Does God Make Mistakes? - page 7

by itsmeemtp

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I looked up at the doctor across the crib who is still hovering over him and checking his ventilator and trachea. Wildly he flailed as the doctor touched his abdomen. I tried to calm him by holding his hand. This is the first... Read More


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    nurseatrest1963: thank you for sharing your story, i am very sorry for your loss but also happy that you and your daughter were able to spend time, hold her, and kiss her. may your grandbaby be in peace and playing with the angels!
    nurseatrest1963 likes this.
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    bigrusskcmo: "the original post said themom had 8 other chldren."

    the original post said the mom had 8 other pregnancies. this baby was the second born alive baby.

    :imbar

    ~itsmeemtp
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    Quote from nurseatrest1963
    This story was told very well, even showing your change of heart took courage...Not everyone is capable of taking good care of special needs children...it is often totally heart breaking...whether the child was born this way or something traumatic caused the disease state. Often a mother or fathers heart is the only real connection that you can "actually see", like a window to the childs heart/soul...Have you ever worked with a closed head injured pt...and wondered whether there was anyone in there, and months later they actually woke up!? Its amazing, and totally unexpected, yet it does happen...Medicine is amazing, its Gods gift, and His grace, His hope applied to our lives ...but...we are only PRACTICING medicine, as nurses etc...We are His healing hands, His touch, His hug, that can be passed on from person to person...Over the yrs (or even only months)...how many miracles have you taken place in....have you assisted in a birth? WOW!! Have you held someones hand, or just sat with someone through the dying process...It is just really hard for me to believe that some big bang happened and all the cells lined up and poof, a human was created ...over time...yeah right...everything is essentially made out of the same ole stuff, and yet, one is a human, another a dog, and another a plant...hmm I just can't wrap my mind around that...My answer, my hearts belief is that there is a God..whatever you call your creator...its all about faith..we get too smart for our britches (I know, kind of hick sounding--but you get my drift), and all of a sudden we question our very existence...I honestly don't know where all this came from....I had a grandchild who lived a little less than an hour...the Dr...(the so called specialist) wanted my grand daughter to be born vaginally, so that it woud quicken her death...was suppose to be "MORE HUMANE" The actual birth would probably cause her to be stillborn..During a "cheating" ultrasound to find out whether my grandbaby was a boy or girl (small town hospital---friend did an ultrasound)...the Small town Dr. was called in on a sunday Dr. M came into the hospital off of the tractor in his cowboy boots/jeans..and helped us understand what the ultrasound tech saw...My grand daughter had an omphalocele...and would need a specialized ultrasound, and specialist to determine what our next moves should be...He was kind and gave us hope...Until the specialist informed us that "IT WAS NOT VIABLE"...My daughter knew that didn't sound good, and I became well...Ticked off immediately...I let the Dr. know he needed to explain to my daughter what he meant, and that he better find his compasionate side while doing so!! Anyway, my grand daughter had Pentology of Cantrel...and a multitude of abnormalties. The Dr told us she had 3 days to decide to abort it!....My daughter told him right then and there that her baby girls life was in Gods hands, and chose to carry her...surpisingly Justina went to almost full term...was born 4pounds 13oz, blonde hair, ....(sorry I am jumping around)...when my daughter went into labor the Dr/Specialist said she needed to deliver vaginally it was best for the baby! Yeah, RIGHT...we knew she was malformed, with severe scoliosis, etc (sort of fused bent like a L shape,) her intestines were on the outside, as well as her heart, she only had a partial diaphragm, her lungs were incomplete...and they said a vaginal birth would be best (so that she would suffer less!!)...They were making my daughter labor, on top of everything else, I thought this was so unfair...labor is suppose to have a wonderful outcome...why go through it when there is so little chance...and why tear a baby apart while traveling through the birth canal!!! What's fair about that..to die in birth...not to mention that my daughter was still young, and wanted more than anything in life to be a "mother"..and what the Dr. proposed posed a serious danger to my daughter..and her chances of having children again...He suggested that a C-section was a high risk too...(He didn't know I was a surgical nurse, who assisted in C-sections)Anyway, I went over his head...my daughter had a c-section and my grand daughter was born! She lived less than an hour...I held her, and literally watched her little heart beat, and her lungs take their breaths...she gave it her best shot...but grandma sung to her, and held her, until Jesus took her in His loving arms...My daughter had a chance to meet her daughter, and to say goodbye. This was yrs ago..could she have lived today with intervention? Maybe..but Gods grace was sufficient...Is this all why now yrs later I have changed directions once again and find myself working with special needs children...I enjoy seeing the smiles/and facial expressions these children have...the light that shines in their eyes when they recognize their family, and yes, even their nurse! I know someone is in there...how much they understand, how far they will go in life...isn't up to me. I can't control any of that, but I can control portions of their health. I can give them good care, with Love and tenderness, laughter and joy...isn't that what we all need....(by the way--if you are taking care of a child, and they are not being cared for properly, is CPS involved? Or is it a situation where alls you can do is your best, whether it be in their home, or institution they all deserve our best...if you can't give loving care then maybe its time for a change. God Bless all those that give their best for these truly special children (and adults)!

    Thank you for a wonderful and tear jerking story---------yes, that baby is in Gods loving hands now. Sometimes our experience along the way in life will show us as to where we would like to spend our nursing skills....more than once so go where your heart tugs you....chances are this is where you are needed for a certain time...:heartbeat
    nurseatrest1963 likes this.
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    great story really thx
    itsmeemtp likes this.
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    By the way...I forgot one major issue...they wanted to have a vaginal birth...cost effective for a person with no insurance!, vs C-section....I hope these kind of choices don't become the norm due to government involvement in our health care system...It really is yet to be seen, as for right now, I think we hear what the govt wants us to hear...
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    Quote from nurseatrest1963
    By the way...I forgot one major issue...they wanted to have a vaginal birth...cost effective for a person with no insurance!, vs C-section....I hope these kind of choices don't become the norm due to government involvement in our health care system...It really is yet to be seen, as for right now, I think we hear what the govt wants us to hear...


    I hope not. I know the government credibility is pretty yuccky right now considering all the things that they let happen, such as the AIG, Enron, Big automobile corporate------ nobody was watching really, no regulation in place for these corporates,( they have strong lobbyist that pushed their greedy interests) so they got away w/ bloody murder---- and the middle class is in burden w/ the tax alone, since the rich have loopholes not to pay or the minimum , and the poor ones have no money to pay.......so we are the worker ants, or the mule ---the ones that works so hard and carries heavy burdens on their back, right?
    But not to try to change the healthcare right now will be a big mistake and a horrendous chaos since healthcare expenses will bankrupt the nation---- and lots of people and children will not get any care 'cause it will be too expensive.Cost effective is reasonable, but in your case w/ the baby ----there are ethics involve . No way you can allow a vaginal birth because it is cheaper. The baby is entitled to a comfortable and as pain free as possible birth. The t cells are protected, why not a full and breathing baby ??? You know what I mean?
    If ever comes a time wherein cost is first before ethics , then we are damned and God help us!!!!
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    Thank you for sharing!
    Last edit by sirI on Jul 23, '09 : Reason: off-topic comment
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    Cardiacnurse2006, I am sorry this is so painful for you. I have lost a child, so I am not being condescending when I tell you that I understand both your pain and your anger, and I am not criticizing you for either. Yes, as I think the OP was illustrating in her excellent story, good and bad do exist, and much that happens in the world is terribly bad. And trying to decide who to blame is tempting, but futile. I do not know why the child in the OP's story was born so tragically impaired, nor do I know why (or blame anyone) for your tragedy, or for the loss of my own child. My only point was, that all that is bad in the world does not change the fact that life still has value, and there is still good in this evil world.
    Last edit by sirI on Jul 24, '09 : Reason: off-topic
    itsmeemtp and MaritesaRN like this.
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    One more gentle redirect.

    Please do not discuss religion and existence/non-existence of God in this thread.

    Please take all of this type of discussion to AN Central in the aforementioned forum.
    Silverdragon102 likes this.
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    Quote from CountyRat
    Cardiacnurse2006, I am sorry this is so painful for you. I have lost a child, so I am not being condescending when I tell you that I understand both your pain and your anger, and I am not criticizing you for either. Yes, as I think the OP was illustrating in her excellent story, good and bad do exist, and much that happens in the world is terribly bad. And trying to decide who to blame is tempting, but futile. I do not know why the child in the OP's story was born so tragically impaired, nor do I know why (or blame anyone) for your tragedy, or for the loss of my own child. My only point was, that all that is bad in the world does not change the fact that life still has value, and there is still good in this evil world.
    Wonderful, and very gentle reply.


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