So....when would you just say enough is enough and leave?????

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Rural Health.

Here is the story in a nutshell. I graduated and took my 1st RN job in a Tele floor in Dec. I've worked there previously as a tech. I drive an hour and 20 mins. to work one way, I work nights and it's been really rough on me for multiple reasons. I'm scared to death to drive home most days because of how exhausted I am. I'm scared to death I'm going to hurt a patient because I'm tired, I can't think straight and I don't have the utmost concern from my coworkers at times (most of the time they are too busy talking trash about various other people, they don't have time to help). My orientation was cut short because of my previous experience on the floor, my manager continues to lie to me on a regular basis about everything, my co-workers are toxic and I really despise this floor the longer I work there. The only thing I like is my patients and I can't even give them decent care because I'm insanly busy. This is not at all what I thought it would be.

So last week, out of the clear blue, my previous job calls me back and offers me a full time position, I have worked there for 2 years now, which was basically all during NS. Orientation is awesome, clear cut and in writing and they are OK with my VERY limited experience as an RN. I can start whenever I'm ready. This job is 20 mins. from my house and the hours are perfect. I may have to work nights but that's OK, I'm 20 mins. from my front door to theirs. Worse case, if I'm too tired to drive home my husband can pick me up. My family is thrilled, I'm thrilled. All is good, until today.

So I tried to turn in my notice today. I am very recently off orientation (like 1 day recent), still on probation. I am the "extra" on all the shifts for the next 7 weeks. My manager tells me she requires 3 weeks. I try to explain that I don't feel comfortable to work effectively the next 3 weeks because of the drive, my toxic co-workers on nights, etc, I would rather just leave peacefully and without hurting anyone or loosing my license. She tells me no. So then I resort to begging her to let me go back to days to work (at least I feel safer in my driving during the day and they aren't toxic to me) and she tells me that isn't an option or at least one she is willing to consider at this moment in time. She then goes into the "lecture" about rehire, etc....

Basically I'm to the point where I don't think I can take it anymore. Because of our repeated conversations today, I got no sleep (she knew I had to work tonight and waited all day to return my call) so I had to call in tonight because I refuse to provide patient care with no sleep. Because I did that - I'm sure I'm on the "do not hire again list" already.

I guess I'm asking - what would you do? I've tried to explain to her my need to work closer to home, I'm still on probation, I've offered to work days for my notice. I feel I've done everything I can to make her understand and she doesn't and won't listen to me.

I'm not sure I care much about burning this bridge. My new facility, I'm already an employee so my manager can't hurt me there, I've worked there for 2 years, so I have a good history. I have no intention of ever driving 1 hour and 20 mins. to work again in my life, it's just to hard in nursing to do something crazy like that. If I ever decide to leave there are multiple facilities close to my house that are not affiliated with the place I'm trying to leave. HR tells me that they aren't allowed to release anything anymore except my dates of employement.

I'm scheduled again tomorrow night and I'm going to get some sleep and go in as planned but I would really like some advice as to what to do or say to my manager when I see her again.

Thank you!!!!

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You are not a slave. Unless you signed a contract you are not obligated to stay. Even if you signed a contract you might still have to a) get a lawyer or b) ask your new employer to wait. If you wait, you MUST rest even on your off days as much as possible. Don't let anyone or anything interrupt your rest. Just because the supervisor "requires a 3 week notice" does not mean she will get one. You ohave requirements too, and they begin with family and personal health.

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What is the actual policy regarding resignation notice? Just because the manager says something doesn't mean that it's so, check with HR and see what the actual notice requirement is. Also, I thought when someone is on probation either party can end the relationship at any time. What state are you in? If you are in a right to work state or at will employment state, either side can terminate the relationship at any time without any notice. I would have a discussion with HR and ask them what the actual policies are.

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I work in an employment at will state. I don't have to give any notice, and my employer doesn't have to give any notice. Find out what the law is in your state.

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I can understand that you do not want to burn bridges. That is the last thing we all want to do.

HOWEVER:

I do believe in CHOICES! Unless, you have signed a contract stating that you are to work there X amount of time - yada, yada, yada - I don't see where you are obligated to stay according to this so called managers mandate.

If she is not willing to budge at all (and no contract involved) - Point out how you were willing to give notice, willing to move to day shift & etc since they invested orientation time in you. However, since she is unwilling to NEGIOTIATE - well then, you have no other recourse to take other than to turn in your resignation.

It sounds like this other facility will work out better anyways.

I think it will all work out.

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Specializes in Rural Health.

No, I do not have a contract, I have taken no money from them, I was offered no sign on bonus, etc...... My PCS to RN PAR form just states that I would pay back $200 for my NCLEX review if I quit before my start date of Dec. 27th, which I didn't. Other than that statement, I have no other obligation to them.

I live in an "at will" workstate. I am on probation until March 27th. It was my understanding that during my probationary period, I could leave or they could ask me to leave, no questions asked, no notice, etc.....HOWEVER.....HR says I must give a 3 week notice in order to be eligible for rehire despite the fact I'm still on probation. I double checked on that today.

I used to be a manager of a rather intensive job that required 12+ weeks of training. I had lots of employees that left for various reasons and if they were still on probation (180 days there) I just let them go, no questions asked and most of the time with very min. notice. This is why I guess I am so frustrated. I've outlined my reasons and what I feel I could safely do for myself and my patients and she is not willing to budge. She says I'll be blacklisted from there and I'm to the point of saying....fine....then so be it - I'll be blacklisted. It's better than some of the other consequences I foresee happening if I stay there too much longer......

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There are two possibilities here regarding the potential black listing. A. they are serious about it. B. they are not. Given the current nursing shortage and given the fact that you are choosing to leave rather than that you were fired, I rather doubt they would stick to their guns if three years from now you went there and asked for a job. However, to be safe, if you want to be certain of being eligible for rehire at this facility it seems you would be better off giving them the three weeks. Just make sure you do get sufficient sleep so you are not at risk of having an accident on the way home. I did when I tried working the night shift as a new nurse and fell asleep behind the wheel on my 20 minute commute home. Thankfully neither I nor anyone else was injured. No other car was involved but I ran my car off the road. That was the end of the night shift for me.

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Specializes in Case Managemnt, Utilization Review.

If I were you and HR said I still need to give 3 weeks notice, I would tell the other job that I will be there in 3 weeks and 1 day. If you burn bridges now, you may be sorry later, if a great position comes along years from now at this facility, I would not want to risk it. If the old job called you, they will probably be willing to wait for you. Don't forget, by the time she blacklists you, you will have been gone for a number of years and the only stuff that can be included in your personel file is the # of latenesses/ tardiness and any evals. Best of luck to you!

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Specializes in Rural Health.

The new job will wait on me.....that is not the issue. It's also very flexible in the fact I can start tomorrow if I so desire.....so them I am not worried about.

Per my state law, I am not required to give notice as I work in an "at will" workstate - I just looked it up. Now, how that plays into the fact they can "blacklist" me, I do not know without contacting a lawyer.

I just re-read the HR policy tonight about my leave - it says 3 weeks. My manger however can allow me to leave w/o proper notice and it clearly states that right under my required leave time. I'm sure that was written in there for situations such as mine. Still on probabtion, just off orientation, etc.... Issue is....she refuses to allow me to leave w/o 3 weeks notice because that is just how she can be at times.

The whole situation has caused me much grief the last few days.

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"BURN BABY BURN" I would burn that bridge as fast as I built it. As long as your are fairly certain you will not ever want to go back there again. Where is your manger going to be when you are in an accident on the way home and hurt yourself or someone else? If the co workers really treat you that badly then they need to work short for 3 weeks, maybe give them some introspection. If it was your employer wanting to get rid of you during the orientation period I am sure they would not give you a three week notice. I don't think you have anything to loose by doing what you want. You want to leave you just need someone to say it is O.K. well it is O.K. I support your decision.

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Specializes in ER, ICU, Infusion, peds, informatics.

oh, i really feel your pain. i've been there.

here is my suggestion: go to work for your next scheduled shift, and see how it feels.

i have found that the knowledge that you are almost done can be enough to make the last few weeks bearable (the light at the end of the tunnel).

it can give you energy, improve your mood, and make it so you really don't care what your coworkers are/aren't doing. you'll be out of there soon!!

if it is still horrible, you don't feel like you can practice safely as a nurse, or you don't feel you are safe to drive home, then i would go back to your manager. tell her that you tried to work out your notice, but you arn't going to be able to do so, due to safety concerns.

just wanted to add:

i had a nursing job once that i quit because of my cowokers. i loved taking care of the patients, but i had serious issues with some of my coworkers. i found a new job, and gave my two week notice, in writing. in my resignation letter, i spelled out exactly when my last day would be. i even talked to my manager about my resignation, so i know it didn't get "missed." i didn't tell any of my coworkers about my resignation, though, because i didn't want a bunch of questions/comments about it. i managed to work out my two week notice (see above :) ), the end of which fell in the middle of a week. i was lying in bed the night that would have been my next scheduled shift, when the phone rings. it is the charge nurse, wanting to know where i am. i have a three patient assignment (this was icu), the unit is really busy and they are short staffed. did i oversleep? how quickly could i make it in? i know this probably sounds terrible, but it made me so happy to be able to say "um, no, i won't be coming in tonight. i don't work there anymore." still makes me smile to think about it.

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One of our nurse supvrs got in a bad accident traveling to a home one time. From what I heard her family insisted that she put herself first, so she never returned to nursing. Although I don't know if fatigue was a factor, I do know that she was traveling a dangerous route. Never make the mistake that your employers are going to consider your best interests. Even an individual mgr with good morals is usually with bound hands when it comes to most mgmt decisions concerning subordinates. In other words, they do what they get told to do. So you have to look out for yourself. Weigh everything. Then decide. If it were me, though, having read your other post, I would stick out the 3 wks and make sure they put "ok to rehire" in my folder. You can keep yourself awake at the wheel for 3 more wks.

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