When the Board of Nursing is out to get you....

Nurses General Nursing

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I'm not posting this asking for advice (although any you give me would be most welcome) I'm posting this to VENT my anger!

The other day I was called into a meeting with my supervisor and Chief of Security (COS) present. There was some concern that there had been four claims against me of sexual harassment within the past 4 months. I should add that since I am one of the few male nurses, I get referred the majority of genital and anal complaints from the female nurses. I ALWAYS have a witness with me when I'm doing this type of exam and carefully document everything. All the allegations have all been proven to be FALSE but the COS was concerned that "something was up," since there were so many in such a short time. His tone was very harsh and nasty and he treated me as if I was an inmate instead of a staff member. He made several comments such as "I would say what I'm thinking, but it wouldn't be appropriate in this meeting." and "If it were up to me I would let you go."

As if that wasn't bad enough, he then asked me "Do you know what a sexual deviant is?" I came completely unglued and had I not been gripping the arms of my chair for dear life I would have jumped across the table and strangled him. He then went on to say that I am showing signs of deviance by telling the inmates, "If you're uncomfortable with this type of assessment, we don't have to do it." Ummm...and all this time I thought I was offering Informed Consent. His qualifications for assessing and diagnosing sexual deviance? He attended a workshop.

My supervisor, who is a coward, did and said absolutely nothing during the meeting. In fact, she has been cold and distant instead of supportive or even concerned. Yes, I want to leave, and will, but if I quit now, it would make me look guilty of something. As I said, I just need to vent, but any ideas, suggestions or even a bit of support would be greatly appreciated.

Play your cards right and you might be a rich man...after your lawyer provides them with an educational moment!

i agree with this poster. i tried reading your post a few times and i feel like encouraging you to go this route. i also agree with another poster that the good nurses are "run off" like this. seems to me you are doing everything correctly. esp. in a prison where there are women who manipulate and make false accusations. your coworkers should be supporting you, especially your supervisor.

man! i feel so bad for you. but i'm in agreement, they need a little education!!! i hope this works out for you.

I really have to agree with the previous poster that suggested these are males wanting a female to touch their privates. They are pissed that the plan didn't work. I don't work in a prison, but I've had men actually ask me to do "digital stimulation" to the rectum to induce a BM. I'm sorry but I don't get paid as well as a prostitute and will not do that stuff. They can take MOM or prune juice. The female staff is right to refuse those exams- but you should be protected too! Unless there is something obviously wrong by observation- those type of complaints should wait for the doctor. I would flat out refuse! That kind of behavior on the part of the inmates is deviant!!! YUCK! I would document the reported symptoms and external appearance and let the MD know in the morning. :eek:

I'm not posting this asking for advice (although any you give me would be most welcome) I'm posting this to VENT my anger!

The other day I was called into a meeting with my supervisor and Chief of Security (COS) present. There was some concern that there had been four claims against me of sexual harassment within the past 4 months. I should add that since I am one of the few male nurses, I get referred the majority of genital and anal complaints from the female nurses. I ALWAYS have a witness with me when I'm doing this type of exam and carefully document everything. All the allegations have all been proven to be FALSE but the COS was concerned that "something was up," since there were so many in such a short time. His tone was very harsh and nasty and he treated me as if I was an inmate instead of a staff member. He made several comments such as "I would say what I'm thinking, but it wouldn't be appropriate in this meeting." and "If it were up to me I would let you go."

As if that wasn't bad enough, he then asked me "Do you know what a sexual deviant is?" I came completely unglued and had I not been gripping the arms of my chair for dear life I would have jumped across the table and strangled him. He then went on to say that I am showing signs of deviance by telling the inmates, "If you're uncomfortable with this type of assessment, we don't have to do it." Ummm...and all this time I thought I was offering Informed Consent. His qualifications for assessing and diagnosing sexual deviance? He attended a workshop.

My supervisor, who is a coward, did and said absolutely nothing during the meeting. In fact, she has been cold and distant instead of supportive or even concerned. Yes, I want to leave, and will, but if I quit now, it would make me look guilty of something. As I said, I just need to vent, but any ideas, suggestions or even a bit of support would be greatly appreciated.

i keep reading this post and i get so mad. who does this COS think he is? the boss?? i think nurses know what a "sexual deviant" is. and talking to you like you were in inmate?? :angryfire i hate it when ppl jump to conclusions and accuse ppl without getting the facts straight. i doubt the COS will even apologize to you for that. what a jerk!!!

sigh... some :clown: 's just don't know what it's like to work the front line.

Specializes in Public Health, DEI.
Maybe the prisoners are playing a game. I heard that prisoners often accuse staff of abuse just to cause trouble. Maybe a few got together to gang up on you. And since you get the majority of genital and anal complaints, maybe they are trying to get rid of the only male nurse.

As to what to do, I would start recording (in writing) any meting you have, starting with the last one. Use a note pad, and time and date everything. This is then a chronological record. These have a lot of power. After a few of these, you might pre sue a case of harassment. Keep getting your witnesses, and document everything well.

Good luck, I hope all works out well.

This is exactly what I thought. Did these complaints come from prisoners in the same cell block, or who have some other connection? I, too, would consider that possibility.

I really have to agree with the previous poster that suggested these are males wanting a female to touch their privates. They are pissed that the plan didn't work. I don't work in a prison, but I've had men actually ask me to do "digital stimulation" to the rectum to induce a BM. I'm sorry but I don't get paid as well as a prostitute and will not do that stuff. They can take MOM or prune juice. The female staff is right to refuse those exams- but you should be protected too! Unless there is something obviously wrong by observation- those type of complaints should wait for the doctor. I would flat out refuse! That kind of behavior on the part of the inmates is deviant!!! YUCK! I would document the reported symptoms and external appearance and let the MD know in the morning. :eek:

You're right, Undecided. The best course of action would be to refer them to the MD where many of the cases go. What's sad is that these types of cases are very common, from groin rashes to testicular cancer. Even worse, when an inmate has something wrong "down there" he mentions it to other inmates first, and always they get the worst case scenario. We have had inmates come down in a full-blown panic thinking that that ingrown hair follicle is a testicular tumor. I could defer them to the MD, but then we'd have 3 times the number of patients on our doctor call and it could be 3-5 days before they see the MD (we don't have one in house). I would hate to leave them in a in a high state of anxiety for that long...knowing what it feels like.

This is exactly what I thought. Did these complaints come from prisoners in the same cell block, or who have some other connection? I, too, would consider that possibility.

Actually, all the complaints are unrelated. Matter of fact, one inmate made a complaint while he was in a detention cell, away from the other inmates. lol he said I gave him two red pills which made him pass out, and while he was unconscious, I snuck into his cell raped him and gave him HIV and HBV. The pills I gave him were Ibuprofen. :chuckle

I have had incidents where one inmate is assessed for a groin rash, and the next day, three other inmates from the same cell block have the same problem. That's when you get suspicious. lol or maybe I'm just really good with my hands.:roll

You sound like a good nurse! And you're really keeping good spirits about this (at least, you are here). :clown:

Hafta chime in on this one...yes, I would get a lawyer. Perhaps even just RETAINING one would make that joker back down a bit. When I worked overseas as a civilian on a military instillation, some hothead accused me of cursing at her (COMPLETELY not true) - and MY supervisors wanted me to apologize to her. !!!!! I even had one cow say, "you have the chance to be the bigger person here" and I said "by apologizing for something I'm not guilty of?" (I had witnesses too! But her two little friends that were with her were also saying I said it - and I didn't! This woman was in her early sixties, which made it even more shocking to me.) Anyway, it kept going on and on, and I stood my ground. A friend of ours happened to be an attorney, and after I burst into tears about it over dinner one night my DH called Ron up - who of course said I was doing the right thing. He also offered to make phone calls if I needed them.

Well, the next day, I was AGAIN approached (this was like five days after this supposed incident) and I said, "Well, my attorney said I'm doing the right thing." The chick who had told me I could be a bigger person looked at me, very condescendingly, and said, "Now you HAVEN'T contacted an attorney," and did everything but wave a finger in my face. I slid Ron's card across the table and said, "Yes, actually - I have."

Oddly enough, it was never mentioned again, it wasn't mentioned in my review, and the review was GLOWING - which I completely deserved anyway.

Definitely get a lawyer.

What that dude doesn't seem to consider is that you are working with INMATES. These types of accusations should be expected when dealing with this type of population. This jerk is acting like you have been put in charge of a bunch of Jr. High girls (who, by the way, are very capable of causing similar trouble but who are assumed innocent because of their youth) instead of criminals.

Please contact a lawyer.

Document...and include the meeting with your boss and the COS (make this one very detailed). Was there another witness to this meeting? or video? anything because they will surely deny what they said.

Get a lawyer and let them know you have one.

Get your union involved if you have one.

Good luck to you.

Can't believe people some times. They need to grab their ears and give their heads a shake.

YEAH dude,

what everyone is saying is right. Working in a prison, do you fear retaliation from co-workers afterward? I can completely understand that. No one likes a stoolie. Guards can be like cops, tight, like a brotherhood. The rest of the faculty can have the same mentality being that most of them started off as guards too. So what do you do? My advice,

Get a lawyer, sue'em, quit your job if you even smell retaliation, laugh all the way to the bank, find a new job.

I hate to trivialize it in such a way. But I'm just considering the possibilities. I really hope it doesn't come to that.

Good luck bud,

gustercc

Specializes in ICU, CM, Geriatrics, Management.

Totally disagree with the lawyer route.

Start looking for another position now. Life's too short.

Make this an opportunity to improve yourself... move up.. forward! Leave all this behind.

You don't need to be there. Find yourself a better place to do your best work!

Specializes in IMCU/Telemetry.
Totally disagree with the lawyer route.

Start looking for another position now. Life's too short.

Make this an opportunity to improve yourself... move up.. forward! Leave all this behind.

You don't need to be there. Find yourself a better place to do your best work!

You can't leave this behind. If you leave this unresolved, it will add substance to the charge. Even if you don't use a lawyer, you must beat the charge. This can follow you around. I always tell people "don't ignore a problem, it won't go away." Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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