Why are the divorce rates among nurses so high? - page 8

THere's been several surveys and studies done on professions with the highest divorce rates. Among bartenders, entertainers and telemarketers, the nursing profession was one of them. Why? And... Read More

  1. Visit  LadyFree28 profile page
    0
    Quote from TiffanyLe

    Thank you for sharing. You are extremely courageous beyond belief. I have absolutely no idea how difficult it is to leave a DV relationship, but it sounds like leaving it is just as difficult as staying in one. I applaud your strength.

    Do you think if you didn't go to nursing school and recognize the mental health issues, would you have been able to leave?
    I still would've had the strength to leave regardless.

    I met people who had to leave their home state and uproot their children to find peace because of the danger. The choice can certainly be a very dangerous one.

    My coping mechanisms in place pre- and post nursing school made me survive the ordeal. I have a low tolerance for disrespect, and I hold dear to my standards. I am open minded, but I will not allow someone to force me to conform. I'm pretty logical when it comes to deciding choices; I prefer to critical think more now than ever; and realized that is what I was doing then; my goal was to be a successful nurse, and to enjoy life, basically. Pretty simple.

    When I started my journey in nursing school and was not successful at 19, I looked around at my circle of friends. They were not doing or coping well, so I ended up distancing myself from them. I wanted my path for success to be possible.
    By the time I finished nursing school, my late ex was in the height of his crisis, he was depressed and paranoid. I tried to be a listening ear, and he had people around to help him get to where he could've been. He refused, and he personally did not want to be a part of this physical world. No amount of referral to services was going to help; they were suggested, avoided, until his job required him to go or he was going to be fired. He was fired eventually.

    He made his choice; he did not take it seriously. I went with him; and he was in a serious crisis, and was totally vocal in his plans to harm people, even me, right in front of the counselor. In addition, he decided to isolate himself more and more. I know that was not my plan to be in such a tense unhealthy relationship; and to go to with him to counseling out of concern, and in some ways, a validation of logic to make someone who was illogical at the time was downright absurd in hindsight, but an attempt at survival at the time. It didn't work; however, after that session, I never went back, and only looked forward.
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  3. Visit  Tait profile page
    0
    Quote from Mac7421
    You are absolutely correct. If God was here then this thread would never have started, much less be an issue. So my hope is my observation will bring His presence where it is need. Also, I was unaware that making an observation and suggestion was preaching. But if that's what it is, I'm glad I got the opportunity to do so. By your commenting, you brought this thread right back to "current" so it can be seen more readily by others. So I thank you greatly. I think that I struck such a nerve that you had to condemn my "preaching" means you were the one the message was meant for. I find it funny that we say "Thank God" when we pass exams, pass NCLEX, or get the dream job. And when we want something we "Pray for God's help" like He will magically change everything just like that. Then we confine Him to "just there, just now" and forget Him the rest of the time. I feel that if we strove to have Him more a part of our lives, then the rest would fall into place. Anyways, that's my take and opinion. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, doesn't mean we have to approve of each others. We just have to respect others may not feel or think the same way. That said, I'm not trying to offend you. Merely responding in kind. If I did offend you, then please except my apology, and I hope you have a pleasant day.
    It is comments, in particular the second sentence, that alienate those who do not live in a black and white world.

    My parents were married for religious reasons and were divorced after 14 painful years. My in-laws married against religious expectations (one Catholic and one Lutheran) and have been married for over 42 years.

    While I do not believe in a "personal" God per se, one that determines who wins the football game, makes the rain stop on my wedding day, or somehow has interpersonal play in each individual life, I do believe in a presence that gives us the tools we need to succeed. God teaches us compassion, patience, love, integrity, respect, tolerance, and many other lessons vital to maintaining a marriage.

    For me, and I am sure many others, a personal "prayerful" relationship with God may wax and wane during the years, but the concepts instilled in us remain. This is why perhaps many of us don't cite God as a "hallelujah" praise every time we run into a roadblock or have a nice day.

    My marriage is successful because I communicate, respect, love, and find peace in my marriage and my husband does the same. We are on two different spiritual paths at the moment, but both understand the values taught by lessons. My previous relationships failed, not because I lacked God, but because I lacked insight into myself and my own needs.

    I take responsibility for my actions, and do not blame any outcomes on God.

    Tait
  4. Visit  Mac7421 profile page
    1
    Quote from Tait

    It is comments, in particular the second sentence, that alienate those who do not live in a black and white world.

    My parents were married for religious reasons and were divorced after 14 painful years. My in-laws married against religious expectations (one Catholic and one Lutheran) and have been married for over 42 years.

    While I do not believe in a "personal" God per se, one that determines who wins the football game, makes the rain stop on my wedding day, or somehow has interpersonal play in each individual life, I do believe in a presence that gives us the tools we need to succeed. God teaches us compassion, patience, love, integrity, respect, tolerance, and many other lessons vital to maintaining a marriage.

    For me, and I am sure many others, a personal "prayerful" relationship with God may wax and wane during the years, but the concepts instilled in us remain. This is why perhaps many of us don't cite God as a "hallelujah" praise every time we run into a roadblock or have a nice day.

    My marriage is successful because I communicate, respect, love, and find peace in my marriage and my husband does the same. We are on two different spiritual paths at the moment, but both understand the values taught by lessons. My previous relationships failed, not because I lacked God, but because I lacked insight into myself and my own needs.

    I take responsibility for my actions, and do not blame any outcomes on God.

    Tait
    I have to say I agree with you greatly, but with a few variations in personal understanding. I feel that living in today's world (2013) that on the contrary, religion is in the gray and not strictly black and white. So I agree with you and didn't mean to alienate anyone. One thing I don't want to do is turn this into a religious debate on who's religion is right vs who's is wrong. Because like you I have family that married from different beliefs (uncle catholic, aunt nazarine). They too have been happily married for 35+ years. One comic I heard several years ago (though secular in nature) wasn't entirely wrong. He said, "We as a people argue way to much on where the message came from. Was is Buddha, Mohamed, or Christ??? What we should worry about is.... Did you get the message!!!" So I'm not saying (nor did I say) that any religion is correct, but that GOD is important. You said, "God teaches us compassion, patience, love, integrity, respect, tolerance, and many other lessons vital to maintaining a marriage." Which is exactly what I'm saying. What you also said was by using those tools you have a successful marriage. Again, fantastic. We are on the same page, just a different paragraph (as my RN instructor would say haha). To conclude, I don't blame God for any of my actions either, I can't because He gave me free will and they were my choices. I too am responsible for my own actions and take full responsibility for them, here and one day in Heaven.
    Tait likes this.
  5. Visit  TiffanyLe profile page
    0
    @mac7421 & @tait Thank you so much for your input. This is a really good conversation about the role/debate of spirituality and relationships. However, I'd like to bring it back to my question on hand:

    WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE NURSING PROFESSION THAT BREAKS UP MARRIAGES? WHY ARE THE DIVORCE RATES SO HIGH AMONG NURSES?
  6. Visit  Vespertinas profile page
    3
    Because you yell at me

  7. Visit  TiffanyLe profile page
    0
    Quote from Vespertinas
    Because you yell at me

    LOL. Of course I'm going to yell at you. You have a senile ostrich (or whatever that is) as your profile pic.
  8. Visit  ThePrincessBride profile page
    1
    OP, the divorce rates are high, period. It is now hovering at around 50-60%, so I'm not sure why you think nurses especially have high divorce rates. The entire nation, as a whole, is getting divorced more frequently. I will say this, though, I do notice that nurses as a whole get married a lot younger than most of the population, and that may play a contributing factor to what you may perceive as a higher divorce rate.
    RN_BSN09 likes this.
  9. Visit  hiddencatRN profile page
    0
    Quote from ThePrincessBride
    OP, the divorce rates are high, period. It is now hovering at around 50-60%, so I'm not sure why you think nurses especially have high divorce rates. The entire nation, as a whole, is getting divorced more frequently. I will say this, though, I do notice that nurses as a whole get married a lot younger than most of the population, and that may play a contributing factor to what you may perceive as a higher divorce rate.

    Actually, divorce rates have been dropping since the 80's and the widely reported rate isn't a very useful number anyway: the divorce rate looks at a single year and compares the number of marriages to the number of divorces in that year. This topic actually just came up on another board I post on and this article was linked. It's a little old but I think it's still a good read: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html?_r=0
  10. Visit  ThePrincessBride profile page
    0
    Quote from hiddencatRN
    Actually, divorce rates have been dropping since the 80's and the widely reported rate isn't a very useful number anyway: the divorce rate looks at a single year and compares the number of marriages to the number of divorces in that year. This topic actually just came up on another board I post on and this article was linked. It's a little old but I think it's still a good read: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html?_r=0
    Less people are getting married as well, so that should play a factor in the numbers.
  11. Visit  hiddencatRN profile page
    0
    Quote from ThePrincessBride
    Less people are getting married as well, so that should play a factor in the numbers.
    And the likelihood of one's marriage ending in a divorce is still decreasing.


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