future nurse and taking care of my parents

kittykatty · Oct 6, 2009

I planned ahead for my Mom coming to live with me when I built my house--I put a separate living but connected area on it for her. She has been with me since 1997--she did get very ill about 3 years ago which accelerated my decision to take an early retirement because it costs too much to have someone else come in--since I am already trained.

Her health has gotten better so now I am looking to go to work again and since my sister just retired I am hoping she can pitch in. It is always easier if you have other family members pitching in.

Do either of your parents have military time in? If they do and served during war time then when the time comes that they need home care you can apply for assistance with the cost.

In the end I wouldn't have it any other way but just be prepared to have to give up some of your free time to take care of the them. It sometimes can be a 24 hour thing but very rewarding. You're a good daughter for helping your parents.

TruNurse86 · Oct 6, 2009

I myself have a mother who is in the same situation. I am going to start nursing school in January. While my sister is the main caregiver I am the one who is working to make things better. The financial toll has been pretty bad and this has been going on for about two years now. I live on the bare minimum and budget like a madwoman. All I am doing right now is praying until the day I can finally make it better. I have no advice to give about advance care nursing but I do send you my best.:1luvu:

kittykatty · Oct 6, 2009

I myself have a mother who is in the same situation. I am going to start nursing school in January. While my sister is the main caregiver I am the one who is working to make things better. The financial toll has been pretty bad and this has been going on for about two years now. I live on the bare minimum and budget like a madwoman. All I am doing right now is praying until the day I can finally make it better. I have no advice to give about advance care nursing but I do send you my best.:1luvu:

Bless You for taking care of your Mom and good luck with nursing school. Just a tip to save money in school--For textbooks you need--go to school bookstore and get ISBN numbers from books and then buy them on hal.com or ebay--you will save alot of money. I always got my ISBN numbers a month before classes so I could take my time and find the best deals--sometimes I would buy the edition before the last one if I could be sure that it had the same info. I saved so much money.

jmp0801 · Oct 6, 2009

Wow I think you are a great child for wanting to care for your parents and for wanting to give them the best care you can by going to school. I have worked in an assisted living community for the past year and half. Working with the elderly has been a huge passion of mine and I found it to be really rewarding. The cost of health care is quite expensive, I don't know how much exactly, but I know that your parents will be saving a lot of money with you taking care of them versus them moving into an assisted living community. The cost is going to really depend on how many medications they are on and what their health is like. I wish you the best of luck to you and your parents and good luck in nursing school it’s very difficult, but in the end very rewarding.

gerilyn · Oct 6, 2009

I was primary caregiver for both of my parents. My Mom passed last year and my Dad the year before that. It is an awesome responsiblity and although I am a Geriatric nurse I was also their daughter. Sometimes I had to resist the urge to doing everything I could to "make them better" but ultimately I kept my promise to respect their wishes to remain at home. You will volley between being a daughter and being a nurse not to mention other family dynamics that ultimately come into play. Have your parents make their wishes known way before anyone can say they were too feeble-minded to do so and then hang in there and enjoy this very special time. I wouldn't trade a minute I spent with them. Financially it was difficult and I will be recovering from that for years but emotionally it was the bast thing I ever did. Best to you.

roser13, ASN, RN · Oct 6, 2009

From personal experience:

I think that you should follow your heart as to what educational path you follow, rather than specializing in geriatrics just because it will help you care for your parents. Let's face it, most any nursing education/position will put you ahead of the curve in caring for elderly parents. You will always have co-workers to resource your specific questions.

I went back to nursing school at 35 when my husband was diagnosed with a chronic lung condition. Naively, I planned to specialize in pulmonary issues, or at least work on a pulmonary floor. Halfway through nursing school, it dawned on me that (a) I hated pulmonary, and (b) working a pulmonary unit would do nothing more than expose me to every known lung bug to bring home to my husband. I followed my interests and now have a wealth of doctors and nurses to drawn upon when I have any pulmonary issues.

jallen5 · Oct 6, 2009

Thank you so much for all of the thoughtful input everyone. I am so grateful for all of you!

dannyc12 · Oct 7, 2009

I am 40 years old and am doing prereqs for nursing school. My husband and I just started actively planning for retirement and I just realized that my parents are broke, in debt and in pretty bad health.

I am in a similar situation to you in my age, educational status (I am in a ADN-RN program) and (future) status of parents.

However, no matter how far I go in Nursing, I will NEVER be a primary caregiver for my parents or other family members. I do plan on working closely and collaboratively with their caregivers, but I have no interest in experiencing the role strain involved in providing primary care for a parent.