Thank you all, so much, for your responses....it does help to know that I have somewhere to turn where folks understand how it feels when the rug is pulled out from under you.It hurts alot to be forcefully removed from your heart's work. I spent alot of time yesterday on AN; it does feel, like xtxrn said, good to be a part of a community of nurses, while being sidelined to the periphery for whatever reason.
Not dumping on my husband, but when I told him it was exactly one year ago I got fired and turned in, he had NO response. Not even a hug. I know he doesn't really understand why I can't just get a job and start earning again. Well, neither do I, except actually, I do understand. I experience it in my life every time I put in an application and get no interview calls. I understand it every time I come on AN and read how many are trying to hold their heads up and keep the faith, knowing their abilities and worth, while it seems like others (employers) don't.
My mother always said, 'when one door closes, another opens' and I know she is right, but I have been running up and down this hallway searching for that door, so far to no avail. I also do believe things happen for a reason; one of the reasons, I'm sure, was to remove me from that situation where it was three steps forward and four steps back! I do feel there is a place for me that will make better use of my strengths and abilities and time, where I can be effective and appreciated.
While I am searching and waiting, you all bouy me up so that I don't sink so far into the soup of depression and despair that I want to give up. Before I found AN, I really did consider saying 'screw it', and giving up my nursing license. But the dedication and love of others for this work we do made me understand that one #*^%@!#% facility and those administrators do not really KNOW me, nor should they be allowed to negate 40 years-worth of success.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers,hugs, words of wisdom, information, and for just being there to share
bad times and
good times(.....and especially for your HUMOR