Coworkers - So Now That We Know What We Want To Tell Them

[bollweevil]

Why not find a way to tell them?

Nicely, of course. With courtesy, in private. Not in the middle of an insane shift, not on the spur of the moment.

Or, if you have a great manager, maybe he or she might be the one to go to and the manager can deliver the message. But I think it's usually better to do it face to face, in a quiet, adult way.

This is the trouble with Nursing, with nurses, with relationships in general. People are so afraid to be for real. We're so scared that someone will be mad at us if we just say what is truly on our minds.

There has to be a nice way to tell our relief, for instance, that their shift starts at 7, not 7:10 after they've had coffee, etc. That you need to leave on time, that their starting late makes you late for your kids getting to school, for your 2nd job, for whatever your other responsibilities are, which you really need not delineate for the relief person. Maybe you just don't like working for free - and why should you? But really, what they need to know is that, "Susie, I need you to be ready to work at 7 because I have to leave on time. So, if you need coffee during report, you need to start coming in a few minutes early to get it ready so we can start report at 7 sharp - (or 0703, if that seems like time enough for her to put her coat away and grab her report sheet). I know it's hard, I know it's not easy, but I really need to leave on time and for the last 14 years :nuke:I've had to leave late because of you getting coffee before we start report. Thank you for understanding and for helping me get out on time."

If Susie is any kind of decent type, she will comply. If not, you need to let her and your manager know that you are going to start taping report, leaving her a written report (keep a copy), or just start telling her report while she is putzing around. BTW, have you asked the manager to intervene?

The point is, sometimes we just need to find the courage and courtesy to speak up nicely and let the offender know what we need. Sometimes, they just are unaware.

Example: "John, I notice that you are not clearing your IV pumps before your shift ends. This makes it hard for me to know the correct I&O. Will you please start clearing your pumps at the end of your shift?" Maybe John just doesn't know. People are not mindreaders. Maybe they just don't know that they are doing anything wrong or offensive.

The nurses who find time to complain or play on the computer - just point out to them, "Julie, are you aware that you complain every time ___ name the condition occurs and you complain that you don't have enough time to do ___. But you are on the internet about 2 hours per shift and I wonder if you would have time to do _____ if you cut back on the computer time." Julie probably doesn't think anyone is aware that she is playing instead of working. Of course, she might challenge you on how do you know what she is doing, why are you keeping tabs on her? Reply: I just can't help but notice that, almost every time I see you, you're on the computer. And you are looking at real estate, cars, lipstick ads, whatever. I can't help but see what's on the screen. I'm really not trying to keep tabs, I just can't help but see." If you say it nicely, she might be shocked into reality.

Anyway, I just think we need to speak up and not stew. You, of course, must be the judge of who to speak up to and when in your own situation.

Another thing I have seen - If I ask someone to do something, they might get upset. If I start ordering them, they are so shocked that they just do it. "Sue, grab some clean linens for Room 2." Just an order, plain and simple. Act like you have a perfect right to do this. Because you do. You are the nurse and you are in charge. You can soften it by saying, "Mrs. Smith in 2 is dirty. Grab some clean linens for her, please, Gertie, and help her get cleaned up, would you? Thanks."

Be quietly strong. Be brave. Let your expectations be known, let your needs be known. Don't assume that others know what you need or expect or what angers and annoys you. Sometimes, we really do need to speak up.

[hikernurse]

I agree with you. As a pretty new nurse I love it when I get "feedback" (even the bad stuff ) from other nurses because I don't always know. Even the most thorough orientation isn't going to cover everything.

Like you said, a lot of it is how you say it. A matter of fact statement is pretty easy to take :). Besides, even if the other person doesn't change, it still feels good to have made your point.

[dawngloves, BSN, RN]

The point is, sometimes we just need to find the courage and courtesy to speak up nicely and let the offender know what we need. Sometimes, they just are unaware.

I'm trying to understand why I need to ask a co worker to come in on time. Isn't that just common sense?

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

I'm trying to understand why I need to ask a co worker to come in on time. Isn't that just common sense?

When you're out on the floor after report and just now realizing that your PCT is half an hour late (again!) and the entire hallway is lit up like a Christmas party, you have to wonder where the PCT left her common sense. Most of the problems we get hit with at the start of a shift are caused by call lights not being answered in a timely manner.

[foxc1121]

Sometimes action speaks louder than words. We have one particular nurse that is very vocal and complains about everything. At every staff meeting she reminds everyone that night nursing is much harder than day nursing. I was curious - so I worked several night shifts. It is my experience that both shifts have their positives and negatives. Well she couldn't complain to me about that anymore. One particular day I was trying to give her report on a heavy patient (total care) she became so upset that she had several heavy patients she spent time running around to other nurses complaining to them about her assignment (while I am still trying to give her report) Since I get written up for incidental overtime, I gathered my things, clocked out and left. I never did finish giving her report. I was worried that she would complain to the NM that I left, and get written up yet again, but that never happened. I later find out that no one likes this particular nurse, she does the same thing with everyone and everyone just takes it. I shared what I did with them and they agreed that they were going to do the same. If she tries to do this to me again, I will just tell her, politely, please let me finish giving you report, if you have a problem with your assignment, then take it up with the charge nurse when I am done. Maybe the fact that she is the godmother to the ANMs daughter or the fact that she used to be the ANM to the current ANM in another hospital makes her feel that she can do whatever she wants. Does it sound like favoritism? I think so....

[bollweevil]

I'm trying to understand why I need to ask a co worker to come in on time. Isn't that just common sense?

Yes, but one of the replies on the thread about things we'd like to say to our coworkers but never would was about how the nurse who relieves the poster is never ready for report until 7:10 when her shift starts at 7. She gets her coffee and gossips is how it was stated, I think, before getting report. This should not be. She should be ready to work by 7:01 IMO. Put your coat and purse up, use the toilet if you seriously need to, then get report. If you need coffee during report, have it ready within a minute. Do not keep the offgoing nurse waiting while you brew your coffee.

Also, in general, lots of things are common sense to one person but, apparently, not to the next. You know how that goes.

[bollweevil]

Sometimes action speaks louder than words. We have one particular nurse that is very vocal and complains about everything. At every staff meeting she reminds everyone that night nursing is much harder than day nursing. I was curious - so I worked several night shifts. It is my experience that both shifts have their positives and negatives. Well she couldn't complain to me about that anymore. One particular day I was trying to give her report on a heavy patient (total care) she became so upset that she had several heavy patients she spent time running around to other nurses complaining to them about her assignment (while I am still trying to give her report) Since I get written up for incidental overtime, I gathered my things, clocked out and left. I never did finish giving her report. I was worried that she would complain to the NM that I left, and get written up yet again, but that never happened. I later find out that no one likes this particular nurse, she does the same thing with everyone and everyone just takes it. I shared what I did with them and they agreed that they were going to do the same. If she tries to do this to me again, I will just tell her, politely, please let me finish giving you report, if you have a problem with your assignment, then take it up with the charge nurse when I am done. Maybe the fact that she is the godmother to the ANMs daughter or the fact that she used to be the ANM to the current ANM in another hospital makes her feel that she can do whatever she wants. Does it sound like favoritism? I think so....

No need to say "please" or ask her if you can finish. Just tell her, "Judy, I need to clock out on time so I don't get in trouble for incidental OT. I am going to finish report now and then you can c/o later." If you're blocking her egress, it could help her stay put.

I just am tired of us always thinking we have to get permission to assert ourselves. Let the other guy have to assert permissively. "Oh, I am upset and need to run around and c/o while you wait for me."

[KarynicaRN]

i finally spoke up to a couple of nurses that i worked with in ltc. one was coming in late every single night. shift started at 10pm. she waltzes through the door every single night at 10:15.pm. we had a huge narcotic count, report, etc. i also spoke with the same nurse and a day shift nurse about signing off for dressing changes when it was obvious by the date on the persons dressing that i had been the only one to do it for 3 days in a row. my initials and date were still on her dressing and it was a 3 times a day dressing change. i had been off 3 days and no one did the dressing change in all those days.

i did go to the don and told him about the nurse coming in late. management had an inservice and told everyone to clock in on time or be docked by one hour. that's all it took for the night nurse to show up on time.

sometimes we hate to have to tell others to be on time, do a dressing change, sign the mar if they gave the med and please give your insulins and don't leave them in the med cart for me to discover after the day nurse has long left. i have no idea whose insulin it is. when i told the don, his answer? "wow, someone didn't get their insulin!" and he walked away. way to go there sport, you really are doing a great job at being the don...not!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the great post. I'm a firm beleiver in constructive confrontation.

I'm usually an up front kind of person, not inclined to gossip behind your back, tell a manager to handle it for me, while of course choosing my battles and what's important to deal with and what I can let go of.