Divorce & Nursing

[NorthStar]

I just read on MSN.com that one thing men to steer away from in women...is to stay away from a relationship with a nurse. "After a long 12 hour shift, there isn't much time left for love and caring at home". I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm 43 years old and am definately, totally exhausted and am running on fumes by the time I get home. I became an RN in my early 20's and had a lovely marriage sour after several years. I can honestly say that my occupation was hazardous to my marriage. What about the rest of you? Any contributing factors or solutions?

[Mr_D]

A brief bullet point summary of my reply THAT WAS LOST....

Great thread . . .

After much discussion, my wife and I decided I will persue Nursing as a 2nd career. I am successful in the IT field.

We have always had friction over the usual: money, household labor, sex, future goals.

We are very complementary on politics (disgusted with the two-party system and the corrupt Republicrats, we are socially liberal, fiscally conservative) and religion (apathetic), and both luck out when it comes to character.

After 8 years, a fireball strong-willed 2.5 year old, a baby, and a career-change, we are on the brink now. We are seeing a marriage therapist seperately.

We fight over "ideology" -- that is, our respective principles and beliefs, the way "things should be" e.g. house neatness standards and 50/50 split of chores, quantity/passion of sex, money saved vs. convenience, etc.

We now are discussing our "ideology" rather that fighting the merits of our respective position. We "discovered" we are very different people. Question on the table now: How do we continue to build our relationship with our differences?

Our marriage will last or break depending on our adaptability and desire to make it last.

I'm making choices to address some of her concerns i.e. put the sex issue on the shelf for several months, cooking more, more efficiently using my time.

We are not delusional. Nursing School will definately test our relationship.

I think if we can get through the next 3 years, we'll be OK.

My orginal post was SO MUCH nicer. Arrgggg! Tough lesson in learning to do a Ctrl-A and Ctrl-C before submitting (places all your hard work in the clipboard).

Mr_D

PS -- It happened again!!! Thankfully, I didn't lose my work this time, just "repasted" it.

[CCU NRS]

I guess I can see where you are coming from but the one thing I did not see mentioned in your post was anything about your feelings. I have been married for 9 years and believe me there have been many Giant issues, I took two step children to raise and I love them dearly. My wife is the center of my universe and I do all I can to help with all things home, financial, parenting etc. If I did not love my wife with unconditional love that burns white hot we would not be together today, there have been many things that have caused major strife in our relationship not the least of which the two daughtres that I have given all I can to please and they were never happy with me, I am not their father and I came between their mother and them, their father is worthless and to be held in less regard than a horrible worhtless human being just because i did not biologically contribute to their lives was very hurtful. I have gotten both of them therapy D/T the treatment they suffered at the hands of their father, I also have gone to Marriage counseling with my wife on a separate and a couples basis. She does love me and I love her and we will get through the hardships that have been bestowed upon us.