a nurse's life

[bravegirlamy]

Someone sent this to me via email & I thought it was really cute...Hope you guys enjoy.

> > Q: Did you hear about the nurse who died and went

> > straight to hell?

> > > A: It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn't at work anymore!

> >

> > You know you're a nurse if.....

> >

> > You believe every patient needs TLC:

> >

> > Thorazine,

> > Lorazepam and

> > Compazine.

> >

> > You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley

> > one

> > night.

> >

> > You believe not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.

> >

> > Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

> >

> > You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in

> > town

> > by heart.

> >

> > You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.

> >

> > Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.

> >

> > When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your

> > shoes.

> >

> > Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the

> > scissors

> > and clamps in your pockets.

> >

> > You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing

> > you

> > than he can.

> >

> > You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to

> > deliver.

> >

> > You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and

> > triggers "flash backs."

> >

> > You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if

> > someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.

> >

> > You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another

> > table throw up.

> >

> > You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you

> > became

> > a nurse.

> >

> > Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of

> > them

> > on you.

> >

> > You can intubate your friends at parties.

> >

> > You don't get excited about blood loss...unless it's your own.

> >

> > You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince

> >

> > the physician is more difficult."

> >

> > You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

> >

> > You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker

> > and to HOLLER if they need help.

> >

> > Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

> >

> > Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

> >

> > When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of

> > the answer.

> >

> > You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery

> > waiting lines.

> >

> > You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner,

> > break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

> >

> > You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll

> > drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

> >

> > You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.

> >

> > IF YOU ARE NOT A NURSE, AND HAVE BEEN SENT THIS BY A FRIEND WHO

> > IS, IT'S JUST TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND OUR MINDSET, AND "QUESTIONABLE"

> > MENTAL STATUS/ INSANITY. MOST OF THE TIME WE FUNCTION, IN SPITE OF THIS

> > SICK

> > SENSE OF HUMOR, FAIRLY NORMALLY, AND VERY RESPONSIBLY! BELIEVE ME, THIS

> > IS HOW WE ALL THINK, ALL THE TIME! SCARY, HUH ?

> >

> >

>

> :roll

[renerian, BSN, RN]

Liked the hell one.....

renerian:chuckle

[hoolahan, ASN, RN]

LOL! But eating popcorn out of the clean bedpan...eeeewwww!!!! I draw the line there!

[jacolaur]

Did you make those up!!!! They are very funny!!!:roll :chuckle :roll :chuckle

[LPNtoBSNstudent, BSN, RN]

Those were great, Thanks for sharing!

[flowerchild]

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

LOL, been there!

[nursedawn67, LPN]

Too funny...but yet in a strange way soooooo true!