Most recent problem (VERY LONG) Also posted in first year

[JentheRN05, RN]

I was hoping for more feedback so I'm posting it here.

Okay, most of you know, I was on my second job, working on an ortho/neuro floor, nights. I loved the patients, hated the working nights. Been sick since I've been on nights.

Anyway - okay, lets go back about 1 month or so. I had my 3 month eval. It went wonderfully. Everyone had awesome things to say. I had to come up with 2 peer reviews. One I had worked with, one that had followed oh and one of myself.

I was given awesome compliments such as 'really cares about her patients' 'will make a wonderful nurse' 'patients have really said she's an awesome caring nurse' and so on. Also mentioned that I was well organized, and timely and that patients always came first. So basically a shiny beautiful eval. Only negative thing that was mentioned was that I seem to be anxious alot of the time. Which is true, but it doesn't affect my performance. I had been keeping in constant contact with my boss over the last month since the eval. I had been injured on the job 2 days before christmas, and I had not been well since I started on nights. I had probably emailed her 6-7 times with 'how soon will I adapt to nights (I had been on nights for 2 out of 3 months) because I am constantly sick, and on antibiotics. Will it ever get better?" As well as frequent correspondence about my back injury, and restrictions that were placed on me because of the injury. Having to weekly go see a Occ med doctor d/t the injury and frequently immediately following work. Her response was always very short and sweet. Something like "I hope you get to feeling better" after me asking when will I ever adapt to nights and stop being sick.

Anyway - things were just getting worse. I ended up with pink eye 3 weeks ago and just woke up with it the day I was supposed to work. You must be on antibiotics for 24 hours prior to returning to work with pink eye. So I had to call in. I was told not to work for about 3 days d/t my injury (2 of which days I wasn't scheduled) so I didn't collect points for those days. Just the one day with pink eye.

Then one day I after I was off for 1 full day and was on my second day off in a row I took my son to the doctor. They wanted blood tests run. So I went next door and as he sat in the chair, I told the phlebotomist, "ya know if you want I can do that for you." she said, are you a nurse? I said yes, but I was also a plebotomist a while back too. She went on to tell me about a job that was brought to her attention right next door. So after my son was finished, I went right over and talked to the nurse manager about the job. I wasn't dressed appropriately but I was dying to get off of nights so I did talk to her anyway. We sat down. She mentioned the office uses complimentary therapies in their work. I said, well thats awesome by me, I'm a holistic practitioner. She high fived me and said, 'girl let me make some phone calls, and we'll see if we can't get you in here." So I left. I heard from her that night, the owners wife (doctors wife) wanted to meet me right away. But I had to work nights the next night so I couldn't until the following week. Days went by, and I didn't hear from her. So I called her. She had just been too busy she to call so she and I came up with a date and time.

Went in on the predetermined date and time and met with the doctor, his wife and the nurse manager. Gave them my resume, filled out an application and gave them copies of my nursing license. They offered me a job on the spot, but only offering literally half what the hospital was paying me. And no benefits. I told her I'd have to think about it. The office manager followed me out the door and said, your disappointed with the pay aren't you? I said, well honestly, yes, that the pay they were offering wouldn't even cover my husbands insurance since I would lose insurance, but I told her I would think about it.

On the way home, I decided I just can't do that to my family so I decided I would turn her down. That was a Friday. By the end of the weekend, I had changed my mind. Thought well I'll work part time at the office and still do the nights to keep my insurance. This went on for 2 weeks. Days and nights.

I still was sick. During the first week I had bronchitis (on antibiotics) and a sinus infection (on antibiotics) I couldn't breath when I was at the hospital, and one of my patients picked up on me being so sick. She asked what was wrong and I told her, not to worry about me, that she was the patient and I am here to take care of her. She said, no really what's wrong, I know you aren't feeling well. So I went on to tell her of how I had been sick since I've been on nights, but not to worry, I am and have been on antibiotics since pretty much a week after being on nights so I am not contagious. She said, you really shouldn't be here if you are so miserable. I said, your right, I probably shouldn't be, but with me being miserable every time I come to work, well I wouldn't have a job. She was very sweet, none of this was taken as a hit on me for caring for her when I was sick, because she knew that although I was sick, I was on antibiotics and so safe for her.

Fast forward to the next night I was on.

Had a patient with terminal cancer. Did not have DNR orders and spoke to the family about them. Got the orders and was in the room every 15-20 checking on said patient because the family was very concerned. Now keep in mind I had 5 other patients on top of this patient, but because of the situation turning bad very fast (unbeknownst to the shift prior to me since his vitals hadn't been taken since midday and it was now 7pm) I had no problem following up with each and every families wish.

By this time, I was on restrictions, but I had the aides help me turn him, which the family was requesting every 30 minutes or so.

The next night I cared again for this patient. Everything was the same as the first night, checking him very frequently. I was becoming very close to the family and the family said I was the best nurse their father had had. Which I thought was very sweet and thanked them.

At the end of the shift, literally 6:30am. The family requested him to be turned again. I told them to please hang on a moment while I go find someone (as I had been doing for the last 2 days - because of my restrictions were no lifting over 10#'s and no bending, twisting turning stooping etc.). So I immediately went to seek out an aide. They were all (and I mean all) getting report. So I went and requested another nurse to help me, and they were busy charting and the charge nurse said "I guess he will just have to wait until next shift comes on"

I went back to the room, for the first time feeling defeated. But I came up with an idea. The patient was quite light d/t his advanced stage. So I went into the room, and told the family that 'since it's the end of shift and the aides are getting report I can't find anyone to help us, but if you can turn him, I will place pillows and we'll get this done together." the wife agreed. As I was finishing my sentence an aide walked in behind me and I noticed her there, I explained the situation (my restrictions and the wife offering to help) and asked the aide if she could help and we turned the patient.

Okay, I was off that day. 2 days later, I was back on, but was put at the other end. I wasn't too happy about it because, well the patient I had gotten so close to and his family were at the other end. But I didn't say anything. Took my assignment and went on with my work. About 11pm the majority of the family of my very sick patient came down and asked me why I was down at the opposite end from their dad. I said, well that's the assignment I was given. They asked me if I could change assignments with the nurse they currently had because that nurse was not nearly as good, or as nice and caring as I was. I said, well I wish I could, but honestly we can't change assignments mid shift. THey accepted that and asked if they could request me and when I would be on next. I said, possibly and told them when the next night I worked would be on.

Ended up with pink eye the next shift so was made to stay home. Next night on I had been lifted to 35# restriction, which obviously appeared to irritate the aides (even though since I had been there I was the ONLY nurse on the night shift who would answer any call light, even if it wasn't my patient, and would help the aides out whenever I could - was even told this by one of the aides).

Okay - so here I am working nights and days (of course not working the day after a shift or the day of a night shift on days) so all was okay, but I still wasn't getting better health wise.

Last week I am on call from 6-10pm. I get a call at 4pm saying I am on call, but they were 'on the bubble' of needing someone so I might get a call. I told them that was fine as long as they made the night shift perfectly clear that I could NOT work past 10pm (I had to work the next day). They said fine.

So I went about taking care of my very very sick son (asthmatic problems, near hospitalization serious). Ended up lying down with him in my bed since neither him, nor I had slept much the night before or that day. My hubby was gone for a little while (getting meds for our son). Came home and said I had a phone call from work. At about 7:40pm I returned the phone call (I guess they called between 7:20 and 7:30pm). They asked me to come in. I said, you do realize I live an hour away right? They said yes, I said you also realize I can't work past 10pm right? yes when can you get here? I said, well I'm not dressed so about 1 hour and 10 minutes. Which would be 8:50 before I could get there. I said is that really worth me driving 2 hours for an hour and 10 minutes worth of work? She said, well I really need you here. I said, well I'm sorry, I just cannot justify that.

Okay, so I know I was wrong there, I fully expected to recieve a point, a talking to or something along that line after that.

Well - THe next shift I went in on nights, all was fine. Went home went to sleep, got up for the next shift on nights. Went to work. Was assigned my patients. Went in to listen to report and was half way through report when my boss came and knocked on the door. Said she needs to talk to me before I get started. Fine I said, I figured heres where i get my reaming. Finished listening to report. Met her in the desk area. Where I overheard the secretary telling my boss that one of the day shift nurses could not come in for the night because she had her kids and her bf was coming over. My boss told her to call her back and tell her to have her bf come and watch the kids and come in and 'play'. Okay, I thought that was strange because we had enough nurses. Then it dawned on me, this is more than a reaming I'm getting. Uh-oh.

So I got in her office and sat down. She asked me to close the door. Okay, I did.

She went on to tell me she is very very concerned about my professional behavior recently. (I was getting written up!!!)

In the write up she cited that I

1. Refused to turn a patient and told the patient he would have to wait until next shift comes on (went on to tell me it was the patient I was taking care of that I was in his room every 15-20 minutes - remember that one?)

2. Told a patient I was too sick to be there.

3. refused to come in.

She went on to tell me that the patient that I supposedly refused to turn had requested that I NOT be their nurse again!?!?!?

What the heck? They specifically asked if they could request me.

2nd one was partly true, but the patient had picked up on it, and it was her that said I probably should be at home 'getting better'

3. well that was correct and I fully expected disaplinary action for that one.

Well - prior to going to work that very day, my husband as I was walking out the door said to me "if you quit this job (night job) we'll be okay, you have another job afterall"

After a close to screaming match about the accusation number 1 episode I told her I was fully prepared to quit. She said, so what does that mean? You giving me notice? You walking out tonight. What? Goes on to state that I had forged my application (I did NOT forge my application, I forgot the actual dates and forgot about a job I worked at for 2 days!!! - 4 years prior!) that I had quit that job without notice and that if I walked out on this job tonight I could guarantee that I would never get a job at this facility again.

I sat there quietly for a couple of moment and I reheard the voice in my head my husband said about quitting that job.

I said, you know what? If it wasn't for accusation number 1 I would probably give you notice, but you know what? I have another job, I don't care if I ever work here again. I carefully placed all of the info I had gathered to do my job on her desk. Cleaned out my locker, took my name off of everything in the area. And saw that day shift was still there. Sought out my charge nurse and told her I was leaving. (Basically covering my behind in case they wanted to do a abandonment charge on me) Everyone was there that it would take to care for the patients, and my boss was in the process of finding someone else already.

I am guessing she was planning on firing me. D/T the phone calls the secretary was making. The fact I had only been there 4 months was ringing in my head, so quitting was better than getting fired in my book.

In either case, I was covered and left.

Now I am at a job I love, they are trying to get me more pay (brand new office space so they are having a hard time financially right now) but even the doctor himself is pulling for me. I just hope they can pull it off.

Okay I have written the longest post I have ever written. Feel free to tell me thoughts, scream at me for the night I didn't go in for 1 hour and 10 minutes. Or whatever. I just wanted to put this out there so I can get a feel for what you all think.

I appreciate all the support I have gotten here. You guys are wonderful

__________________

[RNOTODAY, BSN, RN]

I was hoping for more feedback so I'm posting it here.

Okay, most of you know, I was on my second job, working on an ortho/neuro floor, nights. I loved the patients, hated the working nights. Been sick since I've been on nights.

Anyway - okay, lets go back about 1 month or so. I had my 3 month eval. It went wonderfully. Everyone had awesome things to say. I had to come up with 2 peer reviews. One I had worked with, one that had followed oh and one of myself.

I was given awesome compliments such as 'really cares about her patients' 'will make a wonderful nurse' 'patients have really said she's an awesome caring nurse' and so on. Also mentioned that I was well organized, and timely and that patients always came first. So basically a shiny beautiful eval. Only negative thing that was mentioned was that I seem to be anxious alot of the time. Which is true, but it doesn't affect my performance. I had been keeping in constant contact with my boss over the last month since the eval. I had been injured on the job 2 days before christmas, and I had not been well since I started on nights. I had probably emailed her 6-7 times with 'how soon will I adapt to nights (I had been on nights for 2 out of 3 months) because I am constantly sick, and on antibiotics. Will it ever get better?" As well as frequent correspondence about my back injury, and restrictions that were placed on me because of the injury. Having to weekly go see a Occ med doctor d/t the injury and frequently immediately following work. Her response was always very short and sweet. Something like "I hope you get to feeling better" after me asking when will I ever adapt to nights and stop being sick.

Anyway - things were just getting worse. I ended up with pink eye 3 weeks ago and just woke up with it the day I was supposed to work. You must be on antibiotics for 24 hours prior to returning to work with pink eye. So I had to call in. I was told not to work for about 3 days d/t my injury (2 of which days I wasn't scheduled) so I didn't collect points for those days. Just the one day with pink eye.

Then one day I after I was off for 1 full day and was on my second day off in a row I took my son to the doctor. They wanted blood tests run. So I went next door and as he sat in the chair, I told the phlebotomist, "ya know if you want I can do that for you." she said, are you a nurse? I said yes, but I was also a plebotomist a while back too. She went on to tell me about a job that was brought to her attention right next door. So after my son was finished, I went right over and talked to the nurse manager about the job. I wasn't dressed appropriately but I was dying to get off of nights so I did talk to her anyway. We sat down. She mentioned the office uses complimentary therapies in their work. I said, well thats awesome by me, I'm a holistic practitioner. She high fived me and said, 'girl let me make some phone calls, and we'll see if we can't get you in here." So I left. I heard from her that night, the owners wife (doctors wife) wanted to meet me right away. But I had to work nights the next night so I couldn't until the following week. Days went by, and I didn't hear from her. So I called her. She had just been too busy she to call so she and I came up with a date and time.

Went in on the predetermined date and time and met with the doctor, his wife and the nurse manager. Gave them my resume, filled out an application and gave them copies of my nursing license. They offered me a job on the spot, but only offering literally half what the hospital was paying me. And no benefits. I told her I'd have to think about it. The office manager followed me out the door and said, your disappointed with the pay aren't you? I said, well honestly, yes, that the pay they were offering wouldn't even cover my husbands insurance since I would lose insurance, but I told her I would think about it.

On the way home, I decided I just can't do that to my family so I decided I would turn her down. That was a Friday. By the end of the weekend, I had changed my mind. Thought well I'll work part time at the office and still do the nights to keep my insurance. This went on for 2 weeks. Days and nights.

I still was sick. During the first week I had bronchitis (on antibiotics) and a sinus infection (on antibiotics) I couldn't breath when I was at the hospital, and one of my patients picked up on me being so sick. She asked what was wrong and I told her, not to worry about me, that she was the patient and I am here to take care of her. She said, no really what's wrong, I know you aren't feeling well. So I went on to tell her of how I had been sick since I've been on nights, but not to worry, I am and have been on antibiotics since pretty much a week after being on nights so I am not contagious. She said, you really shouldn't be here if you are so miserable. I said, your right, I probably shouldn't be, but with me being miserable every time I come to work, well I wouldn't have a job. She was very sweet, none of this was taken as a hit on me for caring for her when I was sick, because she knew that although I was sick, I was on antibiotics and so safe for her.

Fast forward to the next night I was on.

Had a patient with terminal cancer. Did not have DNR orders and spoke to the family about them. Got the orders and was in the room every 15-20 checking on said patient because the family was very concerned. Now keep in mind I had 5 other patients on top of this patient, but because of the situation turning bad very fast (unbeknownst to the shift prior to me since his vitals hadn't been taken since midday and it was now 7pm) I had no problem following up with each and every families wish.

By this time, I was on restrictions, but I had the aides help me turn him, which the family was requesting every 30 minutes or so.

The next night I cared again for this patient. Everything was the same as the first night, checking him very frequently. I was becoming very close to the family and the family said I was the best nurse their father had had. Which I thought was very sweet and thanked them.

At the end of the shift, literally 6:30am. The family requested him to be turned again. I told them to please hang on a moment while I go find someone (as I had been doing for the last 2 days - because of my restrictions were no lifting over 10#'s and no bending, twisting turning stooping etc.). So I immediately went to seek out an aide. They were all (and I mean all) getting report. So I went and requested another nurse to help me, and they were busy charting and the charge nurse said "I guess he will just have to wait until next shift comes on"

I went back to the room, for the first time feeling defeated. But I came up with an idea. The patient was quite light d/t his advanced stage. So I went into the room, and told the family that 'since it's the end of shift and the aides are getting report I can't find anyone to help us, but if you can turn him, I will place pillows and we'll get this done together." the wife agreed. As I was finishing my sentence an aide walked in behind me and I noticed her there, I explained the situation (my restrictions and the wife offering to help) and asked the aide if she could help and we turned the patient.

Okay, I was off that day. 2 days later, I was back on, but was put at the other end. I wasn't too happy about it because, well the patient I had gotten so close to and his family were at the other end. But I didn't say anything. Took my assignment and went on with my work. About 11pm the majority of the family of my very sick patient came down and asked me why I was down at the opposite end from their dad. I said, well that's the assignment I was given. They asked me if I could change assignments with the nurse they currently had because that nurse was not nearly as good, or as nice and caring as I was. I said, well I wish I could, but honestly we can't change assignments mid shift. THey accepted that and asked if they could request me and when I would be on next. I said, possibly and told them when the next night I worked would be on.

Ended up with pink eye the next shift so was made to stay home. Next night on I had been lifted to 35# restriction, which obviously appeared to irritate the aides (even though since I had been there I was the ONLY nurse on the night shift who would answer any call light, even if it wasn't my patient, and would help the aides out whenever I could - was even told this by one of the aides).

Okay - so here I am working nights and days (of course not working the day after a shift or the day of a night shift on days) so all was okay, but I still wasn't getting better health wise.

Last week I am on call from 6-10pm. I get a call at 4pm saying I am on call, but they were 'on the bubble' of needing someone so I might get a call. I told them that was fine as long as they made the night shift perfectly clear that I could NOT work past 10pm (I had to work the next day). They said fine.

So I went about taking care of my very very sick son (asthmatic problems, near hospitalization serious). Ended up lying down with him in my bed since neither him, nor I had slept much the night before or that day. My hubby was gone for a little while (getting meds for our son). Came home and said I had a phone call from work. At about 7:40pm I returned the phone call (I guess they called between 7:20 and 7:30pm). They asked me to come in. I said, you do realize I live an hour away right? They said yes, I said you also realize I can't work past 10pm right? yes when can you get here? I said, well I'm not dressed so about 1 hour and 10 minutes. Which would be 8:50 before I could get there. I said is that really worth me driving 2 hours for an hour and 10 minutes worth of work? She said, well I really need you here. I said, well I'm sorry, I just cannot justify that.

Okay, so I know I was wrong there, I fully expected to recieve a point, a talking to or something along that line after that.

Well - THe next shift I went in on nights, all was fine. Went home went to sleep, got up for the next shift on nights. Went to work. Was assigned my patients. Went in to listen to report and was half way through report when my boss came and knocked on the door. Said she needs to talk to me before I get started. Fine I said, I figured heres where i get my reaming. Finished listening to report. Met her in the desk area. Where I overheard the secretary telling my boss that one of the day shift nurses could not come in for the night because she had her kids and her bf was coming over. My boss told her to call her back and tell her to have her bf come and watch the kids and come in and 'play'. Okay, I thought that was strange because we had enough nurses. Then it dawned on me, this is more than a reaming I'm getting. Uh-oh.

So I got in her office and sat down. She asked me to close the door. Okay, I did.

She went on to tell me she is very very concerned about my professional behavior recently. (I was getting written up!!!)

In the write up she cited that I

1. Refused to turn a patient and told the patient he would have to wait until next shift comes on (went on to tell me it was the patient I was taking care of that I was in his room every 15-20 minutes - remember that one?)

2. Told a patient I was too sick to be there.

3. refused to come in.

She went on to tell me that the patient that I supposedly refused to turn had requested that I NOT be their nurse again!?!?!?

What the heck? They specifically asked if they could request me.

2nd one was partly true, but the patient had picked up on it, and it was her that said I probably should be at home 'getting better'

3. well that was correct and I fully expected disaplinary action for that one.

Well - prior to going to work that very day, my husband as I was walking out the door said to me "if you quit this job (night job) we'll be okay, you have another job afterall"

After a close to screaming match about the accusation number 1 episode I told her I was fully prepared to quit. She said, so what does that mean? You giving me notice? You walking out tonight. What? Goes on to state that I had forged my application (I did NOT forge my application, I forgot the actual dates and forgot about a job I worked at for 2 days!!! - 4 years prior!) that I had quit that job without notice and that if I walked out on this job tonight I could guarantee that I would never get a job at this facility again.

I sat there quietly for a couple of moment and I reheard the voice in my head my husband said about quitting that job.

I said, you know what? If it wasn't for accusation number 1 I would probably give you notice, but you know what? I have another job, I don't care if I ever work here again. I carefully placed all of the info I had gathered to do my job on her desk. Cleaned out my locker, took my name off of everything in the area. And saw that day shift was still there. Sought out my charge nurse and told her I was leaving. (Basically covering my behind in case they wanted to do a abandonment charge on me) Everyone was there that it would take to care for the patients, and my boss was in the process of finding someone else already.

I am guessing she was planning on firing me. D/T the phone calls the secretary was making. The fact I had only been there 4 months was ringing in my head, so quitting was better than getting fired in my book.

In either case, I was covered and left.

Now I am at a job I love, they are trying to get me more pay (brand new office space so they are having a hard time financially right now) but even the doctor himself is pulling for me. I just hope they can pull it off.

Okay I have written the longest post I have ever written. Feel free to tell me thoughts, scream at me for the night I didn't go in for 1 hour and 10 minutes. Or whatever. I just wanted to put this out there so I can get a feel for what you all think.

I appreciate all the support I have gotten here. You guys are wonderful

__________________

WEll, I hope things are better now. First, I would like to say that I have been where you are. You have "issues" . stress. whatever you want to call it. When you are new, employers dont want to hear or deal with this. They will look for reasons to let you go, embelish existing issues, as you said that they did. Maybe this setting was not a good fit for you.... maybe working right now is not a good fit for you, you mentioned your son had health problems.... i dont know, only you can decide these things. All I know is that I have burned a couple important bridges in my short career due to not really being able to "dive in" and be a responsible employee. PLEASE dont take this as me saying you are not a good nurse or a responsible one. But when you are not well, as you have not been with all the health problems you mentioned, you simply cant take care of others. Its not good for YOU, your patients will be ok , because you make sure of it because you are a good nurse, but the patients dont go home with you and they dont take care of YOUR health, or your son, for that matter. Is this new position you have better? Are you still sick all the time? Maybe that setting is a better match for you. Sometimes hospital floors are just not right for everyone. Its not for me, thats for sure. I had one nurse mgr, educator and preceptor bring me in to a conference with them , and state to me that they were "worried about my health"... I had a really bad sinus infection, lasted for a while, but I worked through it.... my preceptor told them I was "looking tired all the time" even though my job performance was all fine and dandy. So I know what your going through. I was taken back by this meeting. But to be honest, I was at a time in my life where I had no business being in that intensive care area I was in. I did my best, and performed well, but it just put too much stress on my life at the time. So I left there.(asked to resign after calling out) I'm not saying this story is the same as yours, but I just wanted you to know I know where your coming from. How is the new job going? Keep us posted. Hang in there.

[DaFreak71]

I hope you continue to enjoy your new job!

I have had times in my life where even though I wanted to do something, the timing was off. I had issues going on in my life that prevented me from excelling at what it is I wanted to do. The fact that you were having problems with your health and the health of your son, it might not have been a good time in your life to be working nights (which it sounds like that put an extra strain on you). The fact that you lived so far away from work also factored heavily in your decision to not go in for 2 hours of work. The fact that you emailed your supervisor many times about not feeling well or wondering if/when you will ever adjust to nights probably didn't make him/her feel very confident in your abilities.

It really sounds like you had a run of very bad luck that might have been aggravated by some poor choices (working nights, working so far from home, not being a good time to focus on patient care considering your own problems, etc.). I am sure you've learned much from this trying time and I have every confidence that you will be a stronger person/nurse for having gone through this. Remember to put YOUR health and happiness FIRST (and your families too!) above a job. You can't care for someone as much as you want to when you aren't taking care of YOU.

Be good to yourself!

Adri