How did you balance a family and an Accelerated BSN program at the same time?

ITALY123 · Feb 13, 2010

It depends how young your children are. If they are young, they should be excited and you can make it seem like a new adventure! But if they are teens, watch out lol. They may blame you. Just be strong and reassure them that it is so you can give them a better future. It is a good opportunity for you to take advantage of. You are mom so your word is final. If you feel a move is best, then moving is what needs to happen. Hope it helps :monkeydance:

nvsmom · Feb 13, 2010

Yeah I just wanted to know...I am a single mom just to add to it. I live here in CA and it seems so hard to get into these programs, although I have faith I will get into one. But may have to relocate to Southern California (San Diego) and take my kids with me. They are still very young...ages 3 and 5. As far as $ goes, I'll have to take out a loan or some loans. I'm not worried about it b/c if that's what I need to get through it, then I'll have to request them.

My parents offered to take care of them while I finished a program, but living under my parent's roof (once again) they feel they have the final word on where I am supposed to go. I'm thankful they are helping, but feel like if I have to move out of state then that's what I have to do. I can see where they are coming from if they were contributing to my education financially...but it is not so.

I don't like the thought of not being able to physically interact with my kids and cook for them, help them with homework, etc. I guess my parents are being real negative about it. They say it will be impossible for me to successfully complete a program. That infuriated me and I thought about taking my kids with me..of course I would have to find a school that has before and after school care as well as a babysitter who can watch them while I may be in clinicals during the weekend or at night.

ITALY123 · Feb 13, 2010

where do you live now? there are plenty of bsn programs in your current area i bet that would enable you to stay put.

dudette10, MSN, RN · Feb 13, 2010

It's funny I should read this at THIS EXACT moment. As I was surveying the house--

the piles of kids' school papers to sift through,
the unpaid (but not late) bills,
the laundry overflowing,
the salt stains on the kitchen floor from the recent snow,
wondering exactly when I'm going to get one kid to the orthodontist to fix a broken bracket,
spying the purchased valentines that I forgot to prepare on time and remembering comforting the teary child because he was the ONLY one who didn't have valentines to give out (boy, did I feel guilty!)

I realized that all my days as a SAHM where I wasn't sure if I was accomplishing anything were just my feeling guilty about not working--completely not based in reality.

I also realized that I love my family and they show in myriad ways that they love me, and they'll forgive me for not being the housekeeper or efficient scheduler that I once was. All their needs, of course, are taken care of, including their emotional ones. That's most important. Everything else...can wait.:)

dudette10, MSN, RN · Feb 13, 2010

My parents offered to take care of them while I finished a program, but living under my parent's roof (once again) they feel they have the final word on where I am supposed to go. I'm thankful they are helping, but feel like if I have to move out of state then that's what I have to do. I can see where they are coming from if they were contributing to my education financially...but it is not so.
I don't like the thought of not being able to physically interact with my kids and cook for them, help them with homework, etc. I guess my parents are being real negative about it. They say it will be impossible for me to successfully complete a program. That infuriated me and I thought about taking my kids with me..of course I would have to find a school that has before and after school care as well as a babysitter who can watch them while I may be in clinicals during the weekend or at night.

Are you willing to rethink your parents offer? You are taking a lot on your plate as a single mom who works and who is going to school. There will be a financial burden of childcare that it seems your parents are willing to provide for free. You will also have the burden of your own rent that living with your parents will free you from (and if they do charge you rent, I would suspect it would be less than what you would pay alone). Also, will you be less stressed with your children in the care of your parents, rather than depending on a babysitter who may not always be reliable?

If you're all living with your parents, that doesn't mean you can't cook, help the older one with homework, etc. But, it will be easier to manage everything with two more adults to help. Just a thought. :)

nvsmom · Feb 13, 2010

where do you live now? there are plenty of bsn programs in your current area i bet that would enable you to stay put.

A lot of the public schools closed enrollment to applicants who already have a Bachelor's degree. :-/

nvsmom · Feb 13, 2010

Are you willing to rethink your parents offer? You are taking a lot on your plate as a single mom who works and who is going to school. There will be a financial burden of childcare that it seems your parents are willing to provide for free. You will also have the burden of your own rent that living with your parents will free you from (and if they do charge you rent, I would suspect it would be less than what you would pay alone). Also, will you be less stressed with your children in the care of your parents, rather than depending on a babysitter who may not always be reliable?
If you're all living with your parents, that doesn't mean you can't cook, help the older one with homework, etc. But, it will be easier to manage everything with two more adults to help. Just a thought. :)

Yes that's true. They are helping a lot right now...but the accelerated programs I'm looking into are mainly in Los Angeles or San Diego. We live 6-7 hours away.

chocokat79, BSN · Feb 13, 2010

Hi there, thought I'd butt in and share my experiences

When I started BSN here in the Philippines I was already married but we didn't have kids yet. Then after a year I got pregnant and stopped school. As a young stay at home mom I think I did just fine. Sure there were feeding bottles to wash every hour or so, cooking and preparing dinner before my hubby gets home while my baby stays in his stroller, Laundry, well-baby check-ups with the pedia, etc. I had a hard time but I managed. After a couple of years I decided to go back to school and then my big problems started. It was very difficult for me because it was like I had split personality. I had to be this good nursing student who wouldn't (couldn't) be late for classes and clinical placements, I had to submit NCPs on time, case studies needed to be done etc. And then when I get home I would transform into mom-wife mode and continue where I left off with my chores and responsibilities. And of course my tuition ate the most part of our monthly budget so I really had to make ends meet. It was a good thing we live a house away from my mom so she would watch over my son. But there were times when our clinical placements (hospital duties) were at night and so my son would spend the night at my moms but come back to our house during the daytime so I wouldn't get much sleep because I had to care for him and cook our meals and so on. It was a really hard time for us, not to mention the fact that my husband would come home at night equally stressed from his work at the office. So we agreed to hire a maid. It added to our monthly expense but we really needed to make our situation work because we knew that in the end it will be all worth it.

Now I'm done with my BSN and I'm an RN here in the Philippines. Of course my main goal is to work in the US that's why i took the NCLEX a couole of months ago and thank God I passed but that's a different story already. Anyway, my point is IF YOU THINK it's gonna be worth it in the end then just DO IT! Just always pray because it really helps. I'm not trying to be a goody-goody here or what, but prayers and our trust and love for each other are what made it possible for me to finish what I had to do. Maybe you can hire a nanny or leave them in daycare centers? I don't know how daycares work there so maybe you can scout the area where you plan to move and look for an apartment that's close to the school or center. I know what you mean when you said something about living with your parents, how they want to do things their way (I think that's what you meant) and that's what happened to me when we were still living with my in-laws. So we moved and i know how big a thing is moving/relocating to a place you're unfamiliar with. And I'm telling you it wont be easy because now you have to pay for your house or apartment and pay for the bills (that were before completely free) but in time you'll get used to being independent. I actually felt good to be liberated.

I know being a single mom might be the biggest problem for you because you and only you will be the breadwinner of your family, not to mention that you, as of now, are the only one taking care of your kids but if you say you can come up with loans then as early as now plan everything. Do an occular of the area where you'll go to school. Finding an apartment walking distance to your school won't be a bad idea either. And if you can talk to a relative, an aunt or cousin perhaps, who can stay with you while you study can also help. At least you can save in hiring a babysitter for your kids.

I'm sorry if my suggestions might seem different from your norms there but I hope I helped even just by citing my situation as an example. If having a BSN is really important to you because you think that it'll benefit you and your kids in the long-run then by all means continue. Just don't forget to cuddle and talk to your kids before their bedtime even if you can barely keep your eyes open because of sheer exhaustion. Always explain to them why mommy's going to school, that it's because you love them so much and it's for their future. You'll be surprised at how mature most of the kids are now for their age. Thanks for reading and God bless your family and your plans for the future!

izeofblu1973 · Feb 13, 2010

i dont have any children , but I had to work 40+ hours while going to school full time also. That was pretty hard, too. There were people in my class that worked (I dont think FT) and had kids! I always wondered how they did it , but they did. So it can be done. Take all the help you can get and remember that even if you are uncomfortable and things arent perfect for you right now, you are working towards a better life and it will be worth it in the end. Do what you gotta do for now and you will get the benefits later. Good luck and I hope it all goes as easy as possible for you :)

rodeynurse · Feb 13, 2010

I used to do my homework with the chidren when they were doing theirs. I brought my books to ball games, doctor appointments, and the beach. I got up at 2am when I needed quited time alone to do homework. My husband resented my attention toward my school work at the end. But, all is well now and I am working on my ANP.

Argo · Feb 13, 2010

I used to do my homework with the chidren when they were doing theirs. I brought my books to ball games, doctor appointments, and the beach. I got up at 2am when I needed quited time alone to do homework. My husband resented my attention toward my school work at the end. But, all is well now and I am working on my ANP.

I did the exact same except mine was an online program, do an online program and forget about going on campus. You will have homework but you will not have to leave for hours a day to go to school.... School is on your computer, whereever that may be.