Why are the divorce rates among nurses so high? - page 5

by TiffanyLe

14,715 Views | 74 Comments

THere's been several surveys and studies done on professions with the highest divorce rates. Among bartenders, entertainers and telemarketers, the nursing profession was one of them. Why? And for those that are not... Read More


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    I am not surprised if the rates are higher among nurses...my husband and I married very young after the birth of our son and in the midst of me starting my LPN career. Weathering all the changes that nursing brought upon my personality and the fact that we naturally changed from when we were late teenagers almost broke our marriage. I, as others have said, had nothing left to give once I got home from work. But I am lucky enough to have a man who sat patiently by my side giving me time to figure myself out before I could even begin to deal with our marriage. I learned the hard way to just leave work at work. I do vent to my husband, he is a mechanic so all my work stories are weirdly interesting to him lol, but I don't carry my stress home. I will be honest my nursing career has had to take a back seat to keep us a happy healthy family. My husband makes more than me and carries insurance so I have to work around his schedule which has led to me having to switch jobs more than my liking. I only work PRN and am using this time to bridge to RN while my children are still toddlers. I do get moments where I think damn I wish I could work full time and have the job I really want...but it will come in due time. My youngest will graduate HS when I am 42 so I will have plenty of time after that to be super nurse but that fact is the reason I am ok with not necessarily working where I want too right now. I am down right SHOCKED my husband and I have made it as far as we have, we had a lot of odds stacked against us that I have seen people divorce for less. I think what makes us tick is laughter. We both have the humor of 12 year old boys. We are the only people who find each other funny. And he is my exact opposite so what one lacks the other one is strong in. It works, I don't know why, but I am unbelievably grateful it does. I can't imagine my life without him and I know when I graduate from my RN bridge program he will be the one cheering for me the loudest : )
    smartypantsnurse likes this.
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    Thanks for your responses everybody. I'd like to revisit this topic and ask you.....if you had to do it differently with your failed relationships, what would you do differently?
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    I'm getting married in about a month. Nurses really need to marry people who are EXTREMELY good listeners. Nurses also need partners who watch out for your physical and mental health, because I know as a nurse I'm so focused on other peoples' health I sometimes neglect my own. My fiance is always watchful for signs that my health issues are getting out of control again, and he's not afraid to remind me that I can't care for others without caring for myself as well.
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    Quote from Blue Roses
    I'm getting married in about a month. Nurses really need to marry people who are EXTREMELY good listeners. Nurses also need partners who watch out for your physical and mental health, because I know as a nurse I'm so focused on other peoples' health I sometimes neglect my own. My fiance is always watchful for signs that my health issues are getting out of control again, and he's not afraid to remind me that I can't care for others without caring for myself as well.


    Nurses also have to avoid choosing someone that would need "guidance"...blending your professional and personal life...Yikes!!

    Also, we must take care of ourselves...emotionally, especially...if we cannot do that, entering in healthy relationship will be daunting, and the risks for problems increase.
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    @Blue Roses - I totally agree. I think it is deeply inherent that we (especially females) need someone that will listen to us talk about our day. Whether or not my boyfriend is actively listening is a different story. LOL! I am thankful though, that he is there for me so I could verbally vomit everything about work, school, etc.

    @ladyfree28 - Can you expand more on avoiding partners who need guidance? Are you talking about avoiding partners that don't have careers yet?
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    @Blue Roses - I totally agree. I think it is deeply inherent that we (especially females) need someone that will listen to us talk about our day. Whether or not my boyfriend is actively listening is a different story. LOL! I am thankful though, that he is there for me so I could verbally vomit everything about work, school, etc.

    @LadyFree28 - Can you expand more on avoiding partners who need guidance? Are you talking about avoiding partners that don't have careers yet?
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    TiffanyLe, as nurses, we are astute enough to use those skills we learned in mental health nursing to see what traits a person has.

    If a individual can bounce back by being laid off, illness, insurmountable circumstances, able to look out for self and others, and able to work on handling emotions, then that is ok. I'm talking about ones who absolutely are heading to train-wreck island, we KNOW it, and then enable the person in a nursing way, by caring for them.
    The relationship is one-sided, co-dependent mess for both parties.
    Last edit by LadyFree28 on Apr 7, '13
    IowaKaren likes this.
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    Quote from TiffanyLe
    Thanks for your responses everybody. I'd like to revisit this topic and ask you.....if you had to do it differently with your failed relationships, what would you do differently?
    I would have never gone out with the guy who had no job, no car, and smoked weed all day... LOL
    GrnTea and Hygiene Queen like this.
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    I have been with my husband for over 20 years. Some stuff just is not worth the argument. And I am too old and crusty to start over. In all seriousness, it is the divorce rate in general, as opposed to a specific job. We live in a time that has websites dedicated to cheating, people thinking that the grass is greener elsewhere, and nope, sorry, I do NOT want to cook ya up a nice hot meal before I take a shower----
    Marriage is give and take. That simple. For some, the goal is to raise good kids. That is a team effort. For others, the goals may be different, but it needs to be a team.
    Is my marriage perfect? Far from it. But it also comes with an understanding that I am an independent person at the root of the team. So if the grass seems greener elsewhere, I would be able to take care of myself. With that, kids need to be priority--it becomes about them pretty quickly.
    So don't do anything dumb. By that I mean don't think for a moment that the young successful man that is poking you on the facebook is a viable option. Keep your head on straight. Give a little, get a little. But know in your heart that you can do this--but are choosing to be part of a team.
    And for those going through a divorce right now--you will be content, just a matter of time. Blessings all around.
    Hygiene Queen likes this.
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    @Tait LOL! Girl, I think we've all had one of those in our lives at one point in time.


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