Intimidation and Threats in Nursing School

[Pianoforte]

Several weeks ago, I posted a new thread regarding diversity and cultural awareness (please see below). Well, I was threatened, again, by the same classmate. He reminded me, in front of approximately 20 of my classmates, that he threatened me before and that he, presumably, could fulfill those threats. Although I had reached my boiling point, I refrained from saying very much. Instead, I went to one of the initial instructors I approached the first time and she escorted me to the director's office. I met with the director, one of the school's security guards, and the director of the hospital's security department. According to the student handbook, intimidation and threats can be grounds for dismissal from the program. I don't want my classmate to be dismissed, but only because I would fear for my safety. The director met with my classmate the following day and she requested a follow-up meeting with me for Monday.

I would like to think it is highly unlikely that this student will intimidate or threaten me for the remainder of the program (end of June). However, I don't know what will happen when the program ends. What bothers me most is knowing (which I heard months before I was threatened) that the classmate carries a gun in his car.

I consulted a lawyer who specializes in gay and lesbian issues. She was very supportive and recommended several additional measures to ensure adequate documentation. I owe the healthcare system two years (in exchange for my education). Would it be unreasonable to ask them to cancel this committment so that I can pursue employment in another city?

Thank you for reading this message and I look forward to everyone's advice.

_____

First off, I passed peds/OB. I LOVED peds! I'm headed to my last clinical rotation, psychiatric nursing, on Monday. YEAH!

So, can anyone recommend hospital systems that are recognized for their diverse workforce and cultural awareness? I attend a diploma program in Pittsburgh and my classmates, GENERALLY SPEAKING, are incredibly narrow-minded. One of my classmates, widely known as a homophobe, racist, and sexist, recently threatened me because I am gay and, as a result, I had to have a meeting with him and the course coordinator. What bothers me more is that none of my classmates who heard our exchange came to my defense. The hospital where I completed my pediatrics rotation has a lot of Amish patients and we were advised to think twice before entering an elevator with several of them because we may be overwhelmed by their collective body odor. The same thing was said about Muslim patients. Did I mention that these sentiments were expressed by my instructor?!?!?! And she has a master's degree!

This, of course, is a perfect segue to my next thought: why do so many nurses with master's degrees know nothing about anything outside of nursing? Where are the nurses, advanced degree or not, who have more altruistic aspirations? Johns Hopkins? WHERE?

Well, thank you for listening to my rant! These experiences make me feel like a complete outsider in my nursing program and, as a result, I want nothing to do with the majority of my classmates.

[TennNurse]

OP:

You've gotten some good advice here.

From scary experience I know that it is important to leave a paper trail. Get a restraining order!!! Make sure the details of previous threats and carrying of concealed weapons is included in that paperwork. Make sure that someone ALWAYS knows where you are, even if you duck out of your house in your pajama pants for five minutes to run to the corner store for milk. When this cretin is served with the restraining order, the message will be clear that you have taken legal steps to protect yourself, and that further threats will not go unnoticed.

At the very least, if this dung pile actually graduates, anyone doing a halfa$$ background check will see the restraining order, and this is not exactly a ringing endorsement of one's character. Ideally, it will jolt this dolt into realizing that you are serious about not taking his crap and you will remain safe.

Take care of you, OK? You can never tell with these idiots how far they'll go.

[gonzo1, ASN, RN]

If the place that you will have the 2 year committment to work is affiliated with the school you may have recourse for terminating arrangement if threats are documented and proper authorities are aware of them. It is imperitive that you document all threats and who is present when they are made. Although the people present do not stick up for you at time threats are made, they are witnesses that can be called on by authorities as needed at a later date.

The advice I am giving is not legal advice as I am not qualified to give that, just good common sense. It is very important that you continue to notify school and law enforcement when threats are made. You need to check with the sites listed too to see what your other options are.

I am so sorry you are going through this and will pray that all turns out well for you. Please don't give up, we need diversity in nursing. There are lots of places where people are not as bigoted

[Selke]

You've gotten good advice here. Get a restraining order, get the courts or police involved with this. This guy is dangerous and unbalanced and needs to be kicked out of nursing school.

Have you considered contacting a LGBTI legal service -- like NCLR? Contact your local LGBT center and ask them. I think HRC takes cases. I would get your local center and a legal organization for LGBT rights involved. What this student is doing is a hate crime and might be prosecutable in your state or community. The instructor and school have problems, too, for accomodating this student.

When you graduate, have you thought about relocating to San Francisco? Or NYC? Get thee out of the northeast ... I highly recommend SFBA -- you will be among friends and will be welcomed and accepted. Nurses are highly respected out here by the general population, I think because of the AIDS epidemic -- RNs were/are on the front lines of this for over 25 years and have high visibility in the community. Being gay or lesbian isn't even an issue here. Many RNs, MDs, &c are LGBTI.

Good luck and keep us posted as to how this sad situation works out. Sending you big hugs!

[sinagbayan]

that person indeed does not deserve to be a nurse. you should assert yourself by reporting him to the police, get a restraining order and ensure that school authorities are duly informed of any more additional threats.

people like him have no place in the nursing profession. ours is a compassionate profession that respects individual idiosyncrasies.

good luck on your studies.

[Pianoforte]

Wow! Thank you ALL for your support! The lawyer I contacted works for a non-profit organization (with offices in both Pittsburgh and Philadelphia) that specializes in issues affecting women. As a lesbian, she also fights for the rights of the gay and lesbian community. She was very supportive.

After I met with the director, I had some other thoughts. Per one of the two instructors that I met with initially, she was made aware of the situation. I subsequently sent her (and the assistant director) an e-mail message that detailed, in general, that I had been subject to homophobic threats by a classmate. Shouldn't she have contacted me BEFORE it came to this?

I am 99% sure that this student won't be working in the same facility as I will. Wish me luck! I have class with this individual tomorrow at 8a. Again, thank you for your support.

[mammaoftwo]

If you are sending e-mails, please be sure and bcc yourself on these so you have proof that you have notified these people, and be sure to print them off. I would probably only send paper messages and keep plenty of copies for myself.

This guy sounds like a real jerk and should not become a nurse. I really hate to think of this person becoming a nurse. I can't imagine your classmates just standing by while this took place. I would have had to step in.

Let us know what happens.

[Pianoforte]

Sadly, this student acknowledged to the course coordinator that he said that he "wanted to punch a hole through my chest and hope that I die" and that "the emphasis was on me dying." He "didn't think anything about it" and attributed it to stress. I honestly don't think that the student will continue to intimidate or threaten me. However, in this day and age, do we really know how people will react? Between the director not moving on this information and my fear for my safety, I am tempted to pursue termination of my committment (and the cost of the education) and move to NYC, etc. (where I used to live).

[mammaoftwo]

And he hasn't been kicked out??

At my school, he would be history.

This is sick and yes in this day and time, I believe anyone is capable of anything and you have to take threats seriously.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

Blessings to you.

[Pianoforte]

Our student handbook explicitly states that both intimidation and threats are grounds for dismissal. As much as this student deserves to be dismissed from the program and barred from nursing, I don't want to feel THAT unsafe. We're eleven weeks from graduation and he'd have nothing to lose (relative to his education) is he was dismissed.

[tencat]

Darlin, it's time for a restraining order. And document, document, document. You have the right to stay safe and finish your education in peace. You have the right to ask to be separated from this creep for the rest of your education time. That way you're not demanding that he be removed from the program, but you're demanding to not have to deal with him anymore. This close to graduation I would imagine it wouldn't be that hard for the school to keep the two of you apart. And even if it is 'inconvenient' for the school and for him, tough crapiola. Your safety is the most important concern. Good luck.

[kanzi monkey]

Hey there,

I'm so sorry for all of your experiences. It's so ironic to me--my whole intention in becoming a nurse was to bring a sense of peace and well-being to vulnerable patients. Without those things, you can't develop the confidence to heal and grow emotionally, and physically. It's Maslow.

I can't believe that nurses, or nursing students couldn't see the absolute wrongness of their behavior. The one that's threatening you--he sounds like a psychopath. But everyone else who is supposed to support you--where are they? The issue of homophobia in this country is mind boggling. And in a way, your other experiences, with your teachers and such (the Amish/Muslim body odor thing), I think they've exposed a deeply xenophobic quality to both your program and your hospital. I mean, a nurse that's afraid of different kinds of people--that's just absurd.

As far as you're concerned, you, as a nurse (or future nurse) have a lot of options and mobility in this country--in the world for that matter. You will have the option to leave, if you don't have other things tying you down there. I always think about that, when I see some of the nasty ways people get treated here, I just want to go some place where that doesn't happen. However, the other side of the coin is that, those patients, be they Amish, Muslim, or GLBT (omg, how do your teachers address transgender people? I shudder to think...)--well, it seems they need to be protected from some of the 'nurses' in your institution. You could actually make a huge difference there.

But that depends on whether or not you want to martyr yourself.

Man, I'm sorry again for everything you're experiencing. I feel for you, and I wish you peace of mind, safety, health, and wonderful experiences in nursing.

-Kan

[Pianoforte]

Kan (and everyone else),

Thank you for your kind words of support. I would be lying to you if I didn't say that, at times, I wonder if these incidents are "much ado about nothing." I left a career in the performing arts to join the Peace Corps because of my sincere interest in helping others. That experience lead me to nursing school. If I were to pursue getting out of my contract in order to move back to New York, my classmate, in some regards, would have "won." At the same time, I have fought the good fight before and, well, it doesn't seem to matter. Interestingly, the head of security at the hospital was at my meeting with the director and he decided to remind me, without taking sides, that my classmate represents a cross-section of the community which I will serve. Need I say more?