It's long, dangerous, but worth typing, to me!

jojotoo, RN · Oct 14, 2007

The patient with the brain tumor or cancer or Alzheimers? He/she is most always very appreciative, humble, pleasant even! Depressed, yes of course! But cooperative!

Just wondering, is the morbidly obese patient with a brain tumor or cancer ever appreciative, humble, or pleasant?

catnip · Oct 14, 2007

Dont feel bad about your feelings, thats what makes us who we are, its how we act that makes the difference. Perhaps a different area is what you need. The reasons you posted are why i work in LTC. I can take a demanding demented resident over a whiney young person, whatever their complaint, anyday. The elderly have lived long lives, and have earned the right to be who and what they are. I love helping them to do things that they can no longer do because it helps them keep living life to the best of their abilities. Give me a twenty something who is perfectly healthy and thinks i am there to be their personal maid, and im gonna be in big trouble due to my belief that we all should do as much as we can for our selves, not to make others do it for us because we dont want to. Take care of yourself, it is only healthy to vent, and remember, there are so many other areas to try if you find you need to change pace.

missrose · Oct 14, 2007

Just wondering, is the morbidly obese patient with a brain tumor or cancer ever appreciative, humble, or pleasant?

YES!! The patient who is not hospitalized by an afflicition of "choice" or lifestyle is appreciative of the care they receive! If a patient with a brain tumor happens to be obese, they aren't usually in the hospital because of their obesity, but because of their brain tumor.... you get it?

missrose · Oct 14, 2007

Dont feel bad about your feelings, thats what makes us who we are, its how we act that makes the difference. Perhaps a different area is what you need. The reasons you posted are why i work in LTC. I can take a demanding demented resident over a whiney young person, whatever their complaint, anyday. The elderly have lived long lives, and have earned the right to be who and what they are. I love helping them to do things that they can no longer do because it helps them keep living life to the best of their abilities. Give me a twenty something who is perfectly healthy and thinks i am there to be their personal maid, and im gonna be in big trouble due to my belief that we all should do as much as we can for our selves, not to make others do it for us because we dont want to. Take care of yourself, it is only healthy to vent, and remember, there are so many other areas to try if you find you need to change pace.

Thank you!! your words make perfect sense to my weary frustrated mind! :balloons:

onlyhope · Oct 14, 2007

what about the diseases that are a result of choices?

jojotoo, RN · Oct 14, 2007

YES!! The patient who is not hospitalized by an afflicition of "choice" or lifestyle is appreciative of the care they receive! If a patient with a brain tumor happens to be obese, they aren't usually in the hospital because of their obesity, but because of their brain tumor.... you get it?

I think that I "get it". You don't like to take care of patients that are hopitalized because of something that they have done by "choice". So does that include:

MVA trauma pt that has injuries R/T not wearing a seatbelt?

How about if he had a seatbelt on, but was foolish enough not to have chosen a car with airbags? How about if it only had front airbags and his injuries were from a side impact?

How about a 16yo football player with a C-spine inury? Even though he was wearing a helmet, he did choose to engage in a risky sport.

How about a young woman who has foolishly vacationed overseas and did not take her anti-malarial medication as prescribed, and now has - guess what - yep, she's got malaria. Maybe she should have chosen to visit Canada instead.

What about a police officer that gets shot in the line of duty? There are many, many safer occupations he could have chosen.

Would you want to take care of a nurse that has complications from HIV or Hep B that she contracted through a blood exposure from a patient? Surely she should have been careful.

Are these ridiculous examples? No, I don't think so. They are all about choices. Just as are obesity and addiction problems. Some are little choices and some are big choices. Some are easy choices and some are hard choices. And what may be an easy choice for you or me, may be a hard choice for someone else. Or vice versa.

I am 100% positive that I will never need a knee replacement because I blew out a knee playing basketball or from landing wrong while sky diving. These are not my activities of choice. Will I ever need one because I've stressed my joints from being overweight? I hope not, but I'm not as sure.

I guess I could understand (and agree with) your frustration a little bit more if your complaints were directed at specific patient behaviors than at specific patients.

nyapa, RN · Oct 14, 2007

what about the diseases that are a result of choices?

I think that is what the OP is talking about. Obese ppl for example are often diabetic with all the problems associated with that, not to mention other conditions.

How many of us have a normal BMI though? How many of us are smokers? How many of us eat healthily? How many ppl exercise? Look at the reasons we don't do this. Many ppl smoke because they tried it as kids, and now can't stop, and particularly smoke when they are stressed (I'm a nonsmoker, but watching family, I can see this). We don't eat healthily because we are so busy that often it is easier when we get home to get something quick. And who has the time to prepare lunch? Its easier to run down to the canteen. And usually the unhealthier foods are cheaper. Exercise - heck, don't we get enough at work?

I think ppl in the community have similar issues...

But...they don't have to care for the end results. And missrose, I really know exactly where you are coming from. I too get fed up; but my focus is more on ppl who expect you to run around after them to get them a cup of tea, or who think it is totally appropriate to yell at you, calling you every "lovely" name under the sun, and who think it is fine to throw things at you. I hate cringing when I go near certain ppl.

Vent on. It's not dangerous, its normal. I know I hate it when I go home feeling I havent done my work, not being able to spend time with those like the person with the brain tumour, who need total wholistic care. And you must be a good nurse, or you wouldn't be concerned about feeling inadequate

But you need to care for number one too. Otherwise, you will continue to burn out. It's a downward spiral. Find someone to talk to. I got to the point where I had to start on antidepressants. See a counsellor before this happens. No they have never walked in our shoes and have no idea what we experience (except maybe the behaviour problems).

But what they do do, and it is important, is:

1. Listen. And we deserve that.

2. Help us to identify what we observe are problems, and help us to see that maybe we are doing the best we can, or maybe that we are able to do something more

3. Help us to like ourselves, and help us to find ways to help ourselves, including finding our own strengths, and external support services.

We believe in wholistic care for our patients, so we should do the same for ourselves. (((Hugs)))

Grace Oz · Oct 14, 2007

I think that I "get it". You don't like to take care of patients that are hopitalized because of something that they have done by "choice". So does that include:
MVA trauma pt that has injuries R/T not wearing a seatbelt?
How about if he had a seatbelt on, but was foolish enough not to have chosen a car with airbags? How about if it only had front airbags and his injuries were from a side impact?
How about a 16yo football player with a C-spine inury? Even though he was wearing a helmet, he did choose to engage in a risky sport.
How about a young woman who has foolishly vacationed overseas and did not take her anti-malarial medication as prescribed, and now has - guess what - yep, she's got malaria. Maybe she should have chosen to visit Canada instead.
What about a police officer that gets shot in the line of duty? There are many, many safer occupations he could have chosen.
Would you want to take care of a nurse that has complications from HIV or Hep B that she contracted through a blood exposure from a patient? Surely she should have been careful.
Are these ridiculous examples? No, I don't think so. They are all about choices. Just as are obesity and addiction problems. Some are little choices and some are big choices. Some are easy choices and some are hard choices. And what may be an easy choice for you or me, may be a hard choice for someone else. Or vice versa.
I am 100% positive that I will never need a knee replacement because I blew out a knee playing basketball or from landing wrong while sky diving. These are not my activities of choice. Will I ever need one because I've stressed my joints from being overweight? I hope not, but I'm not as sure.
I guess I could understand (and agree with) your frustration a little bit more if your complaints were directed at specific patient behaviors than at specific patients.

With respect, I don't think you "got it" at all!

I think you've misread the original post and what the poster was trying to convey.

Grace Oz · Oct 14, 2007

I am posting this because I feel we need to get real!
I just realized today why I am suffering from nursing burnout. It's because the patient population has change so much in the past ten years. Ten years ago, I didn't have to deal with meth addicts EVERY DAY! Ten years ago, the meth patient was the rarity. Ten years ago, I didn't have to deal with morbidly obese patients EVERY DAY! It's not news... the data is out there: Americans are getting fatter and fatter every year! Why? What do these two types of patients have in common that frustrates me? BAD CHOICES! Morbidly obese patients are very difficult to take care of..... they can't move themselves in bed. (my back is killin' me!) They have infected wounds caused by their obesity. They suffer from diabetes which adds a whole 'nother list of complications (and time providing care). Meth addicts are just plain impossible to take care of! They want (and get) more morphine... because the LAW says if they say they're "in pain" we have to treat their pain..... even if they have no wounds or other obvious cause.... yet 10 minutes after they get their IV morphine, they want to go outside, dragging their IV pole on wheels, so they can have a cigarette. And I have to let them, because they have "rights"!! Yet their safety is my responsibility!! ?? I just don't get it. What about my rights as a professional and a responsible nurse?!
The guy down the hall with the brain tumor or colon cancer? He didn't CHOOSE to be sick! And yet I don't have adequate time to take care of him as I'd like or as he deserves because I'm too busy taking care of the whiney meth addict or the morbidly obese patient! I apologize for my brutal honesty.... but these patients belong on a psych unit because their diseases are psychologically base. I am not a psych nurse. I don't want to be a psych nurse. The patient with the brain tumor or cancer or Alzheimers? He/she is most always very appreciative, humble, pleasant even! Depressed, yes of course! But cooperative! But the addicts? Always demanding, whining, and often downright insatiable! No wonder there's a national nursing shortage!
Will I feel bad after posting this and re-reading what I've posted? NO I WILL NOT, because I have re-read it three times before clicking "post".... my back hurts and I am stressed out from another 12 hour shift of worrying if my patients are safe, comfortable, and well taken care of. That's the most important part of my job.... making sure my patients are safe and comfortable. Yet lately, I leave work feeling inadequate. I feel my SICK patients are being shorted by the overwhelming needs of my addicted patients... whether they are addicted to food or drugs. But how can I help them if they refuse to help themselves?? We need new parameters for caring for diseases that originate in the mind (choices) versus diseases that originate in the body (no choice).... even if those choices have deep roots such as background, lifestyle, lack of knowledge or awareness.... they must be addressed and repaired. And soon! (sigh! Just typing as fast as I'm thinking here, folks!) At least I still possess the compassion to care about finding a solution!! I haven't walked away from my chosen profession yet. I'd like to find a solution!!

I hear ya! (((((missrose)))))

You are but one human being. You can only do your best. And, the best you can do is; take care of YOU first!

Sounds as though you could do with a break and some time to R&R.

I wish you all the best.

2shihtzus · Oct 14, 2007

I so understand what the OP was trying to say and I agree. I am sick and tired of taking care of the obese people that come in, with their diabetes out of control, whining because they are placed on an 1800ADA diet, and mad at us because we have to enforce the hospitals no smoking policy. Additionally, I am tired of taking care of crack heads that that come in with chest pain, demanding morphine. Most of the time, these patients are demanding, whiny, unappreciative, and they suck the life out of you. Its no wonder we are getting burned out. It would be different if the 400lb CHF patient actually TRIED to do something about his/her weight, or actually TRIED to be compliant with their diabetes treament, but I have yet to see it....

And sometimes, the people that don't "get" what we are saying, are the ones that are a little overweight themselves, IMO.

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Oct 14, 2007

missrose, I heartily concur.