Military B.F./ Travel Nurse

bagladyrn, RN · Sep 28, 2012

Not a bad idea once he is in A school, but I wouldn't bother trying for a contract near him during basic. During basic he will not be able to see you, leave the post or even call you except during very limited specific times. Do try to make sure you are free (or off work) when he is scheduled for "Pass In Review" at the end of basic. If you are able to go (limited spaces) it is quite impressive!

Off your topic, try to write him frequently all during this time - it's really important to them, but don't send anything but a letter - other stuff gets them in trouble!

My son has been in the Navy for over 10 yrs. now and is making a career of it.

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Sep 29, 2012

Having done the military SO/spouse thing for 18+ years...I agree with badgladyrn. While he is in boot camp, forget about being able to see him. He will be too busy during the day and likely too tired at night. Plus boot camp is no walk in the park: he needs to focus on that and not have the stress and worry of whether he's spending enough time with you. Plus, YOU don't need to be stressed at him because you're not able to see him as much as you like, even though it won't be his fault.

Let him go and do this. Boot camp is not forever. Once he finishes that and gets stationed somewhere, then you can worry about joining him. That's when travel nursing will be your friend, although depending on how long the tour is (18-24 months is pretty common), you may find yourself able to get a more permanent job.

If you're worried about your relationship falling apart because of being separated during boot camp...I say this with all kindness, but this separation will be nothing compared to the ones you will have to endure as a military SO/spouse. Deployments are usually 6-12 months or even longer, and depending on the nature of the deployment, SOs/spouses are not always welcome to come along, even to just live in the same town. Especially in the Navy: it's not as though you can live on the ship he's deployed on.

If you are thinking about a long-term relationship with him, this is a reality that you have to keep in mind. It doesn't always spell the end of a relationship (look at me), but as long as he's in the Navy, it's a hard reality that you--and he--will have little to no control over.

Best of luck to the two of you!

Dee_RN · Oct 2, 2012

Thank you so much for responding! I plan to wait unil he is stationed before I make a commitment to any travel job. I'll have to google the "pass in review" because I have no idea what that is lol. And thanks for adding the comment about the letter! I was surely going to send pictures!

Dee_RN · Oct 2, 2012

Thanks so much, not that you purposely did but I find myself tearing up as I read this! I've gone through so many emotions this last week it's unbelievable! I know boot camp is very important and will teach him majority of the skills he needs. So I have come to accept 8 1/2 weeks of no communication. It's the what happens after I find myself worrying about. I had no general idea of how long they usually stay in one place so it's good to have a time frame now. I guess I was just thinking of the now, and not the future when it came to him being deployed. I guess that's another hurdle we will cross once it come about. Thank you so much for the knowledge and first hand experience! I'm going to start researching what are our options after boot camp lol if that's possible.

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Oct 2, 2012

Thanks so much, not that you purposely did but I find myself tearing up as I read this! I've gone through so many emotions this last week it's unbelievable! I know boot camp is very important and will teach him majority of the skills he needs. So I have come to accept 8 1/2 weeks of no communication. It's the what happens after I find myself worrying about. I had no general idea of how long they usually stay in one place so it's good to have a time frame now. I guess I was just thinking of the now, and not the future when it came to him being deployed. I guess that's another hurdle we will cross once it come about. Thank you so much for the knowledge and first hand experience! I'm going to start researching what are our options after boot camp lol if that's possible.

No prob. Too often I see young SO/spouses go into the military lifestyle thinking it's this "Officer and a Gentleman" romantic-type venture. Then the SO's upset because she (or he) never sees her soldier and can't understand why, while he (or she) is upset because it's not something he has control over and can't see why she doesn't get it. Not saying that's you and him...but it's something you should be aware of.

My better half has missed a lot: birthdays, anniversaries, the birth of our little one (though had the little one held out in utero for three more days we all would have been together for the birth), an entire year of the little one's life, lots of little events here and there...no, it's not easy. It's been rewarding but it's not easy. Most of my experience there wasn't e-mail and satellite phones--the only communication was letters and telegrams. Nowadays e-mail/sat phones make it a lot easier since it can increase contact from q 2-3 months to q week or even more frequently. Of course, boot camp is a whole other ball of wax :)

But like you said, you deal with the hurdles as you come across it. In a way, you do have to think about the now. You can't stress too much over what would/could happen in the future, because with the military, anything is possible...and on no notice to boot. You learn to plan life in 18-24 month increments while realizing it could change at any time. You will also learn a whole lot of independence...you will need to in order for both you and your relationship to survive for the long haul.

One other thing...whenever he gets stationed at his first command and you decide to join him, be sure to join the spouses' support groups in the area. Unfortunately, as far as the military is concerned, you only count if there's a marriage license involved: SOs, even fiancees, tend to be ignored as far as most official business goes. That's where the support groups come in as a valuable support system and resource for you, and almost all welcome SOs to join.