Sad and a little guilty

Nurses New Nurse

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I took care of a patient this week who was driving me batty. He was vented and very impulsive. He was constantly scooting down in bed and eventually pulled his NG out. I had many things that I needed to get done that night, like his bath, dressing and tubing changes and of course all this took extra long as he was moving around so much. I was very frustruated all night...not to mention impatient with him. I found out yesterday that he passed away. I feel very guilty about how impatient I was with him and have been going over in my mind that whole night...did I miss something? I am still on orientation, so my preceptor was with me...but I still worry. They believe it may have been a PE, but not sure...family declined an autopsy. (He had many many health issues). I was wondering if his restlessness was due to a PE...did I miss a big clue?? The rest of his assessment was wnl. Sorry, just rambling...and venting. Working with him that night reminded me that I do not have endless patience. :(

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Specializes in Med-Surg, LTC, Rehabiliation Nursing.

Okay, so maybe you could have been more patients. But,,,,, just remember, we are not infallible, we cant know everything. Maybe his restlessness was a sign of PE. But if that was the only sign, well, how many other things is restlessness a sign of? If you did a good assessment on your patients and did not pick up anything, than you did the best you could. Maybe a veteran nurse could have picked up something us new nurses might have missed. Maybe not. We will have to wait and see what they say. Just forgive yourself, and know that we are only human also. and read up on PE's. I know I am going to now. Feel better.

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Specializes in Clinical exp in OB, psy, med-surg, peds.

Hope everything work out well for you

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Whenever a paitent dies we always question ourselves "is there something I missed???". That's normal.

Don't feel guilty about feeling impatient. I've cared for many a patient just like that and they would make Mother Theresa lose her religion.

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Specializes in Palliative Care, NICU/NNP.

I work palliative care and he may have been experiencing terminal restlessness. My manager also says if a patient is restless check for the need to pee, poop or is in pain.

I think you're suffering from being human!

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Thank you all for your support, it is really appreciated. I am feeling better, but it still stays with me. I had a patient this week who was trying to climb out of bed and pulling at tubes too...I was able to be more patient with him.

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i learned a lot from the day to day care

this is a learning experience big time next you can't figure out what is going on check out obvious ones listed, poop, pee, pain...this death probably couldn't be prevented but you are a better nurse for having gone down this road

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