How far should the gossip go?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I'm discovering a whole new world on the day shift at the long-term care facility where I work. We have a male in the female dominated office. One of the females is recently divorced and people say she's on the prowl again (though she is past her prime and I certainly don't see anything to go after.) Apparently, there are rumors going around that she is after this male employee (who happens to be married). A little gossip can be fun but this gossip does not seem harmless and I can see how jobs can be lost over stuff like this. The nurses (especially) like to dig in, and I hear comments all the time. The newly single woman was in his office and he came out and got a hand wipe and when he was out of earshot one of the nurses said I don't even want to know where his hands have been!

Not very nice and no, I don't participate. But when would it be appropriate to bring this up? I feel like someone should let them know people are talking. I personally have not seen any evidence of an affair. This woman is naturally one of the flirty types but like I said, any looks she ever had have long faded and there is a whole sea of pretty young ladies if anyone was looking to do that sort of thing...

Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.

For more than a few nurses (and people in general) gossip is a coping mechanism. They dont have the back bone or assertiveness to approach people about issues so instead they talk about other stuff behind their backs. Your case seems no different......a number of nurses probably dont like one of the two office workers and wants to make life difficult for them.

I dont participate one way or the other. I dont try to be a hero and stop it either, I'm nobody's mother at work, its not my problem. If you confront people about it, sure enough you are on the other end of a few "rumors" yourself after awhile. When I was a male CNA, I can not tell you how many rumors about who I was with started. The nurses who expected too much from me, you know......the ones who are above walking a pt. to the BR and all......got told in a professional manner I was only going to help them as much as they helped themselves. No one had anything to say to me face to face, but OMG did the rumors about who I was dating rolled. I was gay and dating the charge nurse (a female) at the same time at one point.

Those nurses didnt get to me, and I did not do their work for them, whatever rumor was floating at the time. They quit, complained the unit was too "bussy" and the rumors stopped. Its that simple.

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.... I don't like to hear these people talked about because I like them.

Tell the people who are gossiping this ... it is straight forward and proactive.

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Well...it's the truth. It happens to everyone, so it isn't a personal attack, it was just one of the many points about why it's unlikely this employee would pursue this woman for an affair.

I'm going to stay out of it, but I don't like to hear these people talked about because I like them.

"People who live in glass houses shouldn't."

Dorothy Parker

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I suppose beauty is only skin means nothing, or beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Some of the most beautiful people are not married or paired up with another beautiful person. Some are mature enough to be attracted to the person and their mind.

Just had to add that point. (off topic)

That's true, but you know as well as I do that it rarely goes that way.

Most people are totally superficial.

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"People who live in glass houses shouldn't."

Dorothy Parker

LOL. I'm certainly not in a glass house.

I never had looks so there was nothing to lose. I guess I'm advantaged that way, lol.

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

You can say "I don't want to hear things like that" and let it go. Or, in reference to the hands remark, "that wasn't necessary". Sometimes just one person standing up and lettting others know it isn't appreciated is all it takes to stop things. Even if this particular gossip continues, they may stop around you. For all you know, others are bothered by it but don't say so, so that the gossiper just keeps spreading manure around thinking everyone is into it.

No, I'm not their mother, but I am there and I don't have to like it.

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LOL. I'm certainly not in a glass house.

I never had looks so there was nothing to lose. I guess I'm advantaged that way, lol.

I wasn't referring to your looks. Your unkind pronouncements about a co-worker's appearance, made by way of complaining about your co-workers' gossip, brought that quote to mind.

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I wasn't referring to your looks. Your unkind pronouncements about a co-worker's appearance, made by way of complaining about your co-workers' gossip, brought that quote to mind.

Oh, yes, certainly, I understand you now.

It's still the truth.

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Specializes in LTC/Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

Gossip should be stopped at all costs. It's hurtfulf to reputations, undermines a person's ability to do their job, and causes all sorts of problems in the work place. I try and re-direct these comments when ever I can:

-Um, I don't care what so-and-so said about x,y, or z

-Go answer the call light...

-Um, I'm not into gossip

-Fingers in ears "lalalalala, I can't hear you"

Stop it NOW

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