Sorry this is long:
Well I was here in the Fall of 2005 seeking advice. I was ready to quit in my last semester of nursing school
, ICU was kicking my glutes. Thanks to all who responded. I trekked through it (with prayer and God of course), did my 60 page careplan and graduated in December 2005.
I was looking into Peds in a local hospital but for some reason I branched off and ended up working in an ER for a county hospital. I think I was slightly nervous because I was almost going to be on my own soon and the ER was going to offer classes and extra training. On the day with no classes, we were sent to the floor to work with other nurses...Thus I went to the ER.
Now with present day (8 months later, I've been on my present team with my preceptor for about 4 weeks), I'm scared out of my wits at times and I'm not sure why. They put me in a Trauma room for a few weeks (WOW!!!!) and they paired me up with a GREAT preceptor. My preceptor thought I was doing fine and didn't know of my anxiety. I let my charge know that...yikes can I move? Trauma was overwhelming and I was working nights. While in trauma I would get frazzled of course, before work I would want to throw up and the anxiety would kick in. I would be restless before I had to get up to get ready for work. She moved me to the urgent care part of the ER, a bit slower paced but I would be able to prioritize and get the skills back up, critical thinking too. I'd hoped the mental and emotional issues would subside but they didn't. I find myself getting nervous and nauseated before I have to go to work..I feel like this even on the days that I'm off. I think my fear is that if the pt were to take a different turn...would I know what to do?
The charge says that she has only heard good things about me, my preceptor thinks I'll make a good nurse and I had a resident tell me I was a good nurse...but then the other emotional issues and anxiety would kick in. I am almost ready for a whole new career or a new place (I have been looking). There are times when I'm like...yes..go to work, you build confidence and learning with experience and I'm fine, but it disappears and the anxiety cycle begins again..I then wonder if I'm meant to be a nurse.
I don't go back to work until this Friday night, but even as I write this...nervousness resides...
..Am I odd? Maybe it's not my niche??
Any feed back would be...WONDERFUL!!