Patient Confessions

[gymnut]

Not too long ago I started a thread about what to say to patients who were anxious and depressed. I received a lot of great comments and advice but, I now ran into another issue tonight which has to do with the topic of this thread.

I went into this mans room and asked if he needed anything. He said he would like some ice water and juice and I got it for him. After I asked if he needed anything else he said yes, forgiveness. Naturally I asked what he wanted forgiveness for. He began to say that he was talking to the hospital chaplain and then started to go into his family life and some of his own. It was a pretty normal conversation until he mentioned that he did something really stupid back in the 70's and that's what he wanted forgiveness for. He said he tried to molest his daughter but stopped just in time. He then began to go on about how beautiful and smart this daughter was. I was just dumbfounded. The only thing that saved me was there was a fire drill at that moment and I had to leave to help close the doors.

I understand that working in the hospital you deal with all types including the most foul wastes of life but, they still need care. I just abhor child molesters and after hearing that I found it hard to care about anything that happened to this man. Now I don't want anyone to think that as a future RN if I ran into this situation again I would purposely cause harm to a patient with a twisted past because I wouldn't. I think I would just perform care without caring.

How do you handle patients like this if you know they committed horrible things? Have any patients confessed things to you that were unsettling?

P.S I would also like to give my deepest thanks to all who work with children and have to care for those who have suffered through things like molestation and abuse. How your hearts must ache some days.

[TiddlDwink]

I read many wonderful posts here! I am new and have not read all 30+ comments, but I'd like to say something. Think about ALL of your patients a moment. What do you really know about any of them? Does it matter to you that they have secret lives, ones that you may or may not agree with or choose to live for yourself? I like to leave the hard stuff to God. Treat all patients with respect and proper care regardless.

Absolutely agree.

My advice to the OP is to stay out of prison/jail nursing and mental health nursing, as well as (maybe) home health and hospice nursing.

[LCPHrn]

[/bFirst of all it is not your place to judge, so don't take on that responsibility. Your responsibility is to be a good nurse. Do that and then YOU will have a clear conscience]. Amen to that! You are probably taking care of all kinds of people who have done all kinds of things they have decided NOT to share, and you seem to not have a problem with them. You are not his counselor, you are not his judge nor jury. Get over it and move on with your shift. You have managed to now tell something about a resident I would guess he told you in confidence. And re; the other comment about sex offenders in LTC facilities getting their payback-that was just rude and ignorant. LTC facilities and the staff that work there are there because they love their residents. We are not doing it for the glitz, the glamor or the glory-we work there because we love our residents. Not all of us went into nursing to work in a hospital-and we can take care of our residents a hell of a lot better than in the hospital, where they are tied down because they tried to get out of bed, come home with pressure sores, and are usually in worse condition than when they left.

[linearthinker, DNP, RN]

I had to take care of some a$$hole that was a grand drgon of the KKK a few years ago. I had a very low opinion of him as a person, but in the end, he was just another patient I have to put up with for a short while and then get on with my life. I don't personalize my work.

[Luv2care0907]

I had another thought about this thread. Remember Josef Fritzl? Some very intuitive nurses in Austria felt those inner alarms and dug a little deeper and thank God that they did because the guy confessed, if I remember correctly, to them. But that was 24 years later. Now even though this guy is a monster, if you think about this for a minute, you can see a conscience buried deep within. Technically, he could have let that child die. In fact, he does do a few things to ease that burning conscience. He has to realize many times during that quarter of a century that he is abusing his daughter and incestual children. But how can he confess? Wouldn't that help his daughter in the short and long run? By the time this does come out, he is the most hated man on the planet and I wonder if there is a lot of hope for that poor girl and her abused incestual children, bless their hearts. There have been other cases of course like this like Jaycee Dugard.

This system has to change if we ever hope to help these victims. How many times was Josef or Philip Garrido seen by a medical professional during those years? Someone like him knows that to confess means utter ruin, instant loss of job and complete rejection by everyone. I am not even remotely suggesting that we try to sugar coat it like we do everything else. But somehow these people need to get help in a way that brings instant relief to the victims, some sort of separation from society that they can accept, and lots of prayer and counseling. In my mind, that would be a huge step in the right direction. It is obvious that nurses do not have ESP and this stuff is done in such a way that nobody knows but the victim. We need these people to confess.