"Maybe you shouldn't be a nurse"

Jo Dirt · Oct 13, 2007

An instructor who says that to someone is a ****** teacher. It's that simple.

Why?

Perhaps the teacher lacked in the diplomacy department but maybe the teacher was being honest as well. I don't believe it is right to look down on another with the intention of belittling them but I also believe in honesty and I don't think there is a nurse here who would say everyone is cut out to be a nurse. Truth be known there are a lot of nurses who realize they aren't cut out for what they're doing. I'm one of them. I'm not dangerous to patients or incapable of doing the work but emotionally it drains me.

Of course, if you're determined to prove the instructors wrong do it but don't let it get you down and don't think all criticism is meant to hurt your feelings.

SaderNurse05, BSN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

Don't flame me please, but in my experience several instructors had their "pets". i saw people being checked off who froze, if the professor liked them they were given a cue and on occasion walked through a skill and others were met with either silence or the famous "maybe you should not be a nurse" and even "I 've seen girls like you and you will not make it as a nurse". On the second one, she graduated in Sigma Tau, worked in an amazing SICU unit for 2 years and is now in FNP school while working full time. Oh yeah, she is 24. I applaud instructors who help their students build their confidence. I was lucky to have some of those and stay off the poo poo list. We did talk to our advisor, next step dean but to no avail. That is another story. Hang in there and the more you practice the more you realize everyone has to LEARN this stuff, no one is born knowing sterile technique or how to do a head to toe assessment.

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

Hey everyone. I'm finishing up my first semester of nursing school (finals next week :uhoh21:) and today we were doing skills pass off. Well, through the course of the day we had about three people leaving the skills lab sobbing, apparently after being told they were not going to be passed off on a particular area. We've also had a couple of instances throughout the semester when an instructor has told someone they "probably shouldn't be a nurse". This doesn't seem right to me. I understand that it is in the instructors' best interest to produce intelligent, competent nurses...but is it necessary to tell someone they aren't "cut out" for the job in their FIRST semester?
What do you think? I just wanted some opinions.

Many of us had instructors who said this, it's typical. Some of the best nurses I know had this said to them. At my nursing school there were several intructors who "shouldn't have become instructors" and definately wouldn't be able to handle bedside nursing. There's an old saying "Those who can't do, teach". Not always the case, but I've run into it before. And sometimes "Those who teach, can't" :rolleyes:

Terri W · Oct 13, 2007

As a faculty member for a Community College ADN program, this subject is very "close to my heart". I can only speak for myself and how I approach students who are stuggling - even in thier first term (we have 3 terms each acedemic year - rather than 2 semesters) . Our program requires students to demonstrate abilities on a very basic level during that first term --- bathing & hygeine, vital signs, and physical assessment.

It is very rare that a student is unable to function at this basic level; but it does happen. When a student is so fearful that they are unable to enter a room and speak to a patient or family member (or even unable to manage a situation in skills lab with maniquins) it creates an extrememly uncomfortable situation for everyone. On these RARE occasions I have suggested to a student they may want to consider if nursing is for them. (I never try to make the decision for them). However, should they reach the end of the term and remain unable to function appropriately in the skills lab and/or clinical setting, it will result in failure for the course.

Whatever students may think, most instructors do not plan to "weed someone out" or enjoy their failure (although I remember thinking the same thing as a student!) Please consider that as a student you are only getting one side of the story. AND...for student confidentiality reasons you will never hear the faculty's side.

I'm sure there are nursing instructors who have less than positive communication skills. The rest of us are all disappointed when that happens! The most important thing to remember is why students are there in the first place -- nursing needs you.

HM2VikingRN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

I would not accept those kinds of comments. Skills can be learned. Critical thinking can be learned. It is far better to stop a skills test in progress and ask a student to review the material than to fail them.

The thing that I have thought about the most is that if a student is failed out that trainng seat is essentially a lost seat because that person cannot be replaced until a new class starts.

HM2VikingRN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

On another note my mother who is retired nursing faculty) said that she was personally heartbroken (as were her coworkers) any time that one of their students failed a NCLEX because "we put our hearts" into our students.

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

As a faculty member for a Community College ADN program, this subject is very "close to my heart". I can only speak for myself and how I approach students who are stuggling - even in thier first term (we have 3 terms each acedemic year - rather than 2 semesters) . Our program requires students to demonstrate abilities on a very basic level during that first term --- bathing & hygeine, vital signs, and physical assessment.
It is very rare that a student is unable to function at this basic level; but it does happen. When a student is so fearful that they are unable to enter a room and speak to a patient or family member (or even unable to manage a situation in skills lab with maniquins) it creates an extrememly uncomfortable situation for everyone. On these RARE occasions I have suggested to a student they may want to consider if nursing is for them. (I never try to make the decision for them). However, should they reach the end of the term and remain unable to function appropriately in the skills lab and/or clinical setting, it will result in failure for the course.
Whatever students may think, most instructors do not plan to "weed someone out" or enjoy their failure (although I remember thinking the same thing as a student!) Please consider that as a student you are only getting one side of the story. AND...for student confidentiality reasons you will never hear the faculty's side.
I'm sure there are nursing instructors who have less than positive communication skills. The rest of us are all disappointed when that happens! The most important thing to remember is why students are there in the first place -- nursing needs you.

In my opinion you shouldn't say that to a new student. I happen to have been one of those less than confident students who had never worked in healthcare before nursing school. Yes, it took me 20 minutes standing outside the room of my first patient and get my nerve up to enter. Another student also had the same problem, I'll never forget us standing there together, it was in a SNF unit of a hospital. My eventual solution to increase my comfort level was to get a nursing assitant job in a hospital after my first semester.

I also was a student who had performance anxiety in skills labs. Fortunately our skills check off teacher was a very pleasant woman who didn't make deflating comments such as 'maybe they should reconsider nursing'.

I've been a nurse for 14 years and have a high skill level, so you can't predict where someone will go by their performance in nursing 101.

Rage, RN · Oct 13, 2007

Terri, I agree with what you say in that "most" instructors don't plan to weed out students. But in using the word "most" it leaves the door open for "some".

The most important thing I have learned during my time at college is that beyond anything the safety of the patient comes first. No if's, and's, or but's about it. With regard to that, if a student is so incompetent that they're obviously going to be a danger to a patient and the instructor is so astute that they can determine that within the first semester. Then the natural selection process of being in college will weed that student out, without the instructor intervention.

Dreams are built on hope, hope is fortified with progress, progress is directed by focus, focus comes by application. Telling a student that they "should not be a nurse" is destroying the student from the top down instead of letting the natural "weeding" process begin from the bottom up. And since the door was left opened, "some" instructors do, do that..............

Terri W · Oct 13, 2007

I would not accept those kinds of comments. Skills can be learned. Critical thinking can be learned. It is far better to stop a skills test in progress and ask a student to review the material than to fail them.
The thing that I have thought about the most is that if a student is failed out that trainng seat is essentially a lost seat because that person cannot be replaced until a new class starts.

While it is true that some programs continue with an "unfilled seat", many programs use these "openings" to be supportive of students who left the program in the past for various reasons. One of the things our program does is work more closely with these reentry students to reduce the chance of them being unsuccessful again. Many times these students suceed the second time because they have changed how they study and prepare - not because the program expectations have changed.

Terri W · Oct 13, 2007

In my opinion you shouldn't say that to a new student. I happen to have been one of those less than confident students who had never worked in healthcare before nursing school. Yes, it took me 20 minutes standing outside the room of my first patient and get my nerve up to enter. Another student also had the same problem, I'll never forget us standing there together, it was in a SNF unit of a hospital. My eventual solution to increase my comfort level was to get a nursing assitant job in a hospital after my first semester.
I also was a student who had performance anxiety in skills labs. Fortunately our skills check off teacher was a very pleasant woman who didn't make deflating comments such as 'maybe they should reconsider nursing'.
I've been a nurse for 14 years and have a high skill level, so you can't predict where someone will go by their performance in nursing 101.

One of the difficulties with communicating through words on a screen is that they can easily be misunderstood. I would never suggest anything negative to a student in their first check-off or first clinical day. I was referring to someone who continues to struggle during repeated attempts in skills lab or is still not able to provide care in the clinical setting after several days. My suggestion that they consider whether nursing is for them comes from experience. I have gently encouraged students whose reasons for entering nursing school have more to do with pleasing their parents, husband/wife, etc. -- or to make ends meet -- than a personal desire to be a nurse.

With that said, I would add another reason to counsel with students during their first term. I monitor students for over 60 hours (in the hospital setting) before I evaluate them "officially". However, it would be neither fair nor compassionate to avoid discussing concerns about their performance until then -- how can a student work on areas for improvement if they aren't made aware before the grading "deadline"?

About your first experience outside the patient's room. This is so common that I doubt any instructor would be suprised or see this as reason for major concern on the first day. I expect that some of my students will have this type of anxiety. My response is generally: "Why don't we go meet your patient together?"

catlvr · Oct 13, 2007

I expect that some of my students will have this type of anxiety. My response is generally: "Why don't we go meet your patient together?"

Terri W, you sound like a fantastic teacher, and I wish that you had you for clinicals!

I"m a new LPN, but an old grey as well (40). There are so many paths in nursing that I think that it is impossible for an instructor to say that you will not succeed. I have found that most instructors use a hospital med/surg floor as the basis for their opinion on your potential success as a nurse. BUT - many of us will not go that route! Some will go straight to LTC, a school, or so many other places. Few of us like to be unsuccessful; if it turns out that we are not very good at a job, we generally move to something that maximizes our strengths, and THAT is the time to "weed out" by self-selection.

e

RheatherN, ASN, RN, EMT-P · Oct 14, 2007

I also had some type of same experience. My dean of nursing had to sign off so i could take a gen ed 2nd semester as well as my full load core classes. She signed off and told me that, "i will sign it, because you wont pass anyhow". I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL I GRADUATE, and go back to her. I am a blunt person usually, but couldnt bring myself to say something and jepordize my name int he program. i dont know what she could do to make my life hell. And when i do say something to her, i swear if she says that she said it to get me going or make me want to pass more, i am going to scream! she made me pissed off, didnt make me try any harder, in fact i tried to not think about what she said, but i am hurt as hell to this day! i am 1/2 way thru 3rd sem and cant wait til the end of 4th to talk to her. GRRRR now i am mad! shouldnt have read this post! lol..