I'm feeling very lost in my career lately. I went into nursing for the right reasons, because I cared about people and I wanted to help make them better. But after 7 years of doing this I have become pretty cynical about people and a decreased respect for what passes as medicine today. I grow weary of butting my head up against the wall that is management. I'm tired of not having enough time to take good care of my patients. I'm tired of not having simple, concise, effective ways of charting in a computer. I'm tired of having to be responsible for tasks that really should belong to other departments....I mean if radiology can get the IV dye consent when the patient is an outpatient why can't they get it now that the patient is an inpatient?
Now I know that some of the issues I'm having is because I left a job that had a good charting system, people that cared, and a manager that worked hard to make processes efficient and effective, instead of just adding papers to CYA. So this job is getting to me more than it probably should just because I know it is possible to have good effective communication and team work among all staff members (pharmacy, radiology, nurses, MDs,). But even prior to quitting the lottery of all nursing positions I was starting to feel annoyed. I'm annoyed with giving up every other weekend of my life for a job that expects so much of me and gives me minimal in return. I'm annoyed that I'm so tired on my days off that I have a hard time doing what I need/want to do with/for my family. I'm annoyed with the feeling that I'm grossly underpaid for all the responsibilities I have. I'm also annoyed with working holidays and nights. You may say "Well this was something you knew was going to be part of the job." But I beg to differ. I knew it was going to be part of the job for a time, but I truly thought that at some point I would be able to work a position that would allow me to be home 'most' weekends, to work 'a couple' of holidays, and to have a somewhat normal day time schedule. I'm not a night person, it makes me sick, I hate it. Yet I'm still working every other weekend, despite changing jobs. That most job opportunities are on nights, which I can't stand. In short I don't feel very fulfilled by my career, more over I don't feel like I'm getting what I want out of life (kids, family, friends, to grow) because my job takes up so much of it.
I don't know what to do I've applied to office nurse positions but I haven't gotten any responses. Maybe it is because all of my experience is bedside or ER. I know I need to change something I just don't know what. And it's making me sad and affecting the care I give which makes me sadder.
