After graduating from high school in Northern Ohio, all I wanted to do was- just get out. And that's exactly what I did; I packed up and moved out to sun-drenched Fayetteville, NC. I had been accepted into a Private- Liberal Arts school also known as, Methodist University. It was my ideal fairytale fantasy come true!
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I was not only playing Women's Lacrosse, but I was finally away from home, away from my parents, away from what I thought I knew as "all my troubles", and I was given a brand new start in life.
Let's just say, the time and money I was able to spend at that school was worth every penny. I would never exchange all the friends and memories I was blessed with. Sorry to say, my single/divorced mother could not afford the $15,000 per semester tuition. Just after spending one semester at MU, I received the ever-devastating news and I was forced to come back home.
I thought my whole world was crashing down around me... I had to leave my best friends, school, my lacrosse team, all my freedom & independence - and all without warning. To top it all off, I had to come home to live with my father and his "new" family. It took me eighteen long years to figure out and sort through the people you could really depend on, and my mother wasn't one of them.
Going through my so-called "tragedy" I had no one to talk to. My father just didn't understand, my twenty-two-year-old sister was too hectic with her own life, and my best friends were 300,000 miles on the other end of the telephone. I never felt so alone or so depressed in all my life- all I wanted was someone to talk to. So coming back to Ohio to live with my father, I had four main goals: get back into school, get a job, get a car, and get out.
I felt like I was getting nowhere-especially when I enrolled in school. I made an utmost sporadic decision of going with nursing. It dawned on me that I could help people who really need it, and more importantly be there for someone and offer a listening ear to all their problems when everyone else has walked out and suddenly stopped wanting to hear. I wanted to be that person! I wanted to make a difference and reassure somebody that it's going to be OKAY - even when they think their world is crashing down around them.
That's when I got the feeling in my heart - I know this is the right decision and I know I want to be a nurse. As of last week, I passed my NET and am awaiting my interview and the chance to turn in my essay to be considered for the May admission of the Nursing program for 2008. I know it is going to be a challenge and there is going to be countless obstacles for me to overcome....But I keep in mind the countless number of hearts, souls and wounds I am going to heal, with not only me with my stethoscope and Band-Aids but with my caring nature and ability to listen to others, I have no doubt I will get where I'm going and where I want to be.
After what I experienced I lost faith in the things I believed in, I lost sight of life and how beautiful it actually is. I learned that when given the chance you should cherish all that you have and for the moments you are given. Because each one is unusual, mesmerizing, one that you can not only learn but also grow from. I am a true believer that 'Everything happens for a reason and what is meant to be will always find its way...' No matter how you get there, or how I come to be a nurse and be able to help people with real problems, you always know God is watching over you and never lets go, even when you think your world is crashing down around you...
Writing this with tears streaming down my face, this is why I want to be a nurse. Helping people is a genuine gift that comes from the heart; I believe I can heal the wounds, bring out the sheer bliss and reassuring hope in all the patients in my future. I want to make a difference and be the difference. I have realized you cannot change the past- but you can mold your future into the destiny you deserve.
I hope I have helped make someone's day brighter, even over the internet. God bless.
