I have a dilemma that I'm hoping you all can help me with. I have been an RN since May of last year. I went to nursing school only so that I could become a CNM. I apprentice with a home birth midwife and have always loved midwifery. I didn't think I'd like nursing, so I always planned to go right on after nursing school to become a CNM.
Fast forward to now. I got my ASN and enrolled in a one-year RN to BSN program, which I will complete this May. Now is the time to apply to CNM school, if I am going to start this fall. BUT, I have been working as a med-surg RN since I graduated and absolutely love my job. Sure, I complain about the staffing and the management and the doctors along with everyone else, but on the whole, I love it. I'm still apprenticing with the same midwife, and I enjoy that too, but I'd venture to say that I enjoy nursing more. I just don't know if it's worth it to spend the twenty thousand dollars and the two years to get a CNM, when I'm not so sure I want to do that anymore. For one, it's about the same pay as I make now, but with less flexibility. I love being able to work my twelve (or thirteen or fourteen
) hours and then go home. I've been on-call for two and a half years while apprenticing, and I don't enjoy it. Plus, I really enjoy working with multiple different health problems, and dealing with only low-risk OB just isn't as exciting to me anymore. I love the diversity of med-surg, especially on my unit since we get pediatrics as well. I have a feeling that even if I become a CNM, I'm going to just keep working as an RN at my current job anyway.
The thing is, if I ever want to do the CNM thing, the time is now. I am twenty years old, I'm still living at home, and I don't have any kids. Much as I don't want to get my CNM only to never use it, I also don't want to change my mind ten years down the road and end up trying to juggle kids, marriage, work, and graduate school on top of it.
And the other thing - I don't know how much my reluctance to go to graduate school is due to the fact that I'm just sick of school, period. I have been constantly in school since I was four years old, and frankly, I'm tired of it. But on the other hand, I always feel this way before I start a year of school - but then I always enjoy it, and I'm always glad I did it.
So what do you all think? Should I bite the bullet and just go for it? Or should I wait a few years? I just don't know what I want anymore. I've wanted to be a midwife for so long, and now I'm just not sure anymore.