Hi, I am an aspiring nursing student. I'm so excited! I cannot do enough research on what I want to do within nursing. Sitting for hours reading your experiences and opinions is how I've been filling my downtime since I've created my account. I wish I could say the reason I chose to pursue a career in nursing was the pay, or the fact there'd always be a job for me. But no, a lack of understanding, a series of poor experiences at the local hospital, and the health issues that run rampant in my family drive my desire to care for people.My mother for years went undiagnosed while dealing with the brutal side effects of metastatic breast cancer in her liver because no doctor decided to do a CAT scan at one of her many Emergency Room visits or hospital stays. There never was a 'right' answer. As a middle and even high school student, this scared me to death. I couldn't imagine losing my mom that young. Little did I know I'd lose her very suddenly and tragically at 19 when a cancer treatment center went along with a misdiagnosis of arthritis when in reality cancer had spread to her bones. I've been told I managed well, but if they could get inside my head they'd be able to see the rough waters that are my thought. All the questions that remain, and guilt I feel stir constantly. If there is any way I can help someone understand what their family, member, friend or love is living with or what caused them to suddenly leave this world, like I wish someone did for me, I feel I would be at peace.A few months after my mom passing, my grandfather's health rapidly declined. I was awakened at four am every morning to help my dad help get my grandfather up from the floor of the bathroom, where you could smell the illness in his bowel movements. I lost ten pounds in less than a week because of the anxiety that something terrible would happen if I weren't there to help, but I also felt I didn't matter.My mom still died with my dad and I giving CPR, why would it be different with him? I wish I was able to recognize the signs. While my dad and I cared for him the best we could while looking into assisted living option he had a mini stroke, which led to a fall. He cut his hand and bled so bad it prompted my dad to call an ambulance. When he arrived at the hospital his blood pressure was dangerously low and hospice was the first suggested option. He was diagnosed with sepsis among other issues. If I could help someone be comfortable and to help the family understand why trying to help someone live with no quality of life might not be the best option, I feel as though I would be at peace.Among all the craziness I realized I wanted to be a nurse while helping my dad recover from knee replacement surgery. Emptying the drain, redoing the bandages, and helping with physical therapy gave me a much-needed purpose after my mom passed away. That's when I decided I wanted to spend my life taking care of people, helping them understand, and providing them with the care I wish I had been shown.I understand not all days will be good days, but if I can help people that were lost in a river of stress and confusion like I was, I feel as though I will finally be at peace. 2 Likes About marisa.m 26 Posts Share this post