Lateral violence

[Newldrn]

This is a hot topic in the geographical area where I now reside....we'll keep that location under wraps for now:) I am an experienced nurse-jumped around specialties more than I would like to admit to. While I'm willing to accept my faults for what they are, I can't help but wonder if "lateral violence" could be a contributing factor? For me, my personality I hate the thought that I could be a "victim." BUT-I also feel like I might be a potential target. I graduated my nursing program as valedictorian, I welcome change and challenge current (often outdated) practices, and I don't always do what I'm told just because someone else says so....all this being said-I'm seriously contemplating leaving the nursing profession because it feels like I'm in high school all over again-btw-I'm too old for that! Just wanted to post and ask for support-I'm finally in the specialty I've always wanted, but now I'm not so sure...has anyone else overcome the whispers, being ignored and ostracized-and come out on the other side with a positive outcome?

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

I am curious how many jobs you have found this to be true in? Because I have to be honest....if it is more than one or two, it is more likely the problem is you, not them. Not in a sense of "you deserve it" but probably more in a sense of your perception of things. I don't know you, so I am not casting any stones...not at all. Just encouraging you to think about this for a bit, because the likelihood of EVERY job being that way is slim.

[mclennan, BSN, RN]

I used to be a rabble rouser, a pot stirrer, a boat rocker. In my previous career and for the first couple of years in nursing, I was just like you. I'm intellectual, a deeply critical thinker who has traveled the world and I had a real attitude. I thought everyone alienated me, I was always on the margins, and always dumbfounded no one wanted to embrace the changes I thought were so obvious. I spent a lot of time alone and disgusted with the profession as a whole. I went into nursing in my 30s & thought I had it all figured out.

I was always looking for flaws I could fix, or problems I could point out. At the time, I didn't realize it, but I was SEEKING negative ways to set myself apart.

After 7 years in various nursing specialties, and now hitting 40, I've changed tremendously. The real change that needed to happen was with ME. I climbed off my high horse, learned to pick my battles, accepted that there are many things in this biz that will never change, focused on the positives and my strengths, stopped whining about my co-workers & just joined the human race, for crying out loud. I landed in case management, at a desk, doing an easy job with a small team that's like family, a boss who's like a friend, in a stable company with good pay & benefits & a short commute. I have learned to appreciate having such luck in this economy. I got the heck out of the hospital, grew up and quit complaining. Sometimes, it's age and perspective that makes you realize it's YOU who needs to change, not the system or other people. If you count on those things to change to your liking your whole life, you are going to have a lifetime of disappointment, my friend. Trust me.

[multi10]

Newldrn,

The answer is "Yes." I have overcome the whispers, et al, and had a positive outcome. You are finally in the specialty you always wanted. That's a goal you set for yourself and you are there. Don't let others run you off.

[AJJKRN]

I have experienced lateral/horizontal violence! Just like high school if you tick off one of the popular girls already in the click then life is a bit of a rough ride for a while.

The good news for you though are two things...you already have experience and time is on your side.

Continue to do your job to the best of your ability, don't criticize others, openly accept "constructive criticism", don't negatively chim in when others are talking smack, and just wait it out.

Being the new kid on the block is hard sometimes but eventually you won't be the new kid on the block anymore and will gain respect and senority among your co-workers.

This goes especially so for working on a highly competitive hospital floor!!!

[Looking_for_sunshine]

I experienced ALL of the things you just listed!! In only 90 days as a new nurse!! I observed it as a tech and also as a CNA working in the hopsital environment. Now I am a RN with MSN and it's unbearable on the floor I worked at recently. I don't know if it happens just at bedside nursing, because I saw that behavior develop on its own with fellow nursing students. I have seen people who say, "I hate gossipy people" then they are the ones who gossip the most, and students who want to be nurses "because I care about people" are actually the schoolyard bullies in real life. I know it's bad to generalize but that is how I have experienced it this year, moving fwd as RN.

You know what-- I TOTALLY get the idea.

And I know for a fact that organizational culture has a lot to do with it. I worked at a hospital for a year as a transporter-- each floor different from the other, like night and day in regards to organizational culture. One floor would be like Siberia, cold shoulders everywhere, and the next people all smiling and practically dancing like a scene from Wizard of Oz. Don't give up hope, you will find that perfect floor, and good for you, the skills are there and the ability to learn quickly is in place, you will get there. Don't give up!