Death- your experiences

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txwildflower57

34 Posts

Specializes in Telemetry; Stroke.

I work with a doctor who believes that the elderly in the LTC shouldn't have anything more than Tylenol! He's a jerk! Patients should always have all comfort measures at end of life.

txwildflower57

34 Posts

Specializes in Telemetry; Stroke.

I work in LTC and I think that we do still have feelings about death but we have to protect ourselves so we don't "fall apart" everytime someone passes away. Especially if you work in LTC or Critical Care where it can be a daily situation. I do feel something when we lose a patient at our home but I also know that it's like most anything else in nursing - we don't have a choice but to suck it up and keep on going - we have other patients depending on us. We live in a small town and I know people get upset sometimes because as the DON I don't go to the funerals but I can't - that pushes me past my protective zone. We have to take care of ourselves or we aren't any good to anyone else.

Specializes in Hospice.

I work in LTC and have done CPR on frail older folks. I've seen the trauma it does to their bodies, felt the ribs/sternum breaking, and hated it. Those are the deaths that bother me. The ones that were kept comfortable and allowed to pass with dignity and peace, those don't bother me. I'm a huge fan of DNRs. Even though I know they are not appropriate in every situation, for most of those I care for a DNR is appropriate. I also think hospice is a great resource that should be utilized much more frequently than it is. Comfort medications are ordered by the hospice doc reagardless of what the regular MD thinks (only one great thing about hospice - there's lots more).

allnurses Guide

Hygiene Queen

2,232 Posts

My question for all of you who have had experience with dying patients is this; does touching and handling death on the job change your perspective when one of your own family members is dying? Are you more likely to make Grandma a DNR or be at peace with someone's passing?

Having always worked in geriatrics and seen more than my share of death, I did find that I have developed a peculiar reaction to it when it came to my grandparents.

I never cried, saw it as a blessing and, strangely, caught myself looking for signs of impending death.

I would think: "well, this is Grandma's second wind... everyone think she's getting better, but I don't think so", "hmmm... Grandma's legs are mottled", "Grandma suddenly has that 'pinched' look", "that is a death rattle"... etc.

I never verbalize this, though one time my mother noticed my grandma's appearance literally change before our eyes. Mom commented on it and I confirmed what she was thinking. Of course, I was right.

I do not do this when confronted with the death of younger people and I attribute this to my desensitization from working geriatrics for so long.

clfrn

21 Posts

Specializes in Med-Surg - Neuro Science - Cardiac.

I can't say I am comfortable with death. I work with alot of the older population and deal with strokes and brain injury or tumors. I can say that my opinion on DNR-DNI has changed over the years. I now believe in quality of life over quantity. I talk to families more open about their loved ones and when I have a patient pass, I am sad but I don't feel bad about the fact that this patient was laying in bed and unable to do anything for themselves. I shed tears for the family because they have lost a family member but not for the patient who is now at peace. I don't want to rush them to death but why prolong a life that is now longer viable. I have cried with families and am not ashamed of it. I feel I still have compassion and I can make a difference in a families life by being human.

butterfliesrus

15 Posts

I wouldn't say I am comfortable with death. I work in a nursing home and we have hospice patients who pass every few weeks because our company is very close partners with a hospice company. The nurses are wonderful and allow me to pray for every client as they approach their time, sometimes even joining me. I wind up crying every time a client passes, especially if they were long-term residents of the home. Death itself doesn't bother me, but the fact that I won't be able to see the patients the next day does. I pay my respects to every family, thanking them for bringing their loved one to the home so we could appreciate their lives. I haven't been to any funerals, but that's because I didn't think it would be appropriate. Taking care of and appreciating a patient's life is different than celebrating their life and past. I also don't really like funerals.

In regards to how patients are to be cared for and DNRs: every patient has the right to as painless of a passing as possible and every patient has a right to protect their lives. Our personal biases are void of meaning. With myself, I'll probably be DNR, just because living on a machine isn't really being alive. Also- more pain versus no pain isn't very fun sounding. But- every one has their own choice. (Huge fan of DNRs personally- but sometimes I can't understand why younger patients are DNR.)

I work with a doctor who believes that the elderly in the LTC shouldn't have anything more than Tylenol! He's a jerk! Patients should always have all comfort measures at end of life.

I read above that a doctor only prescibes Tylonol? That is torture and should be reported to the authorities asap. That's unforgivable.

Debilpn23

439 Posts

Specializes in long term care Alzheimers Patients.
I wouldn't say I am comfortable with death. I work in a nursing home and we have hospice patients who pass every few weeks because our company is very close partners with a hospice company. The nurses are wonderful and allow me to pray for every client as they approach their time, sometimes even joining me. I wind up crying every time a client passes, especially if they were long-term residents of the home. Death itself doesn't bother me, but the fact that I won't be able to see the patients the next day does. I pay my respects to every family, thanking them for bringing their loved one to the home so we could appreciate their lives. I haven't been to any funerals, but that's because I didn't think it would be appropriate. Taking care of and appreciating a patient's life is different than celebrating their life and past. I also don't really like funerals.

In regards to how patients are to be cared for and DNRs: every patient has the right to as painless of a passing as possible and every patient has a right to protect their lives. Our personal biases are void of meaning. With myself, I'll probably be DNR, just because living on a machine isn't really being alive. Also- more pain versus no pain isn't very fun sounding. But- every one has their own choice. (Huge fan of DNRs personally- but sometimes I can't understand why younger patients are DNR.)

I read above that a doctor only prescibes Tylonol? That is torture and should be reported to the authorities asap. That's unforgivable.

I agree

ArrowRN, BSN, RN

4 Articles; 1,149 Posts

Specializes in Med Surg, PCU, Travel.

When I was an EMT I had my share of death, but death should never make one become desensitized but if it happens it is normal. My 2 hardest cases were getting an unconscious baby to the ER , she died, I drove the ambulance(maybe at twice the speed limit). The second was me, doing CPR at the back of an ambulance on a child who was 5 years old. I still remember the look on the faces of the nurses and doctors when we brought her in...she did not make it either :( I dont think anyone will ever get "used to" the death of a child. I even cried after thinking what more could I have done differently, it always goes though your mind I guess. This helped me appreciate life more and I got very happy when we got to assist in the birth of a child, it the most overwhelming job ever.

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