Husband appaled when I chose to do nothing

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi everyone,

I'm more or less writing to see if anyone else here has had a similar situation.

When out with my hubby last weekend, we went to the movies and when we walked through the side hallway, a girl was sitting on the stairway with her head between her knees and leaning over. There was a young man there beside her and a security guard crouching in front of her with a walkietalkie. My first instinct was to see if she needed help but at the exact time I thought this, the security guard said "The ambulance is on its way." I later realized that what I did was a visual assessment. She was not bleeding profusely or anywhere I could see, she was not convulsing on the floor, nor was she unconscious or not breathing. If I was to take a stab at what the problem was, I would guess nausea or diabetic problems. Heck, she may have even been pregnant and had some bad popcorn! Overall, her condition was stable in my eyes.

Anywho, I walked by slowly to be sure I was sound in my decision and said to my hubby, "she'll be ok." We walked up the stairs and I noticed him look back again over his shoulder.

Later in the weekend, he told me that he was weirded out by me not stopping to help. I logically explained everything as I did above but he still didn't get it.

To his credit, he did say later "I can understand how you wouldn't want to be a nurse that night." Congratulations! :balloons: Bingo. :rolleyes: Now if any of the above criteria was present, I would have been there in an instant, assessing and intervening.

Anyone else been thought of as a superhero on duty 24/7?

As always, looking for another nurse to lean on.

JacelRN

Specializes in L & D; Postpartum.

"When the captain was unhappy to turn the plane around, because surely my colleague could take care of this unconscious-for-no-known-reason, no-relatives-or-friends-on-board, no-medical-history, no-equipment patient for the next seven hours!"

As the wife of one such captain, I can tell you the captain was THE MOST concerned person on board that aircraft. DH has been flying for almost 40 years (can you say retirement while you pray the retirement won't have been gutted by management?) and his stories tell a lot.

With such an emergency on board, the Captain has to communicate with MedLink and they decide together whether or not the flight will press on or turn back. Now, turning back involves lots of other problems, not just the medical situation on board. There's the matter of an aircraft that is fully loaded and will have to dump fuel before it can safely land. That procedure is not done at the push of a button since it must be done over water or over other areas where the population is sporifice if possible. It also is not something that is done quickly, because you're talking about thousands of pounds of fuel. This, of course, is a major expense to the airline and only one of the reasons why management will later try to make the captain the one solely responsible for having made the decision.

In addition, the management of that airline (doesn't matter which one, they'll all be fussing over it in the same way) will grill the captain over his decision, which ultimately is his, since he's the Pilot in Command. If he turns back, the management will pressure him to take the flight out again once the medical emergency is off-loaded, and it might take him over his legal flight time. Managements HATE to call in a reserve crew, so they'll wriggle any way they can to convince this crew it's still theirs to take. )Again, more expense to call in the reserve crew. Why do that when you've already got a crew on board, never mind that it may be illegal according to the FAR's for them to take the flight at this point.)

The other passengers won't all be very understanding and some will be downright nasty about the delay. Some will try to sue the airline for disrupting their flight.

The captain might even be called to task at a later time over this incident because management doesn't like a PA announcement he made (while he's making many very important decisions all at once. Those include the safely of not only the person having the medical problem, but up to 360 other people on board. This can result in a temporary grounding of the captain and even a loss of pay, then an appeal and all kinds of mental anguish over something that originally came from a professional just trying to do his job in the best way he knew how in the given situation. (The appeal was won, BTW and pay restored.) Ask how I know. My personal captain was grounded, not because he did what he and Med Link and a "qualified" (you have only their word for that) medical person on board decided together and pressed on. They were mid-way into a 5 hour flight and turning back would have gained no time whatsoever, and they were mid-Pacific. The company decided to slap his hands over a simple PA announcement made out of frustration and never once did he and his crew get any credit whatsoever for the way the medical emergency was handled. The PA announcement had no profanity but the company felt it was "inappropriate." For normal times, perhaps. Anyway, this particular management had been accused by other labor groups in the company that they were too soft on the pilot group, so they jumped on the chance to spank the No. 3 captain, make an example out of him. It kind of backfired on them, in that he used to be really willing to help them out in a pinch, but no longer.

In many ways, hospital management teams are just like airline management teams. They all go to the same school and learn the same nasty little tricks to keep the worker bees in their proper places.

My flight attendant friends have told me stories of in-flight ME's and while they are performing CPR, other passengers are actually trying to walk over them to get to the bar!

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Specializes in Utilization Management.
As the wife of one such captain, I can tell you the captain was THE MOST concerned person on board that aircraft. DH has been flying for almost 40 years (can you say retirement while you pray the retirement won't have been gutted by management?) and his stories tell a lot.

Wow, tntrn! I had NO idea it was like that, so thanks for posting. Doesn't seem to make sense that the captain should get in trouble for taking proper care of an emergency, does it.

I don't fly very often, but I'll keep your post in mind when I fly from now on.

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Many, many years ago, my (then) husband and I were on a flight to LasVegas. Over the intercom came the "Are there any Doctors or Nurses on board?" I slumped down in my seat and looked around me, there was one man sitting near me who said he was a Doctor. I listened as the stewardess explained that they thought one of the passengers was having a heart attack. The Doc told her "Well, do CPR, I'm not that kind of Doctor." She looked around and asked if there was any other medical personel aboard. I cautiously half-raised my hand, and said "I'm a Nurse...but I work labor and delivery." To make a long story short, the man survived through the efforts of me and the stewardess, and United Airlines sent me a nice Thank-You note and an umbrella. I never quite understood the umbrella gift...unless they meant it for me to CMA when on flights with a Doctor who wouldn't do anything. :rolleyes:

But to the OP, you did just the right thing...Visual assessment and stay out of the way.

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Many, many years ago, my (then) husband and I were on a flight to LasVegas. Over the intercom came the "Are there any Doctors or Nurses on board?" I slumped down in my seat and looked around me, there was one man sitting near me who said he was a Doctor. I listened as the stewardess explained that they thought one of the passengers was having a heart attack. The Doc told her "Well, do CPR, I'm not that kind of Doctor." She looked around and asked if there was any other medical personel aboard. I cautiously half-raised my hand, and said "I'm a Nurse...but I work labor and delivery." To make a long story short, the man survived through the efforts of me and the stewardess, and United Airlines sent me a nice Thank-You note and an umbrella. I never quite understood the umbrella gift...unless they meant it for me to CMA when on flights with a Doctor who wouldn't do anything. :rolleyes:

But to the OP, you did just the right thing...Visual assessment and stay out of the way.

I dont do much traveling anymore since i got married, but when i was single, i did a lot of traveling, especially to vegas, and told the airlines I was a nurse-medic, and always got 10-20% discount off my ticket. I wonder if this is still possible?

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Specializes in L & D; Postpartum.

" told the airlines I was a nurse-medic, and always got 10-20% discount off my ticket. I wonder if this is still possible?"

I seriously doubt it. Airlines fares are already so low that most of them do not cover the basic costs of the fuel, not to mention the labor costs. Still there are price wars. Of course, managements seem to think the remedy to that it to slash wages.

The public, and I'll admit to wanting to get the best deal I can, has come to expect a rock-bottom fare. I wonder if they ever connect that with the no-frills, no meals, no leg-room thing. Business deserve to make a reasonable profit. Most airlines are cutting their own throats by pricing their flights at levels they KNOW do not cover their costs.

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Anyone else been thought of as a superhero on duty 24/7?

As always, looking for another nurse to lean on.

JacelRN

Just a couple of weeks ago, my son and I were driving into town to run some errands. As we came to the corner outside of town, an SUV was stopped in the middle of the road in front of us, and a man was pulling a woman out of the vehicle. No other cars around. He dumped her unceremoniously at the side of the road and drove off. How could I not help her?

She was pretty scraped up, and her arm seemed to be troubling her, so we piled her into my car. She begged me not to call the police. Turns out they had been partying all night, and she was very drunk. I told her that I was a nurse at the local hospital, and I would take her somewhere safe, either to the hospital for asssessment, or her doctor's office. Long story short, we drove her to her parents' home, 30 miles away. It was an awful ride, she was all over my son, and at one point pulled out a bottle of gin and took a swig. I was tempted to pull her out of the car and leave her at the side of the road myself. The arm, by the way turned out to be fine, because she had no trouble using it to grab my son from the back seat.

When we told my husband the story later, he thought that I had been foolish, and should have stayed in the locked car, written down the licence plate (we did do that, although didn't call it in..she wasn't going to press charges, anyway) and wait at a safe distance for help to arrive. We live in a rural area in British Columbia, and even an ambulance would take at least 1/2 hour to arrive. I couldn't have left her lying on the road that long.

I don't know what the moral of this story is, but even though it didn't turn out very well, I still think I did the right thing.

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Anyone else been thought of as a superhero on duty 24/7?

As always, looking for another nurse to lean on.

JacelRN

Just a couple of weeks ago, my son and I were driving into town to run some errands. As we came to the corner outside of town, an SUV was stopped in the middle of the road in front of us, and a man was pulling a woman out of the vehicle. No other cars around. He dumped her unceremoniously at the side of the road and drove off. How could I not help her?

She was pretty scraped up, and her arm seemed to be troubling her, so we piled her into my car. She begged me not to call the police. Turns out they had been partying all night, and she was very drunk. I told her that I was a nurse at the local hospital, and I would take her somewhere safe, either to the hospital for asssessment, or her doctor's office. Long story short, we drove her to her parents' home, 30 miles away. It was an awful ride, she was all over my son, and at one point pulled out a bottle of gin and took a swig. I was tempted to pull her out of the car and leave her at the side of the road myself. The arm, by the way turned out to be fine, because she had no trouble using it to grab my son from the back seat.

When we told my husband the story later, he thought that I had been foolish, and should have stayed in the locked car, written down the licence plate (we did do that, although didn't call it in..she wasn't going to press charges, anyway) and wait at a safe distance for help to arrive. We live in a rural area in British Columbia, and even an ambulance would take at least 1/2 hour to arrive. I couldn't have left her lying on the road that long.

I don't know what the moral of this story is, but even though it didn't turn out very well, I still think I did the right thing.

You were very foolish in moving her off the ground, placing her in your car, and taking her to a nonmedical facility....

If she sustained any injury.........You are so liable.....The bad thing is, someone could tell her to fake an injury, to put you liable for her injuries. Just because your a nurse does not give you the training to treat pre-hospital injuries. also nurses cannot diagnose, and you taking her to her parents, you are diagnosis her as being injury free....You are lucky in this situation. Hopefully one of those professional suers dont get in touch with her, or your in a heap of ****.

Your husband is right, you should of called 911 and waited for assistance to arrive.....

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Dawnbee, you were overly kind likely to someone who did not deserve nor appreciate it. Always think of your own welfare first and be cautious..I've learned this after 50 yrs. She had a bottle in her purse, what if she had a knife? A drunk can be dangerous.

I agree with your DH and Bobnurse..you took a huge chance. In the future please call 911..its their job to take care of stuff like this, and its a sue happy world out there.

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