Siblings working together issue - Help!!!!!

  1. Hello All,

    I am going crazy here ... Here my situation. Maybe you can give me some advice, Please. I graduated this past May. The first time I took my exam I failed but passed on my second try, only with God's help. Now, I have literally been looking for work for some time now since June and have only been told they are only looking for 1-2 yrs experience. Sure everyone has heard that line one time toooooo many.

    OK, the two places I do know that's hiring are home visiting agencies. Both of them I faxed my resume but only put that I was looking for part-time work because at that time that's what they were hiring for. But I wasn't considered because I didn't pass my boards yet. Now I called both companies back and they are only hiring full-time. I currently work full-time at a stable non-nursing position.. this is not my dilemma - I am willing to leave my job for nursing.
    The issue is .. My sibling works at one of the places I really, so badly want to work at. Another thing is - she is in a position where I would have to explain myself to her sometimes, even when I forget do to something - as new grads sometimes do or is that don't do

    I do understand her position in this typed of situation if the two of us are ti work at the same place. sorry I didn't mention that I have only faxed my resume to this company, only after speaking to her about it. And she said "I guess you have to do what you have to do but I don't think it would be a comfortable situation because of my title there."
    OK, I'm at the point in job searching where, if this is the one position that I'm offered, I would like to interview and accept it. Keeping in mind what I'm getting myself into but at the same time I would hate myself and I mean really hate myself if I didn't pursue this. (I'm the type of person that if I see something I want, I try my best and everything I got to get. If I get turned down I'll deal with it, but at least I tried.)

    I"m a single mom with bills and a mortgage. Leaving my current position would actually be a little drop in pay but managable. I will soon be 6 month without nursing experience and competing with the Dec grads. I didn't put myself though all of this pain, sleepless night, headaches, time lossed my child and stress for in the end, get my license and not do what I so badly want do, work and be a Nurse.

    this situation is really hurting my heart because if I can't find anything else so to pass up a position that could been offered because of how my sibling feels about it... I just don't know.

    please help me sort this out. sorry if I'm long winded and thoughts are unorganized. I'm confused right now
    all of your advice is appreciated

    Last edit by HardTimes on Oct 26, '09
  2. Visit HardTimes profile page

    About HardTimes

    Joined: Oct '09; Posts: 9; Likes: 4
    RN; from US


  3. by   L8RRN
    You are questioning it and it sounds like your sister has concerns, so I would recommend really rethinking it and look elsewhere. OR check with the employer and see how they feel about it and see if there are any options for you to fall under someone else.
    Good luck!
  4. by   MERRYWIDOW46
    Most healthcare employers will not allow family memebers to work in the same organization, in the same department or where one would be subordinate or one would manage the other. It is not ethical. Good Luck. If your sibling is in a management postion in the organization I would advise looking elsewhere. I know it is disappointing. However, these rules are for you, your sibling and most of all the facilities well being.
  5. by   NotReady4PrimeTime
    Quote from MERRYWIDOW46
    Most healthcare employers will not allow family memebers to work in the same organization, in the same department or where one would be subordinate or one would manage the other. It is not ethical.
    I wish ours didn't! We've had a number of family duos on our unit, including two mom/daughters (one still there), three husband/wife combos (one has left), one sister/sister pair (now both gone). The mom/daughter pair we have right now the mom is a senior nurse and the daughter a CNA. The daughter is as lazy as the day is long, but always makes sure her mom is taken care of. One of our married couples consists of RN wife, RT husband. They're totally professional at all times. He has actually taken a job elsewhere so they don't work together at the moment. The other couple are both RNs... he's incompetent and she covers for him. So of course they HAVE to work the same schedule. Oh, I forgot about the other pair, one the unit NP and the other her daughter-in-law. Funny how the DIL came to the unit as a very green nurse only a few years ago but is now a member of every specialty team we have. Nepotism? Nah, they don't allow that do they?
  6. by   HyperSaurus, RN
    This is an interesting thing to think about. Once I graduate, I want to be able to go into cardiac/critical care--the same specialty as my dad--and I would LOVE to work at the same hospital he is at. Somehow, it hasn't occurred to me that working with or under my dad would be considered unethical.We'd both be RNs (he is a senior ADN nurse there and I will graduate with a BSN). I think the only problem is that he would hold me to a higher accountability than others.
    Anyways, back to the OP. Honestly, judging by your hesitation as well as your sister's, is that place the one you REALLY want to be at? Can you handle actually having to answer to your sister (my sister and I definitely could never work together). Is there a possibility of being able to work under someone else?
  7. by   Meriwhen
    Whether or not it may be ethical, you need to ask yourself: are you all right working under your sister--that is, can you take orders from her? What about feedback? Even if she gave you bad feedback or negative criticism? Would you be able to answer to her because she's in charge? Even if you did something wrong? Or will you expect her to cut you slack because she's your sister?

    Likewise, she's got to think about: could I deal with my sister as my subordinate? Will she listen to me? Will she try to play the "sister" card if I tell her to do something she doesn't want to do? Will I be able to treat her as objectively as I treat the rest of my staff?

    And both of you: Would you be able to keep your professional and personal relationships seperate? Or would being "superior" and "subordinate" start to carry over into your personal lives? This may be the case, especially if the two of you were competitive or clashed a lot when growing up.

    If both or even one of you can't confidently answer these questions, then the two of you probably should not work together because it's asking for trouble. Since both of you are questioning this, then it's probably best that you look elsewhere: either in a different part of the facility that doesn't fall under her, or in a different facility. Sorry to be a damper, but that's my two cents.

    Good luck.

    ETA: I say this as someone who has had to work with a sister, and it wasn't pretty.
    Last edit by Meriwhen on Oct 30, '09
  8. by   HardTimes
    thank you all for your advice,

    i did receive a call for an interview and just decided to tell them that i accepted another offer, although i really didn't, because this situation it just too complicated.
    i got the interview without them knowing i had a sibling that works there and was going to not say anything until after an offer. i would not have had a prb receiving orders or discipline from her but not sure how it really would have played out once in that situation and environment. she did continually explain to me how ignorant, and jealous a lot of the females in her office can be when it came to the already two sets of siblings that are there.
    i ultimately realized my sister loves her job and i didn't want to be the reason for that possibly changing.

    thanks again..
    Last edit by HardTimes on Oct 30, '09
  9. by   HardTimes
    i must first say that god is good all the time.

    after countless applications and call backs from employees stating they are only looking for experience and to please feel free to call us back in 6 mo-1yr.
    i can now say... i received a job offer today and i accepted. i faxed my resume thursday, received call friday, interview was this morning and i start in 2 weeks. i am just so excited.

    it is at a addictions clinic near by as rn. with great hours and benefits- although it's a pay cut, i'll manage since i get all holidays off with add't 27 days. at my current job, my schedule is 7p-7a 4days/wk in technology and worked this for 3 yrs now and am physically exhausted. no time for my son, no life, migraines for past few months, on call every other weekend and having to go in for past 4 months because co-worker health issues...

    but now... i can breathe, live and enjoy life, have time for my family and friends and also able to attend church on sundays and midweek. i really miss sunday services.

    god is so good. he has been working with me in so many ways. one of which is him telling me to be patience and things will happen in his timing not mine.

    (pray, be faithfull to him and he will answer your prayers)

    enjoy your day,