There's nothing worse than a FAT nurse!

tothepointeLVN, LVN · Jun 6, 2012

Therefore, I'd be mortified if a student caught me pigging out on something unhealthy.

I had a clinical instructor that would sit in her car and eat her lunch because she was afraid we would frown on her less than healthy choices since she was very overweight. She didn't realize we loved her all the same.

Let's face it the word fat hurts in that hide in your closet and cry way. Would you think twice about calling someone ugly to their face. I think most of you would. I've been called a fat "dog" on a couple of occasions for no other reasons that I exist. My nickname in Highschool was "big bum" when I was at my smallest. My mother thought it hilarious.

Fat is just an easy way that people get to hurt and criticize others to boost their own ego. My sister does it all the time. She can't feel happiness in her own skinniness unless she has me to compare to.

Fat hurts in so many ways.

BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN · Jun 6, 2012

Fat is just an easy way that people get to hurt and criticize others to boost their own ego. My sister does it all the time. She can't feel happiness in her own skinniness unless she has me to compare to.
Fat hurts in so many ways.

Yes, I agree, it hurts. But the reality is, there is no nice way to say it. Let's think of all the words we use to gently describe someone who is overweight: "heavy-set, plus-sized, big girl". Have you ever tried to describe someone without using any of those words? It is not easy. I'm not saying the word fat is the right word to use. Trust me, I am well aware of this, having an adolescent whose body is changing, and I have no idea what her future holds. Any time I mention food choices, or activity (or lack thereof) I am accused of calling her 'fat'.

A friend on a non-nursing board posted this, in a discussion about an overweight adolescent. It's long, but a good read:

Is it ever right to tell your child she's FAT? | Mail Online

tothepointeLVN, LVN · Jun 6, 2012

Yes, I agree, it hurts. But the reality is, there is no nice way to say it. Let's think of all the words we use to gently describe someone who is overweight: "heavy-set, plus-sized, big girl". Have you ever tried to describe someone without using any of those words? It is not easy. I'm not saying the word fat is the right word to use. Trust me, I am well aware of this, having an adolescent whose body is changing, and I have no idea what her future holds. Any time I mention food choices, or activity (or lack thereof) I am accused of calling her 'fat'.
A friend on a non-nursing board posted this, in a discussion about an overweight adolescent. It's long, but a good read:
Is it ever right to tell your child she's FAT? | Mail Online

I'm going to be honest and personal ever comment my mother ever said to me nice or otherwise about my weight ( remember I was normal weight growing up ) added fuel to the weight gain fire. Weight can be lost but self esteem is hard to rebuild

My point was not really aimed at between people who have relationships that require them to care about another's weight ( medical professional or mother) but at people who comment on people's weight because they can. No other reason expect they can.

BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN · Jun 6, 2012

I'm going to be honest and personal ever comment my mother ever said to me nice or otherwise about my weight ( remember I was normal weight growing up ) added fuel to the weight gain fire. Weight can be lost but self esteem is hard to rebuild

So, would you rather hear it from your mother, who loves and cares about you unconditionally? Or friends (who probably aren't your friends) who will talk about you behind (or in front of) your back, or on the internet? I'm not trying to argue, I hope you understand. I'm just trying to understand it from all angles.

Additionally, while I don't have the article to cite it, I recently read that close to 50% of parents claim their pediatricians never addressed the weight issue with their overweight kids.

In other news, last month a 9 year old who weighed 200 lbs and was removed from his parents home, was returned back. He pretty much gained back all the weight he lost during the time he was removed. My point is, we're still *****-footing around the issue.

snmzelle · Jun 6, 2012

You could be like some thin, cute nurses I know who are well respected and liked because they are so petite, young and cute. No one can see their insides shredded apart from the mounds of ex-lax they take and the trips to the bathroom to puke up every meal except for their psychiatrists of course. Or you could be one of those nurses who never gets fat b/c she works double shifts every day and has another job on the weekends where the stress and lack of sleep is probably putting her in her grave several years early from a destroyed immune system. Then there are the nurses who eat bad, but only once a day. Their coronary arteries look like cheese stix, but they're thin. Don't forget the COPD nurses who may not smoke, but inhale twice as much pollution b/c they live in big cities. Hmmm, well, it appears to me that the message here is: The way we look is directly proportional to how we are treated . With no pun intended, too much weight is placed on weight.

Tell your doctor to pizz off and congrats on loosing the L. B.s! :)

tothepointeLVN, LVN · Jun 6, 2012

I'm not going to make recommendations on how to parent your daughter because you know her best. Most "fat" people are not blissfully unaware of their weight, we don't need people to kindly tell us. Somebody telling me I'm fat doesn't make me think oh I should do something about it. People honestly do believe that they can simply tell someone their fat and that person will be "Oh I'll just lose all the weight lalalala." It's not that simple. It's a much bigger problem and it starts with not calling people names and not giving people attributes that are obese having nothing to do with their weight.

Fat TTP gets treated worse than thin TTP ever did and I'm a MUCH nicer person now MUCH

snmzelle · Jun 6, 2012

I like your post TTP! funny and so true.

BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN · Jun 6, 2012

People honestly do believe that they can simply tell someone their fat and that person will be "Oh I'll just lose all the weight lalalala." It's not that simple. It's a much bigger problem and it starts with not calling people names and not giving people attributes that are obese having nothing to do with their weight.

Like every behavior (depression, anxiety, OCD), dependence or addiction (smoking, alcohol, drugs, food, etc.,) I am well aware that it is not that easy. If it were, everyone would be perfect (and we, subsequently would not have jobs). Name calling and frustration does not make it easier, nor does ridicule. But people are mean, impatient and judgmental.

And I'm not looking for recommendations. Again, no negative tone meant here. Just a discussion and perspective. Since this is a widespread issue in this country, we as a society are obviously doing something wrong.

leenie45 · Jun 6, 2012

I find this comment rude and out of line. There are plenty of things worse than a "fat nurse', an uncaring nurse, a rude nurse,and a RUDE doctor! . He should have left it at congrats. People never cease to amaze me with their comments, no filter! His comment wasn't funny, He gets a big zero in the supportive Doctor department. No need to say anything but, "keep up the good work".

By the way, congratulations, my best to you

Stephalump · Jun 6, 2012

How often are you people being counseled about nutrition and health? I feel like I'm missing some widespread aspect of health care.

The majority of contact I have with nurses is, I don't know...in the hospital. While they're...I don't know...saving lives.

Maybe If I was at some sort of weight loss clinic, I would be a little taken-aback by a severely overweight nurse, but a nurse telling me to try to get some more veggies in my diet can weigh whatever she wants. I SHOULD be getting a few more veggies in. And, honestly, no one understands a weight struggle quite like someone who has also struggled.

Ideally, yes, we would all strive to be our best in every way. But I'm also aware that I'm an idealist...reality has a tricky way of complicating things.

tothepointeLVN, LVN · Jun 6, 2012

How often are you people being counseled about nutrition and health? I feel like I'm missing some widespread aspect of health care.
The majority of contact I have with nurses is, I don't know...in the hospital. While they're...I don't know...saving lives.
Maybe If I was at some sort of weight loss clinic, I would be a little taken-aback by a severely overweight nurse, but a nurse telling me to try to get some more veggies in my diet can weigh whatever she wants. I SHOULD be getting a few more veggies in. And, honestly, no one understands a weight struggle quite like someone who has also struggled.
Ideally, yes, we would all strive to be our best in every way. But I'm also aware that I'm an idealist...reality has a tricky way of complicating things.

I used to work at a big county clinic and a big part of my job was patient education so I did a lot of nutrition counseling. I never felt that my patients looked down on me because I was larger and my experience with gaining weight and not being able to lose it really shaped the way I was able to get my message across. I used to teach the plate method a lot even before it replaced the pyramid. I feel if you keep it simple and guilt free your more likely to inspire change. The patients always needed to feel like I was on their 'team'

I gained weight from a medication side effect : 60lbs in 60 days and my doctor at the time swore up and down it wasn't the meds and told me to eat "salads"

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Jun 6, 2012

" the "n" word is in the dictionary as a stingy person...

stingy, mean, avaricious, ungenerous, close, near (informal), sparing, grudging, mercenary, frugal, parsimonious, penurious, tightfisted, scrooge-like, stingy (antonyms: liberal, generous, lavish, prodigal, bountiful, munificent)2. paltry, mean, small, inadequate, miserable, pathetic, insufficient, beggarly, scant, meagre, skimpy, measly, scanty, wretched

the "n" word used to be used freely and was appropriate.......a long time ago, not now. the word itself remains offensive and is not used in polite society even when used in "context". just because i don't think it should be removed from huck finn....doesn't mean it should be used in polite society. the "r" word is one of those words. once used to describe a medical condition...... the negative, hurtful connotation has prevailed and should not be used. imho."

i hate to disagree, but you are mistaken. it's a common confusion, though. "niggard" is not the "n-word," and the "n-word" is not so defined in any dictionary.

the word "niggardly" (which is the one for which you've provided the synonyms, and a bunch of antonyms to boot) has nothing to do with the "n-word," which, as we all know, has an "e" in it, not an "a." "niggardly" entered english in the early 1500's from the scandinavian nig, miser. then because a niggard was a stingy guy, and the -ly made it an adjective. it is a perfectly good word and many people who get fluffed up about it do so because they can't spell. here's a quote from a local boy:

"art can never match the luxury and superfluity of nature. in the former all is seen; it cannot afford concealed wealth, and is niggardly in comparison; but nature, even when she is scant and thin outwardly, satisfies us still by the assurance of a certain generosity at the roots."

-henry david thoreau

"nigga" (don't swoon, this is a language lesson) comes to us from the mid-1600's and derives from the spanish word negro and/or the french negre (needs an accent, can't add it here), "black." totally different derivation and usage.

[h=3][/h] "the word niggard, which means "miser," and its adjective form niggardly, have fallen under attack in recent years due to the relatively recent appearance of n***er, the similarly-spelled racial slur against african-americans. the objection to the use of niggard on grounds of racial discrimination is unfounded. apart from the similar spelling, the two words have nothing to do with each other.

historically and etymologically, the two words have had no relation; one did not derive from the other. niggard comes from middle english, which in turn comes from the scandinavian word nig. the racial slur is a much more recent word, originating from the middle french word negre, from the spanish word negro, from the latin word niger. these early variations were not considered racial slurs; the derogatory connotation only started showing up as recently as the mid-1900s." fun with words: commonly confused words

ok, now we return to our regularly-scheduled thread...