Abusers Win

crippersmom · May 21, 2009

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You did the right thing.
BTW, I'm not sure state would disbelieve you if you called again. On the other hand, if an investigation is underway, they will hopefully find out about the other incidents of abuse.
I've been through something similar myself and it was emotionally devastating. I don't know what the outcome of my situation will be except that I quit my position. I could no longer work in a facility that tacitly condoned staff ineptitude and negligence that resulted in actual harm. The DON knew how I felt and I would not be surprised if he/she is retaliating against me when I seek other employment.
Nevertheless, no job is worth sacrificing your personal and professional integrity. You are right; the facility is wrong. Hopefully karma will bite them in the backside SOON!
Prayers and best wishes for you at this very difficult time. (And please check your private messages.)

Thanks so much for your incredibly kind words. I've read your private message, but I'm new enough here, that I don't know how to respond to you through there. It's hard to find nurses whom believe as we do. They're just not turning out "moral" and "caring" nurses these days.

Thanks again. And again.

crippersmom · May 21, 2009

No kidding. I went by way of chain of command and all that it guranteed was that I would lose my job. Why do we get punished for doing our jobs?

Good news though. Another nurse, and that CNA that I spoke with last night, along with another one are coming out. They've decided to report all the abuse that they've seen and subsequently reported to the same supervisor. One of them even said that the ADON, my supervisor, was terminated from another job for the same behaviors. So...that's three more reports to state. Surely they will follow up?

crippersmom · May 21, 2009

I reported a verbal abuse incident and exactly nothing was done about it.
I wasn't fired for reporting it, but their so-called investigation said the charges were "unfounded".
And I swear to you all, that right here in front of God and everybody, I told the truth about what was said.
But they said I didn't have a witness. Well, WTH??? I go in there to do my work and I am by myself with the rest of the staff working in there who are not in my department. So how can I have a witness??? I am one nurse......I am alone when in there doing my med pass. How or where can I get a witness? Pull one out of a hat? They are going to stick together....they won't stick by me, because they are together in their department and I am in medical.
No one else would come forward and support me. I had to report it myself. And they gave the abuser a "lie detector" test.....something that is not even admissable in a court of law because they are so unreliable.....and he passed the lie detector.
So there you go. It does no good to report anything.
If you don't have someone to stand up with you and support you, you're screwed.
And therefore so is your patient who you're trying to do right by.
But you know what....things do have a way of coming back around.......
The same person I reported, I believe, is now under another investigation.
Altho, another patient had to suffer a physical injury to get it this far.
If they had listened to me the first time, this second one may not have happened. But I could be wrong, though.....I don't have details. Since I'm not involved with this second one, all I hear is info from the sidewalk.
But time will tell the story. And I can be patient.
And God knows the truth, too.

Well said. And God does know the truth. And so does Karma. I just found out that this same ADON was fired from anoher facility for the exact same thing, only it also involved racism. I can believe that because I've heard her make racial slurs a couple of times. Unfortunately, we are alone. Unless we unite and stand together. Alot of times, though, nurses are too worried about their own jobs and such to stick together. That's how our society has become. I'm getting out of nursing. Not because of the patients, but because of this crap.

Keepstanding, ASN, RN · May 21, 2009

crispersmom, you have done the right thing. as they say "no good deed goes unpunished". truer words were never spoken. remain true to your convictions. they will get their's one day. i wish you luck as you find a new job. hold your head high my friend.

praiser :heartbeat

wallshavears · May 21, 2009

:down:i am overwhelmed by the replies to this problem. if you could only see it from another perspective in which i have :angryfire. you nurses have it much better than the mothers have it when it comes to home health care within your own home. at any time, any place, and with or without witnesses, it is as it is: the customer (patient-mother) is "never" right :bugeyes: .

as unbelievable as it sounds, truly trust me, if you think that any agency is going to take the word of the parent on behalf of the child instead of their nurse they contracted into your private home? :nono: dont! dont do that. there are four corners of politics in the home health care field regarding "abuse, neglect, honesty, dishonesty and boundries" that stick together no matter what, unless of corse they have a soul: (1) the home health agency and all its people who work there (2) :nono: the nurse who is making up the incident / confrontation between her and the family member (3) :yeah: the state in which you live in (4) :no: the department of whom you receive services.

sad but true. i am very sorry for you that have been "traitored" and "shoved under the rug" in order to pertect whomever, but

as they said to myself: "thats just the way it goes - you might as well get used to it"! :banghead: so i did, i spun as i :lol2: !!!!

god bless you all, and for whatever its worth - keep your ears to the grindstone. :bow:

from tampa, fl.

shannieliz · May 21, 2009

I agree that you did the right thing, maybe when they investigate further they will find that they were wrong in firing you and offer your job back. Although I'm sure you won't want to go back there. Can't you get them for wrongful firing, and collect unemployment? I really don't understand how they could have fired you. I reported emotional abuse in my facility and 6 people got fired, I had feelings of guilt because the accused were all my friends, but I am over that now, thanks to the Great nurses that write in to Allnurses I hope that everyones advice helps you through this rough time. I guess I never knew that you could be fired if an accusation was investigated and dismissed. No wonder so many people don't say anything. You protected you patient and thats all that matters !! :yeah:

crippersmom · May 21, 2009

I was terminated for excessive tardiness, in spite of the fact that other nurses there are MUCH more tardy and more frequently than I. They had to find a reason, so they did. I'm angry. I've cried. I miss my patients. I loved my job. Loved my job. I love my patients, still. They are wonderful people. Wonderful. Just got out of the official meeting. The Administrator was there, the DON and the ADON, who stood in a corner snickering the entire time. God was watching. I have to remind myself that. I'm hopefully going to get unemployment. I have an attorney and we'll go after them. I'm not putting my "dukes" down. I know that I get despondent. Who wouldn't? But if I quit, then I'm no better then the abusers. Period. It's hard, it's scarey and it's worse than I could convey. I was paid very well there....but......my morality is not for sale. And if I confront another problem like this in the future, I will glove up once again. We only lose when we quit the fight. And my Daddy didn't raise no quitter! :yeah:

It's not over. What happened today was a necessary event. I've written a Senator about this. I've notified the Ombusman. I'm not stopping. If I do, I give them power. No more. If I were the patient, I wouldn't want the nurse to quit on me. Would you?

pagandeva2000, LPN · May 21, 2009

One of the things I hate about nursing is that it seems that we are not protected or supportive even of each other. My primary position is working in a clinic, and while I do go to the floors per diem every now and then, I try to avoid doing it often because I know that situations like this arise more often and don't want to be a witness to abuse.

Sometimes, what leads to abuse (not that it is an excuse, mind you), is the horrible circumstances that nurses are working under, where there is no support, the nurse to patient ratios are too high causing stress and nurses take short cuts, take it out on the patients, and the cycle never seems to stop. It is a horrible situation to be afraid for your job day after day. What disturbs me is that while most of us wait so feverently for karma, it seems that the perpetrators get by with their garbage, anyhow, making us think that we pray for this in vain. Very disturbing...

crippersmom · May 21, 2009

Moogie - I've never been a DON. I'm an LVN. Mine's the same as my username....You'll find me at yahoo....

shannieliz · May 22, 2009

I was terminated for excessive tardiness, in spite of the fact that other nurses there are MUCH more tardy and more frequently than I. They had to find a reason, so they did. I'm angry. I've cried. I miss my patients. I loved my job. Loved my job. I love my patients, still. They are wonderful people. Wonderful. Just got out of the official meeting. The Administrator was there, the DON and the ADON, who stood in a corner snickering the entire time. God was watching. I have to remind myself that. I'm hopefully going to get unemployment. I have an attorney and we'll go after them. I'm not putting my "dukes" down. I know that I get despondent. Who wouldn't? But if I quit, then I'm no better then the abusers. Period. It's hard, it's scarey and it's worse than I could convey. I was paid very well there....but......my morality is not for sale. And if I confront another problem like this in the future, I will glove up once again. We only lose when we quit the fight. And my Daddy didn't raise no quitter!
It's not over. What happened today was a necessary event. I've written a Senator about this. I've notified the Ombusman. I'm not stopping. If I do, I give them power. No more. If I were the patient, I wouldn't want the nurse to quit on me. Would you?

:bowingpurYeah for you, don't let them stomp you. You sound very determined, and I hope you get some answers soon:bow:

crippersmom · May 22, 2009

Well, okay. I've written four US Senators and one state Representative. Let's see how mnay of our politicians give a darn about the people that fought for our rights here in America.

pagandeva2000, LPN · May 22, 2009

Well, okay. I've written four US Senators and one state Representative. Let's see how mnay of our politicians give a darn about the people that fought for our rights here in America.

Please keep us posted on how things go, and I salute you for your courage! :bow: