My Very First Patients Funeral: A Thank You to Nursing Instructors

[malestudentnurse]

I almost declined because there were plenty of families available, and I didn't know if it was really my place until his wife told me that he had commented: "have Jeff carry me to my grave, I know he won't drop me."

I provided care for him twice a day 7 days a week for 4 and a half months. I know I gave him the best care I could but didn't really understand the impact I was having on not only my patient but the entire family.

Upon entering the funeral home I was greeted by the person after person that I had never seen. They all knew my name and thanked me for the wonderful care I gave their grandpa and uncle (depending on who I was talking to).

They referred to me as Jeff - Don's nurse. I attempted to tell them that I wasn't a nurse yet but after the third person told me I gave him better care than any nurse they ever saw, I accepted the title as "Dons nurse".

I was very gracious and did my best to remain professional. I admit I had gotten too emotionally involved with him as we had a lot in common, and he was my very first patient.

Don knew I was in nursing school and never hesitated to let me "practice" taking his blood pressure or fine tune my physical assessment skills. Through the weeks I watched him grow closer and closer to death, and it wasn't until the last week that he could no longer speak with me about the horses or the John Wayne movies that we would watch together.

The eulogy was beautiful and delivered by his daughter who I had met once at his 80th birthday party. She mentioned my name and commented that you couldn't talk to him without hearing how great Jeff was and how he was the only one that didn't hurt him.

He had a leg amputated due to diabetes and his other foot was severely necrotic. He also had a pressure sore that was close to a level 3 when I began caring for him. He required lots of turning and repositioning as he was unable to get out of bed. I was able to get it healed completely.

She spoke about how it was I who made his last days as enjoyable as they could be and they couldn't have asked for better care. I remind you this was in the middle of the eulogy!! Yeah, I cried, how could I not.

I didn't share this with you to tell you what a great nurse I think I am. I'm not even close to a nurse yet. Just wanted you to know that by teaching us how to care for others. You are caring for more people than one nurse ever could. Thank you

[skyandsydneysmom]

What a wonderful story! I know that it must have been difficult to say goodbye to him. My first funeral was about 3 years ago. I too became very close with my patient, sharing information about my life, my family, and my children. We became very close and when no one else could talk him into getting out of bed or taking a shower I was the one to do it. I always looked forward to seeing him and providing care for him. I discovered during this time that I was 2 months pregnant with my 2nd child. Because he was blind he could not see the progression of my pregnancy. I assured him that when the baby began to kick he could feel my abdomen. I wanted to share this very special moment in my life with him, a frail and forgotten grandpa. I will never forget the day that I reported to work and learned of his passing. It was sudden and somewhat unexpected considering he had no urgent medical problems at the time. The chaplain of the facility came to me and asked that I speak at the funeral. He said that the family would love to know how much I cared for him. I was an emotional basketcase and told the chaplain that I did not think I could do it but that I would attend the funeral. Once we were there he asked if anyone, family or friends, would like say a few words. Only one nephew went up and was brief as he was stricken with sadness. I knew I had to go and say something. I approached the pulpit and began to think of all of the encounters I had with him. I thought of the stories I heard, the laughs we had, the fact that he never did feel the baby kick. I could hardly get the first sentence out without bursting into tears. I cried in front of his entire family, a crazy hormonal pregnant woman. I told them how much I loved him and how sorry I was that he passed. I told them the story about how when the baby started to kick he was going to be able to feel it, even though he couldn't see it. I told them how sad I was that that did not happen. I then quickly left the service and went back to work. Later the chaplain thanked me for coming and told me that the family really appreciated me speaking.

It was in that moment that I realized where I belonged. It was hard for me to let go of him but I was very grateful for the time we had together. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I made his life better by caring for him. I feel like the time we spent together increased his quality of life while he was still here....that's all I need.

I happily meet and say goodbye to many elderly patients now. Every day I strive to bring a ray of sunshine into their life, even for a day. I take my children to visit them, and I take a moment to listen....that's really all they need. My calling is the elderly, and my first funeral brought me to it.

[I<3H2O, BSN, RN]

absolutely awesome story! Thank you for sharing!

[porcb21]

This was such a touching story. I have not yet gotten into nursing school, but I will be applying this semester. There are so many times when I feel like i'm not strong enough to complete the program. There are times when I feel that I just don't have the intelligence or strength to become a GOOD RN...but then I read things like this and it keeps pushing me toward my goal. I hear that when you become a nurse everyday you touch a life...and a life touches you...You are the prime example of this, and I can not wait to make a difference such as this. Thank you for reminding me why I want to become a nurse in the first place.