Back-handed compliments

Nurses General Nursing

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Anyone else ever been given the crap patient load, float assignment, whatever, because "you're always so good, you can handle it..". Or the "I can't give it to XXX, because she can't handle it, isn't fast, is lazy, whatever".

Near as I can tell (got this from 2 different units on 2 different hospitals), it pays to be "less competent", "slow", even "lazy", because then no one expects anything from you.... right?

Argh.

Specializes in Tele, ICU, ER.

When the "She can't handle it, etc" is one of TPTB favorites, makes it much more irritating too. If *I* tried to get away with being lazy, not handling "it" "(whatever "it" is), or whatever, I'd be written up in a NY minute.

Yeah it's a compliment - and I really don't mind taking tough assignments - actually I take pride in give good care under those kind of conditions - but NOT when I'm to change my assignment half way through my shift simply *because* someone else is coming in that "needs" to be here or there cause they can't handle the tougher, more-work-involved, situation.

Back-handed compliment indeed!

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Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

OK our clinical ladder required being a preceptor. I ended up with several additional nurses because _____________ also a senior RN didn't LIKE to precept. Hey I liked it, BUT I also liked the extra 7% salary for doing it. Ms Thing RN got the same 7%.

One of my newbies gave me the ultimate left handed compliment.

"Wow you can still get down on the floor to set up the pleurevac?"

"Ms Thing RN says she doesn't do it but then she IS older than you."

OK! too old to set it up but not old enough to claim I can't?

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A nurse I work with calls it "Performance Penalty".

nell

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Specializes in ER, Tele, L&D. ICU.

I find that happens in every workplace as well, but I am especially noticing it recently. I work with a total lazy-do-the-bare-minimum nurse who does just enough to get by. I work in a Birthing Center and it is an always changing environment and this nurse does her Q-whatever-vitals and assessment and otherwise never sets foot in the patients room. I don't know how she does heath-teaching, breastfeeding support or whatever because she is always at the desk. She also has a student working with her and lets her do everything without checking up on her.

I always get the "well we gave YOU the laboring patient and PP assignment because I know you can handle it". I like that they feel I am competent but sometimes it gets a bit much.

Plus because I am often the charge nurse on my shift I am always bombarded with questions and sometime it gets overwhelming and that other chiqita gets off with doing the basics to get to the end of the shift. This is a nurse that will call every unit (our unit is huge and comprised of five sub-units), do an ALL-PAGE in the middle of the night because one of my patients waaay on the other wing needs pain meds! We have a Pyxis and all have codes...put the People magazine down and go do it!:angryfire

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I need to learn assertiveness!

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.

The worst one, by far, is when I'm called "flexible". What does that mean? I'm not a gymnast, I can't do splits:monkeydance: . If I really were flexible, my husband would sure appreciate it. I think it means I put up with alot of crap. But only as much as I want to. They THINK that i'm flexible, but I'm really just doing a good job and working my butt off. I believe that one day someone important will notice that I work my butt off and it will pay off. I choose to take these backhanded compliments in a good way, considering a backhanded compliment is better than no compliment at all. Don't get me wrong, I don't let anyone take advantage of me:nono: , but if I really do know how to do something better or am more familiar with something, I will take the assignment proudly. Someday, someone will take notice and see who is working and who is sitting on their butts :devil: bitching.

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Specializes in vascular, med surg, home health , rehab,.

This post read my mind. Been a nurse for 18 years, I love what I do and take very good care of my people.Over and beyond. Hate the politics. Precepted several new grads and as they have a "have a pulse" policy to hiring, some lawsuits waiting to happen. Have stressed myself out doing it, stayed 2-3 late every shift to chart in favor of trying to teach. And had "she doesn't know blah, blah". its your fault she screwed up. or she feels she isn't getting what she needs from you, boo hoo. I just have lost it. What they expect of me is hard enough. I hate orienting/precepting. Today I was told I have too. Really? Fine. if they can follow, I will show her the ropes and 2 weeks, done. Any more, sorry. Just haven't got the energy anymore. Had to become the one who they know they can't stick it to anymore because, shock, she realizes it and says so. I imagine they'll be looking for a new preceptor pretty quick. I hate that this is the way it is, I was new myself, many times. Just completely drained with the usual workload, pt care, computer charting, emar, etc, and now I have to be a nurse instrutor/computer whizz, etc, etc?. Stick a brush up my &*$! and I will do house keeping as well.

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Specializes in Emergency.
This post read my mind. Been a nurse for 18 years, I love what I do and take very good care of my people.Over and beyond. Hate the politics. Precepted several new grads and as they have a "have a pulse" policy to hiring, some lawsuits waiting to happen. Have stressed myself out doing it, stayed 2-3 late every shift to chart in favor of trying to teach. And had "she doesn't know blah, blah". its your fault she screwed up. or she feels she isn't getting what she needs from you, boo hoo. I just have lost it. What they expect of me is hard enough. I hate orienting/precepting. Today I was told I have too. Really? Fine. if they can follow, I will show her the ropes and 2 weeks, done. Any more, sorry. Just haven't got the energy anymore. Had to become the one who they know they can't stick it to anymore because, shock, she realizes it and says so. I imagine they'll be looking for a new preceptor pretty quick. I hate that this is the way it is, I was new myself, many times. Just completely drained with the usual workload, pt care, computer charting, emar, etc, and now I have to be a nurse instrutor/computer whizz, etc, etc?. Stick a brush up my &*$! and I will do house keeping as well.

Why do you hate to precept? Not only will you have an extra pair of hands, eyes, and ears to help you with your assignment, but most importantly you will have the opportunity to teach somebody the RIGHT way to do things. Show this new nurse eveything that you can so that when she floats back to your floor, or you follow her after her shift is over, or she takes care of your loved one, she'll be doing nursing the way it should be done.

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