Your favorite and personal intimidators - page 2

Please tell me what intimidates you the most in a nursing environment, and please be honest. Also, please tell us if you have seen gender-based intimidation, like from doctors to nurses, or... Read More

  1. by   Gardengal
    I am not easily intimidated, but apparently I intimidate others easily. I spent years trying to "not be intimidating" but realized finally that since I never meant to intimidate, it was not something I could easily change. I just explain to new coworkers that I have been told that I can be intimidating, but I don't mean to be, and to please approach me with any concerns.

    A few years ago I reencountered a previous coworker at a conference, both of us were with friendsand coworkers. The previous coworker shared that she was afraid of me when she was new in my department. It surprized me when my current coworkers and friends agreed. We were friends...how could I intimidate them?

    They explained that it was because i held high standards of myself and others, and felt like they couldn't measure up. I was shocked by this, as I never felt that my expectations were that much higher than anyone elses. Now I just recognize that as a perfectionist, I need to relook at everything as-what would a reasonably prudent nurse do.....I find that less people are intimidated, but still have to shoot for the ideal myself. If people become intimidated by my standards which I don't consider unrealistic is it my fault? I have chosen not to worry about it any longer, once I've explained to others that it is not my intent to intimidate.
  2. by   flowerchild
    Ditto:

    "Well, durn, I thought from the title that this thread was about my personal favorite Intimidator.....................#3 Dale Earnhardt......
    From my perspective( a card carrying old fart) not many people intimidate me...male or female...doctor or fellow nurse...or anyone else for that matter......So.....maybe it`s an age thing?? I can remember feeling put upon as a youngun........but have changed alot as I`ve gotten more seasoned........Hang in there Mario, as you feel more comfortable in yourself, this will ease....."
  3. by   mario_ragucci
    Originally posted by Sleepyeyes
    I feel intimidated when PCT's second-guess my assessments and tell me what I should do for a pt.
    Example: last night a PCT said to me, "The pt in 403D needs something for agitation right now, and if you don't give it right now I'll just let you change him next time."
    But--since you started this interesting scenario, should I have said anything, Mario? What's your take on this? Will she continue to treat me like this because I didn't put a stop to it? Does she realize how disrespectfully she is treating me? (I think yes; she feels important when she's "right," especially over an RN.)
    First off, this is another gold vein for us to learn off, thank you,

    BIG TIME SLEEPY EYES - what intimidates me real strong is when someone steps in and takes control, or verbally doubts you to your face with contradictory behavior NOT based on reality.

    During our video lab [a nursing lab where they tape you responding to scenarios and then critique your responce] a scenario came up where the PT had to ambulate from bed to wheelchair with a stoke on one side. My assistant broke right in on my actions and openly disputed my choice in pivoting directs. No one ever broke up like that and interuped the scene to the camera, but a normally shy woman authoritatively tried to shoot me down. The whole point of the video lab is to wait till the end and others can freeze it or watch it again.

    Anyway, in terms of my own intimidators, I could be letting the way people act get to me. And, I should accept the indimidation of others as part of my own human condition. It's one of those emotions you have to recognise and keep in check, like anger or jealousy. I want to thank EVERYONE for he intellectual responses and help me deal with intimidation. Actually, the very nature of intimidation intimidates me because I can't understand the way some people think.
  4. by   Sleepyeyes
    me neither but, like you, I'll just keep tryin' *sigh*

    good luck to us
  5. by   micro
    the way some people think.....
    heck I cannot even know how I think.......sometimes.....

    but professionally, I do carry myself and act in my own style.....
    I have developed and carried this style now for awhile....my nursing abilities and style.....works for me.....not that I am a done deal, because I will probably be a nurse for many more years........

    in nursing school, I remember a nursing instructor that brought me into a conference for her own reasons and told me that since I did not have any children.....that I needed a hobby.........
    like duh!!!!!!!!! back in those days.....I just took it.....and felt bad like less than my fellow nursing students that had children, the whole picket fence thing, etc........
    -----bar the fact that I was a top grade student.....and "loved and lived in my nursing books and program".....
    I went into nursing in my "second lifetime"........

    I saw instructors almost if not purposely "intimidate" students publicly(within the group).....for ????? knows what reason.....
    .....they seemed to pick on students of any age, someone who was possibly more shy than others, male students more than women.........


    now looking back at it.....I just come to terms with that people are people, with their differences and "weaknesses".........
    at the same time that nursing instructor may purposely or not.....intimidate a student......
    I truly feel that they may feel intimidated within their own job scope..........and also may feel intimidated by students that may "intellectually very high seeking", where the nursing instructor may have just a "more rote" approach to teaching nursing.......
    not that a certain scope of practice and "routine" and this is the "way it is" should also be taught.........because nurses must all be on the same page..........to a point..........

    is it a gender based thing.........I would wish to say no.....but I know that I have seen where it has been in "two" occasions that I know of when I was in nursing school.....before 1992, that two gentlemen within the program......did just seem to be "dogged" by the instructors, where other students were just let be and etc. One of the guys, today is one of the BEST nurses I know.....but he had to fight through every inch of this particular course that this instructor taught, twice.........it was not fair or just..........
    I have seen it occur toward "older male students" that come through the hospital where I am at.........for their clilnicals.....
    instructors have hangups, just like the rest of us.....they are not perfect and sometimes this does effect their job ability.....

    What intimidates me within the work setting. Much less than things used to. You, see my inner personality is one of peace and getting along almost if not to a point of weakness.....

    But today, doctors do not in 99.9% of the time intimidate me in anyway. I am an RN and they are the doc.....I am equal to them in regards to our places within the health care system.....
    docs need nurses and nurses need docs......it is a good systems if people within the system.....
    respect each other on an equal basis, while the scope of thier different titles,abilities, etc. are acknowledged, and practiced

    what intimidates me the most.......within the work setting.....
    is anyone, especially another nurse or aide, that just has an outright NEGATIVE ATTITUDE.....and does not work as a team.......and seems to almost take pleasure in shoving their authority(rather actual or informal) down my throat or anyone elses..........

    bullying and workplace "violence", laterally.........
    is still probably the most intimidating of all.........

    also, anxiety producing for me within a work setting.....
    is when the major attitude of the unit, charge and other nurses is negative.......and teamwork doesn't exist in a natural flow.......but forced.....when this occurs........help and coordination of care.....is not accomplished due to >>>>>>>>>we can not work in a vacuum...........
    for me to do my job well, you must do your job well.........

    and to end on a +++++ note.........
    and a bit change of subject........

    I like my work.....I like my coworkers(majority of)

    I consider each individual within the unit or org. my equal with the differences of our jobs and titles of course coming into play.....

    I cannot do my job well, without the doc, the charge nurse, the nurses aides, housekeeping, dietary, maintenance and my fellow nurses within the unit I work on and throughout other departments......and outside of.....

    I also feel that us old stressed out nurses on the floors can be intimidating to the nursing students that come through and even at times to their nursing instructors that are trying to bring their students through this clinical environment for the learning process.....

    I know some fellow nurses today, that are also clinical instrutocs and it is a definite change in roles and view of health from that side.............

    enough of my rambling.....

    intimidation exists.......
    but I feel that for myself, intimidation is only a feeling, and a feeling is real, but is not permanent.....
    I will only feel intimidated if I allow myself to be........

    Mario,
    Do not anyone purposely intimidate you. Rather their intent seems purposeful or not...... it may just be the human factor, either in their approach towards you(for whatever reason) or in their reaction towards how you carry yourself.
    You are going to be a great nurse, Mario. Part of this whole thing is just learning through the imperfection of being human...........

    did any of this make sense?

    be well, Mario.....
    study hard and then bike.....:-)
    be well all,
    luv,
    micro
  6. by   shabookitty
    Anyone that determines whether I am hired...or should be fired! haha!
    Nursing homes intimidate me.
    And those "know it alls that haven't done it all"
    Most folks with any phone calling, pen pushing superiroity...It's hard to trust them.
  7. by   CMERN
    In our E.D. I have not witnessed gender biased intimidation. We "female" nurses love our guys..Gay or strait--(whos business?) We respect each other and show our patients how we respect each other. We are a family..( odd it just hit me). I have witnessed numerous Doctors attempt to intimidate nurses, with a gender based preference...But WHOA the doctor who attempts to intimidate one of us unjustifiably!!! I personally find cruel 2 faced nurses intimidating, because they aren't up front and honest and it is hard to cope with some one whom you really CANT trust ....... professionally or emotionally..THAT IS INTIMIDATING TO ME!!!
  8. by   BBFRN
    Originally posted by mario_ragucci


    Me - I am intimidated by women who act strange to me upon meeting me because I am a guy.
    Maybe they act strange around you because you're weird, and you quote a lot of classic rock songs. :kiss Please know that I'm just teasing you!
  9. by   mario_ragucci
    Originally posted by lgflamini@msn.c
    Maybe they act strange around you because you're weird
    Whats weird about typing your felings on a bulletin board, or enjoy the feelings of music. No one likes to be made fun of publically, and I never attacked you. You have caused me to weep alone now, because you think I am weird. Maybe yewd like to see my name change to "bebe le strange."
  10. by   Glad2behere
    Gosh Mario,

    I have so many whelps on my head that I don't get intimidated very easily....most stuff roll off like water on a duck. When they show teeth and want to take a bite I do feel a little concerned though.
  11. by   BBFRN
    Originally posted by mario_ragucci
    Whats weird about typing your felings on a bulletin board, or enjoy the feelings of music. No one likes to be made fun of publically, and I never attacked you. You have caused me to weep alone now, because you think I am weird. Maybe yewd like to see my name change to "bebe le strange."
    :chuckle :roll :chuckle You crack me up!

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