Personal Dilemma...Need Advice (long)

  1. Hi everyone,
    I have a dilemma that I'm hoping you all can help me with. I have been an RN since May of last year. I went to nursing school only so that I could become a CNM. I apprentice with a home birth midwife and have always loved midwifery. I didn't think I'd like nursing, so I always planned to go right on after nursing school to become a CNM.

    Fast forward to now. I got my ASN and enrolled in a one-year RN to BSN program, which I will complete this May. Now is the time to apply to CNM school, if I am going to start this fall. BUT, I have been working as a med-surg RN since I graduated and absolutely love my job. Sure, I complain about the staffing and the management and the doctors along with everyone else, but on the whole, I love it. I'm still apprenticing with the same midwife, and I enjoy that too, but I'd venture to say that I enjoy nursing more. I just don't know if it's worth it to spend the twenty thousand dollars and the two years to get a CNM, when I'm not so sure I want to do that anymore. For one, it's about the same pay as I make now, but with less flexibility. I love being able to work my twelve (or thirteen or fourteen) hours and then go home. I've been on-call for two and a half years while apprenticing, and I don't enjoy it. Plus, I really enjoy working with multiple different health problems, and dealing with only low-risk OB just isn't as exciting to me anymore. I love the diversity of med-surg, especially on my unit since we get pediatrics as well. I have a feeling that even if I become a CNM, I'm going to just keep working as an RN at my current job anyway.

    The thing is, if I ever want to do the CNM thing, the time is now. I am twenty years old, I'm still living at home, and I don't have any kids. Much as I don't want to get my CNM only to never use it, I also don't want to change my mind ten years down the road and end up trying to juggle kids, marriage, work, and graduate school on top of it.

    And the other thing - I don't know how much my reluctance to go to graduate school is due to the fact that I'm just sick of school, period. I have been constantly in school since I was four years old, and frankly, I'm tired of it. But on the other hand, I always feel this way before I start a year of school - but then I always enjoy it, and I'm always glad I did it.

    So what do you all think? Should I bite the bullet and just go for it? Or should I wait a few years? I just don't know what I want anymore. I've wanted to be a midwife for so long, and now I'm just not sure anymore.
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  2. 7 Comments

  3. by   SCRN1
    I agree that now would be a perfect time for you to continue with school since you don't have the extras of also taking care of a family. But if you decide you need a break from school, it CAN be done with having kids. I know people who do it all the time and I was one of those. I went to a university right out of high school for something other than nursing, but later decided I truly wanted to be a nurse and started back to school when my youngest started 1st grade.
  4. by   Agnus
    Sounds like you arlready know the answer to this. If still in doubt look at you own post. Take it apart and list the pros and cons of midwifery on one side of a peice of paper and the pros and cons of nursing on the other and see if you can identify more clearly your feelings and desires. You already know what you want it shows here but you need to recognize it for yourself.
  5. by   tpsychnurse
    Quote from arizonanurse
    Hi everyone,
    I have a dilemma that I'm hoping you all can help me with. I have been an RN since May of last year. I went to nursing school only so that I could become a CNM. I apprentice with a home birth midwife and have always loved midwifery. I didn't think I'd like nursing, so I always planned to go right on after nursing school to become a CNM.

    Fast forward to now. I got my ASN and enrolled in a one-year RN to BSN program, which I will complete this May. Now is the time to apply to CNM school, if I am going to start this fall. BUT, I have been working as a med-surg RN since I graduated and absolutely love my job. Sure, I complain about the staffing and the management and the doctors along with everyone else, but on the whole, I love it. I'm still apprenticing with the same midwife, and I enjoy that too, but I'd venture to say that I enjoy nursing more. I just don't know if it's worth it to spend the twenty thousand dollars and the two years to get a CNM, when I'm not so sure I want to do that anymore. For one, it's about the same pay as I make now, but with less flexibility. I love being able to work my twelve (or thirteen or fourteen) hours and then go home. I've been on-call for two and a half years while apprenticing, and I don't enjoy it. Plus, I really enjoy working with multiple different health problems, and dealing with only low-risk OB just isn't as exciting to me anymore. I love the diversity of med-surg, especially on my unit since we get pediatrics as well. I have a feeling that even if I become a CNM, I'm going to just keep working as an RN at my current job anyway.

    The thing is, if I ever want to do the CNM thing, the time is now. I am twenty years old, I'm still living at home, and I don't have any kids. Much as I don't want to get my CNM only to never use it, I also don't want to change my mind ten years down the road and end up trying to juggle kids, marriage, work, and graduate school on top of it.

    And the other thing - I don't know how much my reluctance to go to graduate school is due to the fact that I'm just sick of school, period. I have been constantly in school since I was four years old, and frankly, I'm tired of it. But on the other hand, I always feel this way before I start a year of school - but then I always enjoy it, and I'm always glad I did it.

    So what do you all think? Should I bite the bullet and just go for it? Or should I wait a few years? I just don't know what I want anymore. I've wanted to be a midwife for so long, and now I'm just not sure anymore.
    I think you should should follow your heart. It seems obvious that you love what you are doing. And, I believe it is never to late to change direction if you feel the need to do so later.
  6. by   Lovely_RN
    It can't be the perfect time for you to go to CNM school....because you don't really want to go. I think it might be the most convinient time because you have minimal obligations but the perfect time? No, the perfect time is when your heart is into it and you are looking to get out of what you are currently doing.

    I think it's wonderful that you are enjoying your new career. Why force yourself to do something, and spend a serious chunk of money on it, if you don't really want to?

    My CNM received her RN in 1975 (that was the year I was born!) and did not become a CNM until 1996. She has a college aged daughter so there must have been a point where she had to juggle school and children. I am in nursing school right now and I have children. It was easier to go to college the first time around but right now is working out just fine.
  7. by   wildmountainchild
    You're only 20, you've got plenty of time. Take a break. Enjoy your work. Make a decision in a couple of years whether you want ot go back or not. It doesn't have to be for MW. You could go back for FNP, CM, or a MSN.

    Tons of options. The only variable is the time you need to give yourself to find out who you are. Being that you are 20, I would expect your career aspirations to change a few times before you settle in on one thing. It's impressive that you will have your BSN this young. Reward yourself w/ the benefits of good pay and some time to enjoy other things besides school.

    Like meeting the man that's going to father your future children, travelling, and just living outside of school for a while. You've earned it.
  8. by   NicoleRN07
    i think you should follow your heart! if you love your job and are happy, then stick with it....not everyone is lucky enough to have found a career that makes them happy........nursing is one of the greatest rewards of my life!
  9. by   AfloydRN
    I say finish school now- when you have a family it's so hard to find the time and money. You are young- go for it!

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