amblessing
    Originally posted by Sarahstudent
    a caller in the same situation as me phoned in. Dr. Laura told her that she was being selfish. She had her chance to go to school but decided to have kids, now she's going to school to fullfill her own selfish needs.

    Yesterday I watched Oprah and Dr. Phyl was on (I do love him!) He said that mothers don't take enough "me" time. That mothers are expected to be mothers and thats it. He said that family and friends have to stop making mothers feel guilty for doing their own thing away from the kids. He said we need to take time for us. I agree, but yet why do I feel like this????
    Take Dr. Phyl's advice - RUN from Dr. Laura's as fast as you can
    Not everyone gets the "chance" to go to college right after high school. Your kids will be fine - they will interact with other children and become independent and self-sufficient little people. DO NOT feel guilty for one minute. I have an 11-year old and a 13-year old and daycare was wonderful for them! :kiss
  5. by   Sarahstudent
    Thank you so much. Maybe I've pegged myself as the Martyr. Is it possible to love your kids too much?
  6. by   dianacs
    You know what? I listen to Dr. Laura a lot too, and there is no perfect person in the world except for her. Am I right? I find her entertaining, and agree with some of her views, but she does get a bit carried away. Your kids will be fine. It's not like you aren't going to be active and involved in their lives just because you're in school! And who says you are supposed to know what you want to do with your life by the age of 20? I'm 27 and have an almost-3-year-old. I'm a stay-at-home mom, which has been important to me, but at the same time I'm still discovering new interests, and I have every intention of pursuing them. So no, Dr. Laura, I'm not waiting until my son is 18, I'm going back to school NOW. (Even though it's nights and weekends, I still feel some guilt too, 'cause I'll have to do some studying during the day)

    I'm not so sure that Mommy being available 24/7 is such a good thing all the time. (It's sure taken a lot out of me.) Kids are so adaptable anyway, if you approach from the perspective that daycare will be exciting and fun for them, hopefully they will think so too. And no one ever questions it when the men get to have great careers and educational opportunities. What a double standard. Please don't be so hard on yourself about this! You ARE doing the right thing.
  7. by   GGingerSR
    I start school tomorrow (first semester in the nursing program) and I have a little girl who is 6. I always said when she started school I would go back to school. Well, last year I started pre-requs. and she started Kindergarden. All has worked out fine so far but as you all know things can change anytime. I am expecting my second baby Feb. 16. You can do it and so can I dont let the little things get you down. Your kids will have a better oppertunity to go to college if you and your husband graduate. Good luck to you.
  8. by   Mkue
    originally posted by sarahstudent
    thank you so much. maybe i've pegged myself as the martyr. is it possible to love your kids too much?
    no, you can't love your kids too much, after my 2nd and 3rd sons both c-sections, i went back to work 2 weeks later and i probably cried more at that time because i didn't want to leave them with just anyone !!.. fortunately i had really good care for them and they have turned out fine so far..lol..

    there is "never" a good time to go back to school when you have kids.. i waited many years to go back and now i wish that i had gone back years ago. my mom went back to college when i was in high school, i was so proud of her, she studied all the time, which was fine with me..lol.. she became an excellent teacher, people still come up to me and tell me what an excellent teacher she was (she's retired now).


    good luck sarah and welcome to the bb !!
  9. by   Sarahstudent
    I think so to, but with my hubby going back to school and still working, I hope the kids will be ok.

    Sarah

    ps I am my kids mom....lol....thought it would be funny!
  10. by   marci3335
    It's never easy to leave your kids. I dropped my 7yr old off for his first day of school today. Even though he's in 2nd grade and HE was super excited to go- I hated it and welled up with tears when I drove away!!

    It's funny you posted this b/cause I was just going over my schedule trying to figure out which days my 2yr old will be in pre-school. I was getting pretty sad at the thought of her being away from me and decided to take a break and come surf the net a bit.

    There is no blanket "right way" to be a good Mom and do the right thing for your family--- because each family and family situation is different. What may be the right thing for my family and our specific circumstances may not be the right thing for my neighbor.

    I'm 36. Trust me, I had many opportunities to go to college but opted for other ventures instead. I spent 4 years in the military and then lived in Hollywood and S.F. writing music and singing in a band. I think that those experiences make me a really good Mom today. I have sowed my wild oats and love were I am today. And going to college is setting a pretty good example for my kids. My son is so proud of me and can't wait until he can go to college someday too!

    You are going to feel a little sad at first but don't let that stop you. Give it a semester and you'll see that it'll all work out...

    Good luck!
    Marci (Wow- I'm very long winded today!)
  11. by   Sarahstudent
    You guys are great, and it is so great to have this forum, lets re-name it therapy. What worries me the most is the child care. I have a good friend watching my kids and I do trust her. It is hard trusting people with your kids after all the horror stories. I guess it will give them a change of pace and 17 months is not the best age to put kids in dayhomes but It's close. I really am happy though at the thought of giving my kids a mother with a University education. And maybe that is enough to justify going to school.
  12. by   Sarahstudent
    Marci,

    I looks like your life adventures have taken you to a good place in your life...you should be proud!

    Sarah
  13. by   Beach_RN
    Sarah....I know it is difficult to leave your babies behind but making the sacrifice now will benefit them in the future..... Nothing is forever as we all know.... Dr. Laura..... Is just full of opinions.... I have to turn her off sometimes.....

    Your children love you unconditionally! That will never change..... Your still a good mother....your just a mom that is going to school!


    Good luck!
  14. by   DebsZoo
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    Last edit by DebsZoo on Apr 20, '03

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