Five months ago, my life took a sudden hairpin turn and went down a 200-foot embankment.
Five months ago, I was laid off from my comfortable nursing-home job and found myself unemployed, broken, and depressed. I had knee surgery and regained over forty of the 60+ pounds I lost two years ago. I couldn't pay my bills. And the more desperate I was to find work, the harder it became; I applied at dozens of facilities and went through a number of interviews, only to be rejected over and over again. Then I took a part-time job at another nursing home where every shift was an eight or ten-hour endurance contest......and where they told me I'd be full-time by the end of September, then gave me all of three scheduled shifts in the entire month of October.
So---used-up, defeated, and and knowing I wouldn't last long in that position if I DID go to full-time---I decided to keep looking for a real job, even though I was thoroughly discouraged by the entire process. My family and friends kept trying to perk me up, telling me they believed in me and that I should be patient because something better was just around the corner. But I didn't buy it.....and if the truth be known, I feared my career just might be over.
Then one night, I was surfing the job boards and saw an ad for an assisted living community that was in search of a full-time nurse to serve as the director of health services. ALF nursing was a job I'd once loved, but had to leave because I'd gotten burned out by the 24/7 nature of being the staffing coordinator, assistant administrator, and occasional med aide in addition to my regular duties. Now, however, faced with the need to get out of bedside nursing coupled with the growing desperation of our financial situation, I figured I could go farther and do worse.........so I e-mailed my resume and hoped for the best.
I was called for an interview within an hour of posting my CV. Long story short, I landed that job in the space of two hours and learned that I was inheriting a building that not only offered a stable core staff, but TWO resident care managers who dealt with all the staffing and scheduling issues, an executive director who'd been an EMT and probably forgotten more about emergency care than I'll ever know, and more money than I've ever made in my career. Oh, and they weren't even in crisis..........they'd passed their state survey in July and had their systems firing on all eight cylinders. But their nurse had gone to another of the company's buildings, and they needed someone to keep things running smoothly in this one.
Fast-forward to tonight: I've now finished up my third week in this facility, and I can honestly say that the ONLY fly in the ointment is the 40-minute drive to and from work. Otherwise, I have to wonder just what I did to deserve this miraculous reversal of fortune; the staff accepted me immediately and have been like sponges, soaking up everything I have to teach them and asking for more. The eighty-plus residents are getting to know me and I them, and no, it doesn't hurt a bit that many of them think I walk on water. Even my boss is so effusive in his praises that it's almost embarrassing---today he told me he already sees me "taking the staff to the next level in quality of care" and that I was the "perfect" addition to the team.
Better yet, I've found myself in a place where I'm lucky enough to work for someone who understands how nurses think, because he thinks the same way and is married to a nurse as well. He even gets why we're so protective of our licenses........and unlike the last ALF administrator I worked for, he's not going to throw me under a bus by taking admissions who are inappropriate for assisted living and then expecting me to figure out how to take care of them. During these early weeks, he's also given me the opportunity to get to know the systems and the people, and the freedom to revamp whatever I think needs revamping. It is such a great thing to be trusted to know what I'm doing; I've regained some badly-needed confidence, and I've slipped so seamlessly back into the ALF nursing mode, it's like I never left. This is familiar territory. I was a good ALF nurse, and this place has already made me a better one.
And then, there's the feeling of being "somebody" again. I hate it that the world works this way, but people listen to what you have to say when you hold a responsible position and a nice title. I'd forgotten how good it felt to be regarded as intelligent and wise, instead of being treated like a pack animal with about as much brainpower. I've gone back and forth between management and the floor enough times to know that I'm the same person no matter what sort of job I'm doing, but I've got to admit that work, and life, are a little easier (and more fun!) now that I'm an authority figure again. I get the nicest desk, the newest computer, the coolest office gadgets. And while I'm technically on-call at all times, the RCMs take the vast majority of staff calls and questions, and only the really important stuff (like "Mrs. B just fell in her bathroom and hit her head on the sink, now she's talking crazy") gets forwarded to me.
I don't have to worry about the schedule. No one expects me to come in at 2200 and work the floor if the noc shift med aide calls in. Hiring, firing, employee counseling, and write-ups are all taken care of by the RCMs; I can be involved as much, or as little, as I want to be and have time for. I don't even have to answer the phone.
Sure, getting up at 0-dark-thirty and driving 25 miles one way aren't my idea of a good time---I no longer have the luxury of sleeping till ten every day, goofing around the house till two, and then jumping into the car for the twelve-minute trip to work. But what I've traded my former leisurely life for is so totally worth it that I literally hop out of bed each morning, eager to get going and see what the day has in store. I don't even mind working a five-day week, even though I decided a couple of years ago that I'd never do it again because it was time to start slowing down and enjoying the rest of life more. I do enjoy the 'rest of life' more, especially now that I'm making enough dough to keep us afloat with relative ease and even have some fun along the way. It also helps that I'm home every night and don't have to work weekends or holidays!
So yes, Virginia, there really is such a thing as a second chance.....even for those who secretly fear their best days are behind them and that their lives are on a relentless downhill trajectory. Five months ago, it felt as if the world had stuck a fork in me, because I thought I was done; now, in the space of a few short weeks I've rediscovered my love for life, and suddenly it's brimming with possibilities again.
God is good!
