Good Bye to Nursing for me... - page 7
Well, the start of a new year and I'm kissing nursing good bye after only 5 short months. I graduated in may and started at a hospital in august. My very first preceptor was a nightmare, on my... Read More
Jan 4, '07Hello everyone! After reading some of the posts all I can say is do what you believe will make you feel happy... Life is too short to be miserable! But the thing about human nature is that we never get contented...
Oh and regarding your experiences with your preceptors I think these situations doesn't only happen in nursing... You see you have to be thankful in all the things you learn in life because you realize you're becoming a better person... Consider these as challenges there are two possible outcomes you quit(which doesn't affect your preceptor) or you glide go with the current and stay focused(then you can say to yourself I did it!)...And before you know it your so good at what you're doing that you're enjoying it , it become a part of your system...
Jan 5, '07Everytime I see this thread now, I think of the line "Goodbye cruel world!". It strikes me as melodramatic actually. Say, not to change the subject, but did anyone watch the Saddam execution video?
Jan 5, '07Quote from gardendove[font="comic sans ms"]it strikes me that way, too. it amazes me, though, that someone who quit three jobs in six months seems to believe that her problems are everyone else's fault. (and that there are so many members willing to go along with that theory.) i'm not blaming the victim here, but surely she should at least take a look at her own contributions to the problems she was having!everytime i see this thread now, i think of the line "goodbye cruel world!". it strikes me as melodramatic actually. ?
Jan 5, '07Quote from GromitI agree that the hospitals probably don't always encourage it intentionally ... although I do think some of it trickles down from management in one form or another. And I understand what you're saying here about the income problem at many hospitals.I sincerely doubt that "hospitals allow" or even encourage the sometimes nasty behavior that nurses are having toward new nurses. Lets be a little more realistic (if not reasonable) here. Its ENTIRELY an attitude problem, and can stem from a number of different reasons. Think about it for a minute.
Older nurses (depending on how many years ago they started) started with a paltry wage by comparrison to what a new nurse (RN or LPN) starts with today. They also were not allowed to have the range or flexibility of todays nurses -what they were allowed to do years ago is by comparrison 'nothing' compared to what we can do today. They had far less respect than we get today, and were viewed (depending on how far back you wish to go) as far less necessary or integral to the well-being of the patient.
What you get then, is (either intended or not) resentment toward the newer nurses who have (by comparrison) a phenominally better starting wage, and in most cases far better working conditions than THEY started with -and it took them years to get what we essentially start out with. If you don't think that this can build resentment, then you aren't being very realistic when it comes to human behavior.
I have heard older RNs comment how the 'new ones' seem to have ever-increasing starting wages, but 'their (older ones)' wages didn't go up by the same ammount.
I won't say that its 'right' for the bad behavior to continue- because (of course) its not right. And it IS self-perpetuating. Those who were treated badly, will likely (and may not even realise it) do the same to the 'new guys' when (they) become the 'old crew' (much the same as an abused child will in turn have greater odds of growing up to be an abuser).
Seeing some of you actually try to reason that a hospital would encourage this behavior because of the silly notion that it would distract the nurses from how the hospital treats them is just silly, flies in the face of reason, and is downright paranoid.
But I had a nightmare preceptor at a union hospital where the veteran nurses did make great money in comparision to new grads. In that case, you made a lot more money if you had a lot more experience and everybody's pay and working conditions were negotiated by union contract.
So income wasn't an excuse to treat new grads badly in that case. The fact is: my preceptor was a witch because she wanted to be.
:typingLast edit by Sheri257 on Jan 5, '07
Jan 5, '07As a new grad who's worked as a student extern for the last two years, I've already gotten a taste of toxic environments. On the other hand, I was able to find a great job where toxicity wasn't a problem. Unfortunately, I just can't work for them since I need a pension and they just cut pension benefits for new hires ..
So ... my next job is going to be with the state. There are at least four different facilities and dozens of units I can transfer to if I run into the toxicity problem again, without losing my benefits. That way, I won't have to feel like I need to quit nursing. I'll just keep moving until I find home.
It's weird that as a new grad, I feel I have to plan my career this way but ... I'm just being realistic.
Jan 5, '07After the birth of the baby, and some much needed time for reflection, consider another avenue of nursing. I would definitely keep up the license...heck, you earned it! Best wishes!
Jan 5, '07Quote from ruby veethat's also a very good point. none of us are flawless and us new grads also have to take responsibility for our mistakes which, for me at least, are many. i am far from perfect, that's for sure.[font="comic sans ms"]it strikes me that way, too. it amazes me, though, that someone who quit three jobs in six months seems to believe that her problems are everyone else's fault. (and that there are so many members willing to go along with that theory.) i'm not blaming the victim here, but surely she should at least take a look at her own contributions to the problems she was having!
:typingLast edit by Sheri257 on Jan 5, '07
Jan 5, '07In response to Goodbye to Nursing for me.. It seems like a lot of people think we stay in it cause its a challenge and we like a challenge and that sort of thing. My own take on it is that speaking formyself and mnay of my friends. when we initially got into nursing we thought we'd be little Florence Nightengales, helping poor sick people get well, comforting them, feel as though we'd be making a difference and contributing to the well being of our fellow man. What it actually turns out to be is quite different than that. Of course once, you've invested the time, energy, and money to train to be a nurse, and you start getting a little bit of experience, you feel as though you absolutely can't just "leave" furthermore, we make life choices based on our incomes that we depend on from nursing. It's not a fortune but its better than a lot of other jobs out there, and lets face it, we all need the money. We then fall into the trap of thinking someho we're not "good enough" or "fast enough" or patient enough, and start running our own selves down from there. Lots of us that go into the field tend to be co-dependant personalitites who try to fix ourselves by focusing on fixing others. The rewards of gratitude from our supervisors, fellow coworkers, patients, families etc. it usually not readily forthcoming, so we push ourselves even harder chasing that carrot of recognition and appreciation. However after a time we slowly realize that no matter what we do enough is just never enough. We learn that "everything" is our fault. Even if what is expected of us isn't even humanly possible. But they persist in putting the guilt trips on us anyway, (us being women and known to be nurturers) They manipulate us, denigrate us, and if we do get hurt on the job, it's usually met with annoyance and attitude as to how it must be "our fault" that we got hurt. We aren'tallowed any of the common courtesies enjoyed by many other jobs or professions such as "are you feeling any better?", its usually "when will you be back to work again, because of YOU, the floor is running short, patient care is suffereing". Sorry folks, but we need to stand united as a group and demand some respect and dignity for all the hours of hard emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual work that is required of us. And YES they do expect us to be nothing short of PERFECT. Hey, we're only poor human beings doing the best we can with the best of intentions trying to do a good job and make a living at it, and how many times is it thrown in our face about, "you could be wriitten up for this", You could lose your job for this, or my special favorite "This could MEAN your license". Running us and running us to the ground like scared little rabbits. Again, where's our respect? where's our dignity....
Jan 5, '07Well, each of us has entered for our own reasons -and somewhere there is a thread that addresses that exact topic -and I gave up keeping up with it some time ago, but the reasons behind each persons' desire to enter this field were varied to a remarkable degree -sure, many entered for the same reason as well, but it was kind of amazing to see how diverse a background each of us seemed to have, who were entering.
As for being amazed at how many were 'buying into' the story of the person who started the thread, it should also be amazing about how many of us seem to be able to relate to some of the horror stories that this person is giving as the reason for quitting the profession.
Jan 5, '07i have a friend that lasted less than a year in nursing. she blamed the nursing profession as a whole saying that all nurses were evil people who intentionally tried to make her life miserable. well, 5 years after she left the nursing profession, she still can't keep a job, she bounces from one thing to the next. all of her other "careers" were in corporate, business and a few others. she finally married a guy who makes alot of money so she can stay at home. she admits that the bottom line is that she really does not want to work or work hard. she simply got a degree so that her parents would not be dissapointed about all the money they put up for her college education. the point i am making here is that it's OK not to like the career you chose, just take some time to reflect if you contributed in any way. it will help you make wiser decisions in the future.
Jan 6, '07Aye, and then there are those folks in life like you just described. Personally, I pity them. How can one truly be happy or live a 'fulfilled' life if they have no self-worth of their own? They are truly a 'kept' person.
Perhaps thats enough for some, but for me, that would never do. -Though I certainly wouldn't mind being independantly wealthy
Jan 6, '07my new years resolution many years ago was that i was no longer going to put up with anyone being nasty to me or my co-workers...doctors, other co-workers, patients...i'm not talking about people being snappy during stressful situations i'm referring to people who bully and belittle others on purpose. my new motto is from the movie thelma and louise "you get what you settle for" . these personality types are bullies and they single out people least likely to defend themselves. i often function as the trauma/float nurse and am expected to help everyone .if i am present when any type of verbal abuse occurs i make it my business...i am polite but very firm.
recently a doctor who has a reputation for being difficult (especially to new nurses) was nasty on the phone was being verbally abusive to a new nurse (near tears). she was trying repeatedly to tell this doctor that his patient was not doing well and i could tell he was being hateful...i interupted the nurse, took the phone and explained that "liz" was going on break and i would be taking care of her patients. i said i understand liz has explained her concerns to you and i need to know what you want me to do...when he started berating me i said "we have called you because we have concerns and there has been a change in your patients condition, i will be glad to take additional orders from you but i will not be yelled at because i am trying to do what is best for your patient...if you continue i am going to hang up," he continued , i again stated that i was going to hang up , when he started in again i hung up. he called back furious and demanded to speak with liz... i said "liz was very upset about the way you were treating her earlier, she will no longer be taking your calls concerning this patient...my name is 'mary' and i will be the nurse taking care of this patient now ...what can i do for you?..." he gave me new orders and told me he was coming in...after some discussion about his interaction with liz i pointed out that he had a reputaion of being difficult ...he then asked me to appologize to liz for him...i said "i think that is something you need to do personally...if there is nothing else you need from me now i will get started on these orders." he had previously treated liz rudely but after this day he was a totally different person to her.
when co-workers say things to newcomers in in front of others whoever is present should say "i think ya'll need to discuss this in private" and then walk off...no audience... with patients i usually say "i know you don't feel well but i am not going to be talked to in this manner...i will be back in a few minutes" and i leave ...usually the most obnoxious patients are the least sick and a few minutes of "wait therapy" gives them time to ponder the wisdom of being rude to the person that gives the pain meds, gets the pillow/blanket and coordinates their care. i find that addressing the issue immediately usually alters the behavior. avoiding the issue almost guarantees the behavior will escalate.
some infamous bad behavior divas need a more direct approach... once 'god's right hand man' (a neurosurgeon) was "off the chain" about something and began screaming at me about a hospital policy. (i wasn't even involved with his patient just happened to be there)
i said "you may talk to your wife and children like this or maybe your office staff but not me ...i'm not the cause of your problems and i am not going to be blamed for them and i certainly don't have to put up with your bad behavior." and i walked off. much to his dismay a short time later he realized i was the only person in our whole departmant who was trained to monitor the icp monitor he wanted to insert in the er...our hospital has a policy that prohibits inserting icp monitors in the er but allows exceptions when the patient is critical and there is a nurse available who is certified to monitor it. on this day the patient was not critical but he did not want to wait(had dinner plans) while the patient was transferred to the or or neuro icu. my cn left it up to me and then made him ask me if i would be willing to assist him and monitor his patient even though it did not fall into the exception clause of the policy...i agreed, i was polite but avoided his attempts to "chat" and only gave short answers to direct questions during the procedure . to this day he goes out of his way to be nice to me .... and usually looks for me anytime he has a patient in our department...
the longer you tolerate bad behavior the worse it will become. i'm a firm believer that in all aspects of your life "you get what you settle for"