Suicide - page 3
During my illness, I received word that my Great Auntie had died. In the next sentence I learned she had taken her own life. She did this the week before her husband's scheduled memorial service. ... Read More
Dec 18, '07NMSANE
My Condolences to you!
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Feb 26, '08I'm so sorry for your loss, but your tribute to your aunt and the subject of elderly suicide was a poignant, personal and sentimental look at the subject through not only your eyes, but the eyes of your aunt, and I was in tears at the last sentence. Truly, I believe her husband caught her on the way down and she was lifted back up. What a lovely blend of fact and family...Thank you so much for sharing.
Jun 8, '08I am very sorry for your loss. I believe your right when you mention the elderly often succeed. Often the elderly have other chronic illnesses to contend with since they are just naturally more fragile, perhaps that is the reason they succeed. Or perhaps, they grew up in a generation of determination, that helped make this nation what it is to day, and this determination could certainly be a factor for suicidal risk. You mentioned you grandmother had recently lost her mate of 60 years, AND she was having memory difficulties. Perhaps she just figured she would take charge of her death and her life, and pass on as she wished. I too am a romantic, and would like to think your grandfather was waiting.
My husband and I lost our 22 y/o son to suicide in 2/04. In retrospect, the signs were there, but we didn't see them. "John" was very handsome, and very athletic, so when he was losing weight, I told him he looked to thin, he said "just trying to get back to my wrestling weight" I told him not to lose anymore. A few months earlier, he had moved out of state for a job, and was visiting over Thanksgiving. He slept most of the time he was at home, he said "I just not feeling well, must have caught a bug".
He returned home, and we got the call one night that he had hung himself. Apparently he had a cocaine addiction, and we believe he was embarrassed because he couldn't "Kick the addiction" himself.
It doesn't do any good to play the "what if I saw the signs" or "If I had only..." Hind sight is always 20/20 - but even so, it's not always right.
My suggestion would be to enjoy your years of wonderful memories, remember the good times, and know that when your time comes, they will be there to meet you.
Jun 14, '08Thank you for sharing about your son ... it is hard to be left behind after a suicide, but I too focus on the good memories and try to respect the choices made by those I love.
Jun 14, '08NMSANE and Hope2, my heart goes out to you.
I just attended a funeral for a man who was one of my son's favorite teachers. I hear that he hung himself. He'd struggled with depression for over a year. His family and friends knew, and tried to help.
Now I must figure out what/how to tell my son when he gets home from camp tomorrow.
Jun 14, '08So sorry for the loss of a loved one to suicide, I wonder about the possible guilt they might be feeling not to mention the abandon & rejection.
Is suicide only a selfish gesture.? Death is so final & so sad.Hope you guys work through your grief & move on .
Jun 14, '08Mom2twins: I do not envy the discussion you will be having with your son tomorrow. There are those who think we should whitewash the truth and leave bits out ... but doing that makes us liers in our children's eyes when the truth comes out later. Providing information that makes our kids grow up more quickly is always difficult.
Safta: I do believe that most of us have worked through out grief in some fashion. Some do believe that suicide is the ultimate selfish act. But depression is a selfish disease; one that makes it almost impossible to see beyond the tip of one's nose. This lack of perspective is part of the tragedy that can lead to successful suicide.
Hugs to you all
Jun 14, '08Thanks, NM. I won't lie to him. It would be a bad idea for many reasons, not the least of which is that kids talk, and he'll hear it from someone else if not from me.
Jun 15, '08nmsane
Of course you are right. May we never feel too depressed to
respond to therapeutic ways .