Nurses EAT their own!!! Help!

[jaxnRN]

I am getting very depressed. I was working in a small OB office until last October. I worked with different women and we had our days but worked things out.

Well, I started at a hospital in October, (career change) and am working in OB. But, within the first 2 hours of work, I noticed something that might be the norm to some of you.

EVERY SINGLE nurse had something bad to say about another. Whether it was about her looks, her work, her anything!!! I didn't listen, as I always form my own opinions about everyone. But the problem is getting worse. It is almost like everyone is stabbing everyone else in the back. Little things, big things. I can't take it!!!!

If someone has a problem with me, I would rather they come to my face and tell me about it. I want EVEYRONE to just get along. I want us all to be NURSES, and be at our job for the patients. To stick together, to stick up for each other. The way that doctors do. But I am learning that nurses eat their own.

I don't know what to do. I interupt someone if they start talking negative about someone else. I don't listen and if I do hear it, I ignore it. I don't put in my 2 cents.

I know that I won't fix the world with this but does anyone have this as a major problem where they work??

I don't know who to trust. A nurse the other day told me to watch out for a couple of nurses who like to report things to administration. One of the nurses I THINK is my friend. BUt now I don't know.

I can't stand the phoniness in someone's actions when two minutes before they were talking really bad about that person. It's like junior high again and I hated junior high. It is another reason that I don't have too many women friends.....which is sad.

I don't know if I am being a victim of the problem but I would like to know, I think. I just don't know if I want to work somewhere like this. What do you think???????

[mario_ragucci]

Originally posted by askater11

I don't care what people think about me. I guess that's my problem.

I see me as other people see me, and thats my problem too. Our views are complimentary here :-)

[32yr_rn]

I have been a nurse for 30 years and this practice has gotten worse over the years. I often have to supervise the house at the hospital where I work and I am a nursing instructor. Nurses are very passive-aggressive people. We'd rather ***** and whine than deal with the problem assertively. I feel that you will set a good example and I hope the others begin to look at themselves more when they learn that not ALL nurses carry on this way. I have never worked in another profession, so I can only speak for nurses. Nurses are so transient now that strong relationships are rarely formed. Hang in there and hold on to your beliefs and don't let them drag you down with them. I am proud of you!!

[baseline]

I listen to my honey talk about the whiners and complainers at his place of employment......HE IS NOT A NURSE AND HE IS MOST DEFINETLY A MAN and this needs to stop being addressed as a nursing and female problem.

I have worked in other arenas other than nursing. Some PEOPLE are whiners and backstabbers, and some aren't.

[SmilingBluEyes]

THANK YOU BASELINE! ITA!

[OBNURSEHEATHER]

Allright, enlighten me. What does "ITA" mean?

[night owl]

I'm curious myself...

[Heather333]

Hmmm, this blonde doesn't know.

Heather

[emily_mom]

I totally agree = ITA

[shrinkyrn]

is it "I Too Agree?"

[OBNURSEHEATHER]

Originally posted by emily_mom

I totally agree = ITA

Ahhh.... thank you.

[sheric]

I have been through the same thing over and over again.

That is why I am in the process of starting my owm business because I can't take the way that a bunch of women work together. In my high school we didn't have these problems. You said what you had to say to the person, you fought, you went on with life. When you grow up I know you can't go around fighting, but people say things and then they becaome afraid because you call them on it. From what I have seen, the ones that talk behind other peoples back are couwards and if they were confronted they would deny what they have said and then attempt to get you fired or worse. The bad part about it is that you really can't get away from it. Sometimes we have to grin and bear things. Hopefully everything gets better for you.

[shrinkyrn]

I have been considered "harsh", b****, aggressive, mean, among other things. I used to speak my mind alot more. I am always on the fringes of the cliques, more an outtie than in innie. I agree with 32yr_rn above, the practice has gotten worse over the years. But, here's an interesting twist on all of this-- this is reflected, fostered and condoned in our society, generally. The whole reality TV thing, it's all back stabbing stuff from the first "Survivor", thru "Big Brother" etc. etc. etc. There are supervisors that foster this type of back stabbing, just so they know what is going on. There are staff who need to build themselves up in everyone else eyes, who in fact do this by tearing others down. This is pervasive in society. Think about "neighborhood gossip", the "keeping up with the jones". I didn't feel as paranoid about what I said or did when I first started working in nursing almost 30 yrs. ago (29 in june). I didn't feel so paranoid about alot 30 yrs ago--- and I suspect those of us who are older might agree on that feeling about things in general. As I read the selected passages from the Rachel Simmons book I thought OMG, I want to get this book and leave it on the unit where I work anonymously. I concur with previous posts that believe if you don't say anything you condone the bashing. Its kind of like "if your not part of the solution, you're part of the problem". I had thought that everyone was talking about me. Recently, I found out that rumors are being generated by one person who is so intimidated and jealous of me for some strange reason that she starts stuff!! A while back she had told me that "people are talking about you" blah, blah, blah. Now, I realize they're talking about me cause she started it. I'm playing this one out. I will catch her and confront her. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger!!! My mom always used to say "Don't worry about people talking about you, when they talk about you, they leave somebody else alone." Of course when you are the subject of the talk, that statement is not much consolation. :chuckle