Who was the last patient to just break your heart?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hello everyone! I love lurking around here and leaving the occasional post but I rarely start a thread. I thought that is something I would like to do right now. As nurses, most of us will experience many situations which challenge our emotions and our ability to keep our composure, evoking so many feelings from anger to sadness and so many others. I was wondering if some of you would like to share a little bit about the last patient/situation at work that shook you to your core or finally broke down a wall that had been building up for awhile. Perhaps we can through this take a little look into each others minds and hearts and appreciate each other for the awesome care we give to our patient's everyday. I work on a pediatric floor currently where we care for many heme-onc patients and of course every time we lose one of "our kids" it's terribly difficult. The last patient who really took me on an emotional rollercoster was not one of those kids but a trauma patient. Adorable 3 year old girl who was in an MVA with her mom and sister - mom died instantly and sister fortunately suffered only minor injuries. I assumed care of her upon her transfer from PICU some 4 days after the crash, and keep in mind that as of this time her family had not even attempted to broach the topic of her mom's death with her. She had fractured her pelvis, both femurs, the radius and ulna on one arm and the radius, ulna and humerus on the other. Her face was covered in bruises and abrasions. On report I was told that dad had only visited for about 30 minutes twice since the child was admitted to the hospital; her sister had been separated from her since the crash and was now at home. I struggled with trying not to judge this father; he was a grieving husband but this is his BABY! How could he not be there for her? She was such a stoic child, wouldn't speak to us and didn't cry either, just stared blankly at the ceiling. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink and ignored everybody and everything around her. In between patient rounds I would park my chair and COW right outside her door in case she started to cry or talk. It was the middle of the night and a couple of coworkers were right there talking with me when we heard her little voice for the first time floating out of the room. She wasn't yelling for us, she wasn't crying, she wasn't moaning - we stood at the side of the door listening to "Mommy, no Mommy. I can't come too, Mommy? Why Mommy?" I walked into the room and my heart broke as I saw that baby raising her casted arms out as if in a hug. :cry: I got such goosebumps and it was obvious to me and my coworkers that her Mommy must have been there with her baby. I cried the whole 45 minute drive home that morning thinking of that poor child all alone in the hospital for more than half a week, her earthly family nowhere to be seen but her mother sure wasn't leaving her baby alone, I'm sure of it. :saint: Fortunately in the next couple days her father and sister began coming regularly to visit her and Dad seemed involved and interested at that point. She began slowly doing better and interacting more with us, she began eating and a few weeks later we were sent pictures from the Peds rehab hospital of this beautiful child playing with other patients and seeming well on her way to recovery. While I hope the care I gave her for 4 nights helped her recovery some I give the majority of the credit to that literal Angel of a mother. I will always remember that little girl. So what's your story?

Specializes in LTC, Psych, Hospice.

Working in hospice, I've had many pts touch me. Several years ago, I took care of an AIDS pt who was in her early 30's. She was funny and we discovered that we had many things in common. We always tried to see who could make the other laugh more. I remember one Friday afternoon, sitting in her room with her and her mama and she told me that she wouldn't be here on Monday. I knew exactly what she was talking about. Hard as I tried, I couldn't stop the tears welling up in my eyes. She looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Stop that crying. You're just jealous because come Monday, I'll be with Jesus and you have to go to work." She died that Sunday morning.

Another pt I had was in her mid twenties w/ colon CA. She had a 5 y/o daughter and was living with her mother. Our MSW had been working very hard with the child and rest of the family to prepare them for the pt death. I will never forget the morning she died, it was about 5 a.m. when I arrived at the home. The little girl met me at the door and said, "Ms. Sharon! It was beautiful! The angels came and got my mama and they told me not to cry." I had goose bumps.

Thank you, OP, for starting this thread.

Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

First, I must say thank you to the OP for starting this thread.

My mother died from Renal Small Cell Cancer 13 years ago. Two years after she passed, I had gotten a pt in the PACU with the same thing. He was recovering from a nephrectomy and was in an incredible amount of pain. He had tears running down his eyes, but a smile on his face because he was simply happy that he had survived the surgery. I had to take a step back, and then I just gave up and cried with him. I got the surgeon to change his PCA order from MSO4 to Dilaudid, and he finally got some relief. He was grunting with pain, but smiling and crying the whole time. It was difficult to handle.

Recently, I had a soldier home on leave that had gotten in to an MVA. He was brain dead. His young wife consented to an organ donation. As I was rolling him from the SICU to the OR, his wife was clinging to the bed, sobbing as 30 formally dressed soldiers followed behind her, all of them crying. They took up the entire hallway, and let me tell you, you could hear a pin drop. We had to physically but gently pry her hands off of the railings to the bed. I could hardly see through my own tears. The only ray of light that I could offer her is that his right kidney went to another soldier while the other went to a pediatric patient. Both of them lived because of her husband and her brave decision.

Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
Patients do not break my heart....that's reserved for the girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband :)

I would love to not identify closely with patients. My job would be easier. Call me a bleeding heart, but I cry with some of them. I suppose I am just very passionate about my job, and very passionate about patient care. I am not saying at all that you are not, I just wish that I could "divorce" my emotions when I run across a particularly sad and heart wrenching patient or situation.

Specializes in PICU now, Peds and med-surg in the past.

Canesdukegirl, your stories were so touching and the story of that poor soldier gave me goosebumps and brought tears to me. Thanks to all of those who are contributing their thoughts and stories - so many days I think alot of us will wondering for a split second why we do what we do and these are some of the stories, sad as they can be, that make me think all the stuff we go through is worth it and meaningful.

I work as a PCT in a general ICU. The one that stands out in my mind happened several years ago and gives me chills to this day when I think about it. We had a younger dad (late 40s I believe) and I don't remember what brought him into the ICU but he deteriorated rapidly and family was at his bedside for several days. He had two teenage daughters and they were having a very hard time dealing with his impending death. He was a full code for those last couple of days and I know he was coded 2 or 3 times during my shifts. Family decided to make him DNR and there were probably 20 people at his bedside when he went down the last time.

I remember standing in the middle of our pod listening to the daughters scream "No daddy no daddy don't die we need you" for the entire length of time it took for him to pass. NO ONE had dry eyes and most of us were openly crying listening to their pain. That one will stay with me forever.

I worked the floor one weekend and had the cutest patient. He was in his mid 50's and had liver cancer. His SBP would not get any higher than 80, even with fluids going.

He also had dysphagia and couldnt eat much.

We were talking in his room and he told me this "I really want a hotdog like they serve at the ball park. You know the one with relish and mustard and onions? And all I really want to do is go fishing one last time".

The next morning I got off and I drove straight to the store to get this man a hotdog. I packed up a lunch and added mustard, relish, and onions on the side. I went up to the floor the next day and suprised him with the hotdog. He was so excited! He took two bites and couldnt eat anymore. He even offered to pay me for the hotdog. I told him I will not accept his money and if I had a way, I would take him fishing and I don't fish. He gave me a hug and I could feel every bone in his body. Later that week he was transferred to ICU. I don't know how he's doing or if he even made it, but I'm glad he got that last hotdog he was craving.

Specializes in Emergency Midwifery.

Two years ago as a midwifery student baby J graced us with his brief existence. J was as beautiful as could be with dark curls and the brightest blue eyes. He was also the sickest little baby I had come across so far. I remember helping with his respirations while his stared into my eyes. We stabilised him and transferred him for specialist care. He slipped quietly away in his fathers arms 3 months later.

A week ago his father comes into my care in a desperate state still haunted by the images of his dying son.

Sleep tight baby J.

On my last day of work....I felt like I was living a Grey's Anatomy episode......and bawling! I had this beautiful woman 58 y/o. She had just gotten back from vacation with her husband a few days earlier, came home, took a shower, ordered pizza and watched some tv. The next they knew, she was screaming and had a horrible headache. They rushed her to the nearest hospital....did a CT which showed brain hemorrhage and rushed her to our hospital...straight to the OR for a crainiotomy/evacuation. She declined on the way there .....they did the surgery and family decided comfort care. Of course my night taking care of her being hospice it's their 27 year anniversary....:( 30 family/friends were there camping out.... and the husband was SO strong. He kept telling me stories about how he "never kissed her enough, so he gave her 27 kisses for their anniversay." Then he went in the room and told her that if it was her time....he was willing to let her go to another place. THEN her daughter went in and told her that "it was okay, we'll take care of dad." etc. I was trying to pull myself together.......too many times as nurses we see our patients and "patients" and not people. When we get a glimpse into their lives as people.....well that's when I lost it!

+ Add a Comment