Dear preceptor

Ok, so this is a vent. I apologize for the length of this post. Please note that this is not meant to be a general statement of my opinion on a whole group of people. Don't flame me. I'm mad and tired and don't have anyone else to tell. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me what patients to take, and I take them. Then when I am at the bedside, communicating with the family (you know that rapport thing?), you decide that it is a great time to tell me *not to touch the patient*, or the machines for that matter unless you are there. What? I did not fall off of the nursing school wagon yesterday. I am new to your facility, but not a new grad. I did get a smug sense of satisfaction when the family told you it was fine and I was handling things.

I see that you do not have any intention of assessing my skill level or evaluating areas in which I need assistance. In your eyes, I have no skill level or even brain stem function because every action on my part is met by you with some sort of resistance or interrogation. You cant wait for me to come out of the bathroom before you call the doc... making me look like some sort of fool that cant call the doctor. Lo and behold the toilet flushes and I am greeted with 75 orders, all of which you *write* but make me *do*. Although I am a critical care nurse, and am comfortable with bedside procedures, it is *imperative * on your part to ensure that I am educated on sterile fields and how to open packages. That makes me feel so great, especially with the doc at the bedside.

Precepting with you has given me a great opportunity to practice dealing with "the cold shoulder, being aloof and unapproachable." I *know* that you aren't any of those things, just preparing me for when I run into someone who is. Thanks! I am now well versed in forced conversation, fake enthusiasm, and being lonely but not alone.

I have been practicing my mental, telepathic and psychic abilities... seeing as how there isn't any verbal interaction between us, its time to take it up a notch. *places fingertips to temples* Can you hear me now?

Here is an interesting thought. You breeze in, tell me how the lights have to be like this, and these lines need to be like this and so on. I am respectful of those requests. I like things a certain way too.. try to be mindful of that. The road goes both ways here. The same goes for documentation. Maybe you could ask me why I wrote a certain thing before you scratch it out and write error... although all the extra embellishments make my flow sheet look freakin fantastic, right?

When I ask you about something, especially when its a policy and the rationale for not following it... I just love when you get mean and flash those *knowing* looks to all your friends at the desk.

Precepting with you has been quite the experience, and as life goes, all things must come to an end. Now that our journey is finished, know that I will *never* forget you.

Love, your preceptee

Unfortunate that you had such a STUPID preceptor . . . but you could see right through him/her . . . your preceptor is just a very insecure, miniscule insect . . . My advice, forget about him/her and get started with your career!! Go for it!

Specializes in Internal medicine & urology.

Wow,

I'm so sorry to hear this. I just finished my preceptorship yesterday in ICU and I had a wonderful experience, I'm a new grad. I can't believe someone can be a preceptor and act this way. My preceptor was amazing, as well as the whole ICU crew at the hospital I was at. Coming into this experience I was not sure where I wanted to work, but after my experience with this team I want to be a part of ICU.

I'm no teacher, but like I've said a million times I admire anyone who gives of themselves to teach, but not all that do, should!

It sounds like you are skilled and have a good sense of self worth so hopefully you will learn and grow from this experience, and when it comes your time to preceptor you will remember what not to do:)

Best of Luck!!

Specializes in Cardiac, Oncology, Holistic Nursing.

I feel your pain. I, too, am currently precepting and, though I have a nurse who is often charge and does not get patinets (!), she is pretty cool and easy to talk to. However, in my clinical rotations, I certainly encountered several nurses of the species of which you speak. I have often asked myself, "why do some (most, from what I have encountered) nurses become such ******* [with fellows]?" I hope to never become such a jaded person! It is such a shame.

I can't wait to begin my career on my own...so that I can make a difference, as nurses, by defenition, are meant to do.

I'm sorry, too, Ivanna. Reading your post makes me think you precepted with my last precepter in my last PCU. I did not survive. But my story has a happy ending. I am working in a beautiful hospital with a unit full of staff who pride themselves on "being there for one another." Everyone, everyone is full of please and thank you and can usually find the time to exchange other pleasantries just to cushion a chronically stressful floor. My work is hard. We "run" for 12 hours on that floor. We are grateful to get away for 1/2 hour to eat. I have to force myself to go and get a glass of water sometimes because I'll get a headache later if I let myself dehydrate.

Point being, there's no excuse. I don't care how burnt out you are or what burdens are imposed...it's the nature of the business. You either choose to commit lateral violence or you choose not to. You either choose to react to it and perpetuate it, or you choose not too. I'm beginning to see there are definately the us's and the them's in nursing. I'm with the us's. Our work is hard enough. Ugly, mean, burnt out nurses (male and female) make the work unbearable. I said until very recently, I couldn't wait until my son was up on his own two feet so I could go back to waitressing just to be in an enviornment where people smile and make nice. But I'm rethinking that now. I love my unit. I've been through 4 hostile work environments now. I've been a nurse for 9 years. I'm good at what I do. I've had patients, too many to count, express..."I don't know what I would have done without you." And that's what I'm being paid to do.

I don't know if it's the new manager I'm working with. Could be. She's outstanding. The system isn't so different from other PCUs. Nurses really don't get their breaks. Our work loads are impractical, basically a set up. But she is well liked and expects the best from her staff. She is realistic and when people make mistakes, there isn't a shaming experience to follow. Nurses arriving to take over the shift don't look for errors to blame and chastise and shame (or make themselves feel important), they report the miss and wait for me to do as I should...."I'll get right on that. Thanks for finding that for me." They know I've been running my rear end off all day. I'm beginning to let go of apologizing for my inadequacies at change of shift report because the other nurses really don't have time for that and they simply don't care. They only want to start their shift.

Tabitha mentioned very few nurses enter the profession as ogres. I'm sorry to say I disagree. I had some real nasty women to contend with in my associates program. Too much to go into here, but over the top unprofessional, backbiting and agressive belittling of other students. Then I taught for a minute. And it was very interesting to see pretty much those same women (and one mean young man) sitting at the back of the class (as those in my AA program) making sniping remarks about me, about anything anyone else said, as if their whole day revolved around ripping others down. Their self-esteem must have been in the toilet, below zero. So, I'm convinced the mean ones come that way and just get meaner as they gain a little knowlege in this profession of profoundly vast knowlege base. Then they use the knowlege they've gained to torment the newcomers. It is an awesome feat, Ivanna that you survived. I commend you.

No, this is not a new problem. But because I have seen now that it truly doesn't have to be this way, and that it is so much more bearable when we are kind to eachother, it's just so sad. I wrote a similar post months ago and at first their was initial support, encouragement. Then the banchies rode in and started ripping me apart. "I thought I was so much better than everyone else...blah, blah, blah." So, they're here too. I do think it's a two-year degree, women thing. I think people who are inclined to go through their day, their life, finding fault and being negative suck. Nursing is saturated with these kind of people. I think management and boards need to problem solve. Even mean dogs learn to trust after someone's been kind to them for some time.

BambiCMA, you won't turn into one of them. You're nature isn't like that. It doesn't work like that. And you can tell from Ivanna's post, this witch wasn't having a bad day..."I just ove it when you get mean and flash those knowing looks at all your freinds at the desk." They glom together in their misery. Look, positive people, glom together. Treat eachother well. Don't retaliate, leave....find somewhere better, Wish I could tell you where I work, email me privately and I'll tell you because the whole hospital is engrained with this philosphy. I remember in orientation when they said they insisted on being nice, I thought "Yeah sure..., " but they do. Nice people, let the mean people's comments roll off your back. Say a little prayer for them. Don't feed into it. If you find yourself doing that, leave. Or, you may become less than what you were designed to be.

Ivanna, thanks for the post. We need to keep talking about this until we fix it.

Specializes in Med-surg, IP surgery.

Gee, Ivanna, I would say we had the same preceptor but my school canned mine while she was precepting me. She pulled a lot of what you went through and more. Fortunately my instructors were more than able to see there was something "not right" having had me in clinicals and classes for two years. I am one of the few people inmy school's history who had a preceptor pulled out from under them. I ended up with a really nice woman who took the time to actually teach me what I needed to know about the real world with tact and good sense.

You are out from under it now and have your whole career ahead of you. I lived through, we all have. Now we just have to learn to be the very best nurses we can and know that all people are different and be emphatic enough to understand them and help.

Specializes in Med/Surg; CVOR; CVICU.

Oh no...:( Fortunately I had an wonderful precepter, for the most part. My "main" one was awesome, but sometimes acted as charge and worked on a different wing than I was going to, so I had everyone and their mother precepting me. Some people felt bad for me, but although it was a little inconsistent, I took it as a positive thing and took all the different nursing styles to make my own.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this tired and negative person. Everyone has a bad day, but it seems your whole orienting experience was overall not a good one. Some people just shouldn't be in nursing, ESPECIALLY precepting. You know that saying "nurses eat their young"? That is so true sometimes. I had a nurse make me CRY one time. I didn't let her know it....but still! Ugh! Be yourself and don't let anyone let you down ok?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tabitha: [Quite] "I am one nurse in America who is looking for answers and would love to generate a thoughtful discussion to that end. There are pockets of us who are willing to stand up and fight;" Your post was amazing. I wonder how we can promote this end to the "lateral violence" we experience. Who do you suggest we fight against? I believe that there really has to be a lower nurse/pt ratio, and that corporate decisions for "productivity" are to blame for the amount of work that nurses have to do. There really is no such thing as charting by exception. So many things are done to prevent liability. We are professionals and yet are are treated as employees (lackeys) and are dictated to by...lawyers?...efficiency experts?...resource managers?. A thinking RN is not really wanted in many operations; a tech seems to be preferred. As far as your experience with the burned out nurse who was going to call the house sup, I would say we need to try and maintain professional speech. Good manners are not for when everything is fine; manners are for when everything is messed up! Doctors seem to have some kind of training in speaking well of everyone, as do members of Congress, even when they are calling each other jerks! It would be nice if we as nurses could develop this respect towards each other and then demand or command respect as professionals who can do x amount of high quality work and then state what is the natural limit of what we can do and that we need additional professionals to deliver the quality of care that is necessary. There is no nurse shortage---there is a staffing shortage. This is the source of burn out.

Thank you for alerting those of us who precept how our actions can look from the other side. I am truly glad for the reminder and hope my students and preceptees have a better experience than you did. I really hope your situation has improved.

Specializes in RN Education, OB, ED, Administration.
Tabitha: [Quite] "I am one nurse in America who is looking for answers and would love to generate a thoughtful discussion to that end. There are pockets of us who are willing to stand up and fight;" Your post was amazing. I wonder how we can promote this end to the "lateral violence" we experience. Who do you suggest we fight against? I believe that there really has to be a lower nurse/pt ratio, and that corporate decisions for "productivity" are to blame for the amount of work that nurses have to do. There really is no such thing as charting by exception. So many things are done to prevent liability. We are professionals and yet are are treated as employees (lackeys) and are dictated to by...lawyers?...efficiency experts?...resource managers?. A thinking RN is not really wanted in many operations; a tech seems to be preferred. As far as your experience with the burned out nurse who was going to call the house sup, I would say we need to try and maintain professional speech. Good manners are not for when everything is fine; manners are for when everything is messed up! Doctors seem to have some kind of training in speaking well of everyone, as do members of Congress, even when they are calling each other jerks! It would be nice if we as nurses could develop this respect towards each other and then demand or command respect as professionals who can do x amount of high quality work and then state what is the natural limit of what we can do and that we need additional professionals to deliver the quality of care that is necessary. There is no nurse shortage---there is a staffing shortage. This is the source of burn out.

Hi Goodneighbor!

Ii have added this topic to the Nursing Advocacy/Activism/Politics forum. Check it out and join in the discussion. I'd be very interested in hearing your thoughts. I agree that we do not have a shortage of nurses and that the problem is that hospitals aren't hiring (i.e. working short)! Please head over to my other discussion at: https://allnurses.com/nursing-activism-healthcare/we-experiencing-mass-439599.html

You are very insightful!

Keep thinking for yourself, it's our only hope.

Tabitha

Specializes in M/S, ICU, ER, PACU.

UGH.... this type of thing gets me so mad. There is no reason that a fellow nurse should treat another nurse as she has treated you. I am sorry for her attitude. What I have learned working with such people as you have described is that for the most part they lack self confidence and knowledge. They put you down to build themselves up. How sad is that? I just don't get why nurses treat each other like that.

I am glad you are through with this preceptor and never be mean to a new grad or nursing student or someone you will precept.

Take care and good luck.

What I am really good at is assessing the patient, listening to them, interpreting the S&S they describe and putting it into "doctorese" so they can obtain apropriate treatment. I am also a good caregiver in that I can make someone feel better with a footbath while they talk, for instance: things that make up the magic of nursing, in short. I like to research their disease and find nursing interventions that address the discomfort they are having. This is good for chronic diseases as well as acute. Once I had care of a person who had Gastroparesis, among other things. This person started spewing Tube feed out of his mouth.The LVN who came on gave him an injection of Ondansetron. However I had managed the problem before by checking the residual (350ml!) and turning off the pump as necessary to tolerate the feed, assessing for constipation, etc, and recommending a lower rate, or just actually informing the DR of the findings. The LVN was "more efficient" according to the powers that be, and was a more desirable employee as the LVN finished the paperwork and task faster, problem solved. This is a terrible risk for aspiration, and misery. It kind of demonstrates the value of an RN. How many times have we seen a DR who says "Oh, you have nausea, take this..." when the problem is something like aversion to pureed chicken, as an example. This type of nursing takes time and thought but pushing meds seems to be the priority all too often. I don't know what this has to do with activism exactly but I think I am talking about the kind of slapdash nursing that is in vogue now in some places. I suspect Florence did a lot with just observation and caring. I wish we had the gift of time.

Specializes in Mental Health.

What a great post! I wonder what would she say if she got to read this? :D Maybe you could share with the nurse manager? No one should be treated this way.... Thanks for sharing your experience!