Support Stickie for New nurses who are not coping

janice_c67, BSN, RN · Dec 31, 2011

I have been working on a med/surg/oncology unit for two months, I graduated June 2010 and didn't start working til Oct 2011, 16 months is a long time and alot of the things I learned got lost along the way. I have horrible time management and I feel like I have no clue what I am doing. I am forgetting why I chose nursing because I am do overwhelmed and stressed every day. Nomally I stress eat and gain weight during the hard times but I have lost 10 lbs in the last two months because my stomach is constantly tied up in knots. And I have nightmares every single night like I can't shut my brain off, I dream that I am expected to do procedures that I don't know what they are and I have no one to help me, or that I am making mistakes or losing my job. I don't know if I can hang on til the magical 6 month mark, I just want to go back to my carefree days as a phlebotomist :bluecry1:

janice_c67, BSN, RN · Dec 31, 2011

I am in my mid 40's and second career too, I think it does take longer to learn things, that hadn't occurred to me! Ugh it's so difficult, I am really struggling and I have never considered myself a dumb person but this is so overwhelming, I feel so stupid that I can't seem to get up to speed when other new grads are not having as much trouble as I am

smwiller · Dec 31, 2011

Oh dear Janice, I made it just 12 days shy of a year. How, I don't know. 12/29 was my last day of "floor nursing." I don't regret getting the experience, but it was the hardest, most stressful year of my life. What hospitals expect of RNs on a busy med surg unit is unreasonable and (I think) puts every nurse and every patient at risk. I am moving on to a position as a field RN for hospice and I can hardly wait. I know every job has its ups and downs and I am sure my new one will have challenges of its own, but I will not miss coming home crying, having nightmares about making mistakes passing meds, or the myriad other stresses that threatened my emotional and physical health. I guess, being on the back side of a year, my advice is hang in there, take each day as it comes. Savor those splended "nurse moments" -- you know the ones -- the times when you know you have made a difference in the life of a patient or a family member or when a co-worker tells you you are a good nurse.

But when you know you are done, whether its four months, six months or 10 years, do yourself a favor and move on. I can say that it does become slightly easier, I did stop dreaming about work as often and had fewer days when I came home crying as time went on. But I did know by December that if I didn't find a new job, I was going to quit without one.

Whatevery you decide, don't forget why you became a nurse. There's a lot of jobs out there and you will find the right one.

Sheila

azilliRN · Jan 2, 2012

Janice;

Please do not despair!! You are in a wonderful field of nursing - I too am in my early 40's, second career, as well.

I have had many days where I still despair and wonder why I became a nurse. January 11th will be two years that I have been working in a Family Practic Clinicand as an RN. This is the year that I will be making a change to something else and hopefully more rewarding. The company I am working for won't allow new nurses to transfer to another department unless they have completed two years - changing at six months was not an option for me. Every day I go to work, I feel aprehensive and I have knots in my stomach, still after almost two years. Plus, I still do have nightmares and carry my work home with me. I know it is not a good thing to do but sometimes it is hard to put it aside. I'm always worried that I will be written up, fired, or told that I am not a good nurse. However, my nightmares have decreased somewhat but I still get them.

I too am worried about my skills. I am certified to start IV's but where does one get a chance to do that in a clinical setting? Hardly ever, and you are not alone in feeling like you are lacking in your skills. I am there with you. However, giving injections, rooming (every now and then), and mostly doing phone triage has become quite a drag for me. At this point I feel like I won't be able to pick up the pace in another department. However, if I feel uncomfortable doing something, I won't do it unless someone is there to help me. I am always worried that I will hurt a patient or do something that is life threating. If I can't do something, I say I won't do it because I am uncomfortable. You have to stand up for yourself. Not to worry, we all get nervous and feel inadequate. Believe me, I do every day. I work with some good nurses who have done the floor for years and they keep reminding me why I went into my field and that I am a good nurse. It helps on those days when I despair and feel discouraged.

I think you should stick it out for at least six months total and in the meantime, keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities. You and I will find an area of nursing that we will like and fit into. It just might take some time, hopefully not too long.

You are a good nurse with a warm heart. Please keep that in mind and walk with your head held high and learn as much as you can so that when you bail, you know you have done your very best. We are in a proud profession and should rejoice in that. We are needed and will find our niche some day.

Please keep me posted on your venture, I wish you the best of luck. We will get through this!

Alexandra

sweetie_pie · Jan 3, 2012

I found this on scrubsmag.com the other day and thought this might help give anyone struggling little piece of mind. Even though I have yet to even start nursing school, I found that this helped alleviate my fears of if I'm smart enough, capable enough, and so on since I have a bachelor's degree in a completely different field (econ and business) and have already had moments of doubting my ability to do this! After reading this I promptly saved it on my computer so that I can refer to it when I'm feeling low these next few years:

Here is the recipe for saving your sanity and maybe your career:

Refuse to panic. You can perk up some when the pressure is on, but panic tosses reason out the window. Tell yourself that you can do this. Take a deep breath. And then do it.

Stay connected to healthy co-workers. Ask for help when you need it. Build others up and hope some of that goodness comes back to you when you need it. Reach out to someone else who's having a bad day. It's amazing how that can arrest a downward spiral, in them and in you.

Keep the big picture in mind. Take a step back to ask yourself what's most important at that moment. Prioritize. Reassess now and then. But whatever you do, keep on keeping on.

Just say no to shutting down. Don't fall apart. Don't drop out. Don't give up. Don't quit.

Even if you have to regroup later, don't make any major decision in the midst of an emotional meltdown. Just a few minutes (or hours or days) can make a world of difference.

Borrow someone else's perspective (make sure they're trustworthy and in your corner) when yours is shot. Take time to process your emotions. Learn to set aside worries (write them down, talke to a trusted confidant, pray about them), and turn off the "endless loop"--that litany of all your faults and errors==that prevents you from sleeping or enjoying your time away from the job.

Jettison the tendency to beat yourself up--that helps no one! Determine that you will treat yourself well, no matter what. Make a nice meal. Take cookies to a neighbor. Cuddle with someone you love. Substitute a calming mantra for the barbed wire accusations of self-condemnation.

Make an action plan for yourself that will improve both your skills and your disposition. Learn the difference between who you are and what you do. Cultivate and show gratitude.

Look at each shift, not as another loop around the noose, but as a fresh start.

Try to connect in healthy ways with your co-workers and give them a chance to draw closer to you. Be aware that while each of your flaws shows up as a permanent aircraft carrier on your radar, othe rpeople are most concerned with their own lives and they see your errors as little blips that fall off their screen pretty quickly.

Do not embrace intentional hurt. Hold any criticism at arm's length. Examine the thoughts and extract anything helpful. Give the rest a vigorous toss the way you would a live hand grenade. Thank those who care about you for their concern and input. Thank even your foes for the truth tucked into their harsh words. It confuses them greatly.

At the same time, don't look to your job to validate your existence. Get your strength and personal affirmation from those you love.

this battle takes place in your head and in your heart. But the good news is that you are in charge of deciding who wins. Please, please, please, pick you!

Hope this helped someone :) Good luck to all of you! Your stories continue to inspire me every day. Oh, and janice_c67, I stress eat too haha. Chocolate chips and peanut butter anyone?? :w00t:

azilliRN · Jan 5, 2012

Wow, what great advice. Thanks Sweetie Pie for passing this on. Unfortunately, I can't eat chocolate cookies, but I will join you in peanut butter cookies. My favorite :)