Falling into severe depression ...(vent)

Nurses General Nursing

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So these past few months have been really hard on me. I just got accepted into the nursing program (yay), but my personal life seems to be falling apart. I really have no one to talk to... I'm so afraid that nursing school is going to be nearly impossible, if not completely impossible, if my personal life doesn't turn for the better. I've been with my husband for about 4 years, and right now we are talking about getting a divorce. I still love my husband terribly, we just have incompatibilty issues with living together. Leaving him and seeing him with someone else will tear me into two. It's so hard to wake up in the morning and getting on with life when I think about our situation. On top of this, my parents are the ones who are paying for my college, because I have no job. Well, with the economy going down the drain my Dad is on the brink of losing his job, which means they might have to leave the state so they could live "cheaper". The thing is, with my husband and I being divorced, I live with my parents. With my Dad losing his job means I have no place to go and no money to pay for school. I haven't even entered nursing school and I'm near a break down. I start school in exactly 6 days and I'm so afraid. I hear the program is incrediably time consuming and extremely hard. I just don't know how I'm going to deal with school and my everyday life. I feel myself sinking into a deep depresion and I know I have to try to snap out of it, but it's too hard. *sigh* :cry:

Specializes in CVICU-ICU.

This post is for Travel50.....I just wanted to say I read your post and I have to say it brought tears to my eyes. I admire your strenght and I hope anyone going thru tough times reads it and realizes that no matter what life hands you there are reasons for it and ways to make it a positive experience in the end. I have not nearly endured what you have in your life but we all have had hardships to deal with and how we handle them determines who we are in one way or another. Those little girls were lucky to have you for their role model.

You are going through a lot right now and I hope everything will work out between you and your husband. You need his support if you are going to go to school for anything, especially nursing. Severe depression is serious and you need someone to talk to. I understand money is tight, but you must find a way to get some counseling. Get the counseling even if it is just for you not just to fix your marriage. Good luck.

Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

I think your going to school is great, and best of all it will keep you busy enough not to obsess on your ex husband or other troubles. Somehow things always manage to work out for the best. Just think you will have a career in which you will be able to support yourself. That is what nursing did for me. Yes divorce is hard but being with man who does not want to be married is much worse. You will grieve one cannot rush the process. It is the loss of the dream which is the part most difficult to get over, not the loss of the spouse. While that hurts , it is not the end of the world. Been there ,done that. I am sorry you are going through this.

You now have a new dream,, nursing.

Specializes in Geriatrics.

I know where your coming from. I was a single Mom of 2 girls with no support from my ex husband, working full time make ends meet. Then 2 weeks before starting Nursing school my Dad passed away. I continued with the course because my Dad was so proud that I had gotten into the program. Then 3 months later my Mom was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumer. My family decided to keep her home rather than put her in a LTC facility. She required round the clock care, so, we all took shifts. I would get up at 5AM, go to work until 3PM, then school from 4PM until 10PM, then 3 days a week down to sit with Mom from 11PM until 5:30Am, when my sister would relieve me so I could go to work. I did my studying at night while Mom was sleeping (which wasn't often). Mom passed away in March, the day of her funeral I had to leave the gathering early because I had go to clinicals.

I have to say that inspite of the losses, depression and worry, I am glad I found a way to keep going. You will find a way to continue, the decision to become a Nurse means that you have the drive & determination to overcome obsticles most people would run from. (Just think of what you went thru just to get into the program!) Yes, life if going to throw a ton of road blocks in your way, but there are ways to get around them. Talk to your councilor about extra help you can get both financially and personally.

As for your ex-husband, it's his loss, it's hard to let someone you loved for so long go. But, this could be a blessing in disguise, out there is a man who will be more supportive of you, and love you more than you can imagine. Consintrate on school now, then once you graduate, get a great job and start living!

Good luck & God Bless you & yours

Student Loans + working ur *ss off during breaks is the formula that worked for me & many of my classmates.

It can be done!

Good Luck sweetie! : )

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