Work place bullying . . . I am a victim now, and I am afraid to do any thing about it

  1. This all started out not too long ago. I used to feel liked by almost anyone I worked with, but now, I feel, some one has daggers for me.

    It all started one day when I was doing a day shift, which I do not normally do, it was only the 2nd time ever. I did not realize that all of the beds need to be made into daybeds right after breakfast. It should have occured to me, but it didn't. This other CNA (one that I have gotten along with in the past ) approaches me and says "why arent your beds made?" and I just simply said "because I'm not normally a day shift person"

    she offered to help me, and then began talking to me like I was some sort of idiot saying "you tuck this under here , , and this is called a draw sheet . . . and this is called an incontanant pad and it goes like this . . . " and so on and I said and a very polite tone . . . . " I know that" and she was like "well if you know so much why arent you doing your job right"

    At this point I am starting to cry because she was using a very mean tone of voice. , , i said " I'm trying I really am, and I have ben doing alot of stuff" and she gets in my face and starts laughing, and she's all like "what have you been doing? I don't see a thing done on your hall and its almost lunchtime!" and I'm all like " I havn't even sat down once today." and she said "well I havnt either because I have been answering your lights!"

    I was so upset and angry about this I cried throught half the shift. later I came to her and said "sorry about earlier" (yes I am a pushover)

    another time I was showering a resident and I heard one of the bed monotors go off, ya know the ones where you clip the string on the ones who are a fall risks if they get out of bed. Anywho, at my facility a resident is NOT to be left alone in the shower under any circmstances, so I just sped things up since it didnt sound like no one was going to answer the alarm. I get done with my shower, and quickly got my resindent situated. and i was wlaking quicky down the hall and the same CNA that had been giving me trouble was sitting at the nurses station, and didnt move untill I walked by then she started running down the hall, and my residnent was half nude wandering down the hall. That CNA was all like "What the hell is going on! Why arent you watching her . . . ." and she was up in my face about that! " I just looked down at my shoes and I said "I suck. I know I suck"

    I talked to a few trusted co-workers about this, and I guess I'm not the only one. I am crushed that some one wants to treat me that way. Ever time that woman walks by I get so nervous, and it maes me very angry I let her push me around, and now that she knows she made me cry it probably makes her feel "powerful" and I think she takes pride in being mean to me!!!

    I am to much of a chicken to tell the DON. I'm still on my probation for being new ya know, and I don't want to be a tattle tale . . . but I don't want to be afraid of a co-worker either!
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  2. 72 Comments

  3. by   tattooednursie
    Oh, and also . . . I always end up being nice and polite to her even after she is mean to me . . .how do I cut that out, and what are better things to say? I'm sick of being a pushover!
  4. by   duckie
    Go to your DON, chances are this is the facility B*****. Explain to your DON that you were doing your best but not being from that shift, didn't know the routine and instead of mouthy one trying to tell you how things are done on days, she proceeded to humiliate and hurt you. If that don't help, the next time big mouth starts, I'd inform her that it's much easier on her to offer you helpful tips and stop the BS unless she wants to be taking care of everyone on her own. Some people are only happy when they are hurting someone so don't take it, put her in her place. Good Luck!!!!!
  5. by   OBNurseShelley
    Get some balls, stand up for yourself and quit your whining. Some people are mean, get over it.
  6. by   Pony Nurse
    Odds are pretty good that if this chick is treating you this badly she is doing it to others. I bet if you complain to the DON, it will not be the first time she has heard it. I have found that problem people don't just have a problem with one person.

    If you chose not to go that route, you need to toughen up and build up your self esteem. We nurses tend to eat our young and you will not survive the profession if you go around with your heart on your sleeve. I know, because I was just like you once.

    I have found bullies only go after people who will take it. If you politely, but firmly, inform her that you will not take her verbal abuse, I guarantee she will back down. If she still persists tell her she is creating a hostile work environment and you will go to the DON.

    Take care, hon, and let us know how it is going.
  7. by   tattooednursie
    Thank you for helping me Ducky!

    No offense OBNurseShelly, but some people feel a lack of self confidance and they feel like it will come back at them if they stand up for themselves. I am one of those people. . . and yes, I am a whiner, everywhere I go my role is #1 whiner, school, work, my vollnteer job, home, and with my friends too . . . thats the way its been since I was little and . . . . Whaaaaaa I dont wanna quit whiiiiiining!!!! I did not mean this with any offense, you do have a point, and yes I do need to get some balls (even though I'm female)
  8. by   Pony Nurse
    OK OBnurseShelly I was trying to say that, only in a nice way...hahaha!!!
  9. by   tattooednursie
    Thank you Pony nurse . . . I sappose you are right . . . I know a few nurses who eat their young. I think its stupid that people have to be that way. I do need to toughen up and stand up to them, but I really do not know what to say to her when she is doing that to me.
  10. by   Pony Nurse
    I don't know why nurses eat their young either. You'd think that we would consider ourselves a sisterhood and watch out for one another. There are some that do. Here in California there is such a shortage I can't understand when I see a nurse run others off because it makes their job harder.
  11. by   Youda
    People will only treat you how you let them treat you. If getting back in her face comes back on you, so what? At least you'll have your self esteem and self respect. To quote our good friend, sjoe, "you'll only get as much crap as you're willing to take." Time to be a b*i*tch* back!
  12. by   mario_ragucci
    Aw Mandy - I know what you mean. Some folks just like to be mean. The path of the rightous nurse is beset on ALL sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil women. You can direct love from all sides too. I have met some RN's who made my day's difficult because of their conduct.

    Just like you, I am uncomfortable around them, and am not good at keeping a frown or a hateful look going all the time. ust be the wonderful person you are and let love and good will be your guide.

    If some CNA, with mega experience and above average psycho-motor skills tries to bully you, just let them. How much more stupid can human behavior become, compared to a bully. Let the bully's conduct amuse you. Predict it, because it is. Always keep your composure. Say something to provoke the bully into misconduct. Use your control.

    Some bullies are that way, and can not be stopped. I heard of them getting into healthcare, and it's a shame. Bullies are in all walks of life. Pray for their death, and hope it comes soon. (kidding) (?)
  13. by   Gator,SN
    futureRNMandi,

    You don't need "balls"!! perish the thought! You have everything that you need, right now, inside you. You are a young woman who has a great future ahead of you in a profession that will, at times, require you to speak up and advocate for yourself and your patients. Try really hard to start finding that voice, NOW, while you are young. Otherwise it is going to be a hard road.

    NO ONE has the right to mistreat you, but the truth is, they can only do so, IF YOU LET THEM!!! Ya know, some people are mean, for no reason, that is the way it is sometimes. You will not change them, but you can change yourself and how you deal with the situation.
    I do want to tell you that if someone confronts you, (and at times this happens) NEVER, EVER, say things like, "i suck" because you give them the opening to make an azz out of you. REPECT yourself!! When you have respect for yourself, it will shine through and others will think twice before giving you crap. It has to start with you though. Never make excuses for your behavior. You are a young adult working in a nursing facility where you are partially in charge of taking care of others. That is huge and it is going to require you to set an example and be accountable and it requires you to be able to take care of yourself so that you can care for others.
    I don't know if you were serious about the whole "whining" thing (I really hope that was you being sarcastic) but if you were serious, then knock it off! It shows immaturity and self centered childishness. You cannot have it both ways....taking care of others and acting like a baby.
    No one here can tell you how to stand up for yourself, you just have to do it.
    you don't need to get balls, you need a backbone.

    Good luck with the situation!
    Gator
  14. by   tattooednursie
    Thank you so mch ya'll . .BTW . . .I was being sarcastic

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