shutting down my emotions...

[its_meee]

I am not a nurse...yet. I am still taking pre-reqs, but will apply to the nursing program next spring. I needed advice from those who are already nurses, hence the reason I'm posting here :) I grew up in a stressful environment and I learned at a very early age that shutting down my emotions was my way of coping. I still tend to do this in times of crisis. I always break down after the fact and in private. I was thinking that this emotional shut down could help in the nursing field, as I would be able to concentrate on the matter at hand instead of being distracted by my emotions, but could this also hinder me as well? Is it good that I'm able to seperate myself from the emotional aspect of treating someone during a trama? Is it common for nurses to be emotionally strong all day then break down after work? I'm not cold and uncaring, but can come off that way during stressful times... any thoughts??

[kiszi, RN]

In a way you do have to emotionally detach yourself from the patients and not become emotionally invested. You will find that a big thing that is stressed in nursing school is empathy vs. sympathy. A good nurse has empathy - that means you are able to understand what a patient or family member is feeling and why. Sympathy is what can cause problems. That is where you actually take on the emotions of your patients, and allow them to affect you personally. Too much of that can lead to burnout.

I too can compartmentalize emotions and get through a stressful shift without being affected, then have a good cry on the way home. Usually that has been due to stress more so than any individual situation, and it rarely happens now that I've been in the field several years.

Despite all this, you are human, and there will be situations that will affect you deeply. You will learn to feel the emotion, gain understanding, and move on.

[vhern246]

I had this instructor that I absolutely loved. I asked her a similiar question and she said, "Go to work and just do your job. Help when you can, know when you can't and don't ever keep it with you."

She went on to tell me that she's been a nurse for over 20 years and she still cries. She comes off as matter-of-fact and unemotional, but I think that's what happens when you go into a profession where you see people at there most vulnerable. You build this wall, this outer shell.

[nurskathy252]

When I interviewed for a job once I was told I was too cold! I guess they did not like my answer on how I deal with the death of a patient. I do not get all emmotional and cry...I am there for the family and that is not the time. I usally waited until I got home, then played a sad movie and cried. After you have been a nurse for awhile, you do detach yourself as it is much easier to deal with the critically ill or injured.

[Butterfliesnroses]

I work in a nursing home in which I am the only nurse on duty from 8:30 PM until 6 in the morning. This has really strengthened me as a person and a nurse. I've learned how to keep my emotions in check. I have 2 NACs and they often rely on me to be the strong one! One example was the other night me and 2 NACs were in the room with a resident when she passed. My 2 NACs were crying and had a really hard time because they'd never been in the room when a resident had passed away. I drew on my strength and gave them the emotional support then went to call the family, doctor, etc. Breaking down emotionally was NOT an option. With that said there are times that I do go home and ball my eyes out! So I really do think this could be a strength. You will learn to use it as a such with experience.

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

When I am dealing with a stressful situation I don't cry or get flustered. Sometimes I will even smile and comfort the patient. The moment I walk away and the situation is resolved, I break down.

One patient of mine died, during the code I was able to stay with her family members, be a comfort to them and I was able to play with the deceased patients' 4 year old granddaughter while the daughter and husband had their private moment. Once my boss and I got on the elevator to go back to the office, I cried. Alot. I cried for a little while and I finally managed to get my emotions under control. The moment I went home and I saw my mom I broke down.

Sometimes you have to draw on that inner strength and get past that situation. Like Butterfliesnroses said sometimes breaking down emotionally is not an option. You will do great! If someone calls you cold or uncaring, just pooh pooh them, they have no idea how you feel.

[its_meee]

Thank so much for your replys everyone :) You've made me feel that I'm not as abnormal as I thought, LOL. I love the empathy/sympathy post. I have empathy, yes I'm able to understand others turmoil and can comfort others. When my dad passed, my mother always called me her rock...that term actually started to bother me and I told her to stop calling me that because to me, a rock is cold and unfeeling. I actually had a friend call me after my dad's funeral and comment that she had never seen anyone not cry at their own father's funeral...she literally called me weird. But what she didn't know is that I cried my eyes out in private, a lot. My mother passed 4 years later, unexpectedly, and I was literally numb for hours after hearing the news. No tears, no emotions at all...of course the tears came later. I'm so odd :) I can sit through a sad movie and cry my eyes out, but when things happen to ME or around me I shut everything out.