End of life experience as a RN

[mkschneider00]

I believed I was somewhat unfortunately desensitized to death. Then my father became Ill and passed away within weeks.

Every last moment keeps playing over in my head. Before his past breath he squinted his eyes and grabbed my hand one last time (Having been unresponsive for days). He had tears at the end as well.

I can't stop thinking was all of this physiological or were they real tears. Did he know what was happening?

As a nurse with my 6 years experience, I tend to lean toward the "oh it was the body's response". But as a child I now lean toward it was his last form of affection.

Is this a normal part of grief? This is my first death as an adult. He was only 60. Was this a normal response? He was reaching out for days as well. I had never seen this before because I have only cared for end of life patients at the very last end.

[dream'n, BSN, RN]

I do believe there is a bond with our loved ones on a spiritual level. And I've personally seen and felt too many 'things' at a person's time of death and after, as a human and as a nurse, to deny the connection people have and that there is much we don't clearly know.

I don't think it was just a physiological response from your dad. Just my opinion, but perhaps he was worried about you and sad to leave you.

[lhflanurseNP, APRN]

When my father passed, after 3 days of not responding...he opened his eyes, looked at my sister and myself then smiled and winked at my mom then he was gone. I remember one patient lingering for nearly 2 weeks until her son was able to come and be by her bedside. I have had other patients not seem to transition at all, and just stop breathing. I would like to believe in your case, your father was reaching out to say goodbye.