okay...so i made a very drastic decision that i am slowly realizing perhaps was not the best decision for me. with much reluctance i resigned from all three of the nursing positions which i held including my most recent which i have only had for two months as a center manager in order to pursue a bsn degree in the philippines.
this decsion was made in haste and was not at all thought out on my part in regards to just how severe and impactful this decision was going to be on my life. i made this decision with much pressure from my family who i now feel coerced me in making perhaps one of the worst decisions i have ever made.
so a little background on me...i am only a vocational nurse with a an associate of science degree...and yes i am half filipino...however i have never been to this country before and i am not fluent in tagalog nor any other language spoken here aside from english. my family has harassed me for almost three years now to go the philippines to complete my educational goals for various reasons. they despise the fact for some reason that i am only an lvn while they are all rn's who received their degrees from the philippines. they also stress to me the drastic difference in cost in education as well as the lack of a waiting list.
well my half-sister and brother along with my cousin were going to the philippines to earn their degree and my family would not leave me alone. they wanted me to go as well because the school which i am now enrolled would credit all of my subjects and this would shorten my time to three years for a bsn. they told me that if i went they would cover my tuition, books, uniforms, etc. me, my siblings, and my cousins would stay in one of their vacation homes and would have an allowance every month of 800 dollars each which i found was equivelant to roughly 34,000 pesos which is the currency here. we all would attend the same school and have a driver.
initially i said no which prompted my family to tell me that if i didn't go now they would not pay for me to go to a university in the u.s when i was ready and only pay if i went to the philippines. other things were said and i eventually decided to go. now that i am here and school has started i find it very difficult. not only do i not fit in but i cannot even blend in because i have a really light complexion and green eyes which i inherited from my mother who is european. i do not speak the language well enough which causes laughing from classmates and others here when i speak. everything is so different here and the poverty is so sad that it breaks my heart to see it. i feel home sick and i miss my friends and job. i don't know if i should just pack up and fly back home and try and salvage my life or if i should just stop complaining, suck it up, and finish my degree here.
also, i am immensely worried that employers will be critical of me since i earned a degree in the philippines. i know my family says that they wont, but being a manager, i have clearly witnessed other managers pass on rn's who had foreign degress in favor of rn's who were u.s trained based on the assumption that philippine nurses tend to have a subpar education.
i am seeking advice from wise nurses who can try their best to place themselves in my shoes and give me honest feedback on what themselves would do whether it is to stay or go home. i know if i go home now my family will be out money and be upset...but i can always pay them back...but if i stay i just don't see how i can stand 3 years here...
your feedback would be appreciated more than you know...