I'm not really loving my job. (mild vent)

[sicushells, RN]

When I first started my job, I Loved it. I started out of school on a busy SICU. I thought all the things we did were so cool, and I loved being busy and talking to family members, and doing nice things for patients. But now that I've been there for a year, and I'm feeling more competitent at my job, I'm realizing I'm not very happy there. I kind of thought I was going through a stage that I'd get through, and some days are good, but most often I'm just exhausted and sad a lot. My patients rarely seem to appreciate my care (I think my most frequent compliment is, "oh my nurse today is so young and pretty", which isn't exactly something to complain about, but darn it, I am not here titrating your levo so you have something nice to look at.), the family members are weird, inappropriate, rude, and unappreciative, the doctors are either retarded residents who ask me the same irrelevant questions that... since i was SLEEPING when the patient coded at two am, I probably don't have the answer to, or are rude attendings who seem only to care about their own egos, and not about patient care/relevant research regarding patient care.

So now that I know how to be a nurse (I can push metoprolol while discussing home care with families, while fielding questions from doctors without breaking a sweat-which I never thought I'd be able to do)... how do I handle being a nurse? I feel myself turning into an appathetic whiny loser-nurse, which isn't why I became a nurse at all. I knew going into nursing that it would be hard work, and I don't mind when I get five minutes to eat in a twelve hour shift, and I never need to go to the bathroom because I haven't had anything to drink. Even that's happening less now that I'm better at all the little time-saving tricks. I feel like anymore I'm all hands and brains and no heart.

[Sue Damones]

Wow. I feel like I wrote that post myself. I can't tell you how much I know how you feel. I have been thinking the same exact thing! If you ever want a friend to talk to who knows how you feel PM me!

[sicushells, RN]

Thanks for the encouragement. I think maybe I'll try a different specialty/hospital at some point. I feel like all the frustrations I'm having are in every area of nursing though. I don't want to burn out and quit, and I can't think of any other career I'd rather have.

There's no easy answer in life though...

[llg, PhD, RN]

1. How much vacation time have you taken in the last few months?

2. Have you been to a major nursing conference?

3. How are you spending your time away from your job? Are you having fun with friends and/or family? Do you have outside activities that give you a well-balanced, high quality life?

4. How much exercise are you getting? How is your nutrition?

etc., etc., etc.

Most people have a "let down" peridically in their careers. That's understandable when you consider the amount of energy and focus you spent getting through school and making the transition to competent staff nurse. Now that you have "arrived," you suddenly find yourself without focus... without goals... etc. You ask yourself, "Is this all there is?"

It takes a while to start developing new goals and figuring out new long-term plans. In the meantime, do some of the things I asked about above. Use some of those stress-management strategies we all see now and then. In other words, stop and smell the roses along your way. Take care of yourself and let a new equilibrium develop.

As you begin to enjoy life in general again, go to a nursing conference or two ... browse through some good journals ... talk to people in advanced roles ... etc. and start to see what appeals to you on the career front. Let yourself develop a new, more mature identity as a nurse and see where that takes you.

[sicushells, RN]

Thanks, I really appreciate your advice. I think partly I'm still stuck in this martyrdom complex/savior thing, which obviously isn't working. I've been thinking about going to NTI, but maybe I'll try to find a conference sooner and closer to home.

[Ivanna_Nurse, BSN, RN]

Shells, Im martyring too. :) llg brought up some good points. Im here for an ear too if you need it. I started as a new grad in ICU, and see myself in your post in many aspects. My solution to my problem, (and probably not the right one!) was to switch it up and change from ICU to something else. I figure I can always go back, but I feel like I need to see what else there is. Hang in there, and you always have support here. ~Ivanna

[llg, PhD, RN]

Another suggestion is to take up a new role right where you work. For example, you could be a preceptor ... or charge nurse ... or serve on a committete ... etc. Doing some of these things can give you a chance to explore different aspects of nursing and what it takes to run a unit/hospital. It may also give you a chance to meet some of the other nurses in your hospital in a variety of roles. They in turn could be good resources for your exploration of your professional options.