new nurse and im already needing time off(long) sorry

[NurseNicoleRN]

hi im a new nurse ive been off orientation for about a month.... things have been good a few mistakes here and there but nothing major since ive been on my own.....im actually starting to get the hang of it and then bam it happened......i went to my annual gyn and told the doctor i felt a little lump but it wasnt as big as a previous lump i had felt on my left which actually turned out to be a tumor but luckily it was benign and i had surgery to remove that one in july. i really wasnt worried about this it felt much smaller and was closer to my rib than my breast.....the doctor got very serious said she was concerned and wanted an ultrasound right away....i was supposed to work mon night but she got me in for an appt that night to have the U/S i had to call out for the 1st time but i was now as nervous as she was so my concern was on me rather than work......i wasnt scheduled to go back to work until wed night and i really didnt expect results til fri since i got the U/S late on monday night but sure enogh at 11 am wed i got the call its a tumor and considering my history it more than likely benign but its worrysome due to shape and its rate of growth since noone caught it and i have had multiple breast exams by both my surgeon, primary, and gyn since july she wants me to go to the surgeon asap and she made an appt for me to see him later that day....the surgeon already knows me since he did my prior breast surgery. So i call my work i want to give them a heads up my manager seemed very nice i told her there was a possibility i would be calling out she said she understood and told me to get notes so that i can collect from the state whie im out i told her i need to have test done and she the surgeon and break the news to my family that i need surgery again and theres still a chance for cancer. I wound up calling out on wed to see the surgeion and have some blood drawn and calling out thurs(thanksgiving) because i was a wreck and didnt know how to tell my family and make them worry about me again. i called my manager and let her know and left her a message telling her to call me if there is any problem, she didnt. im going to have surgery on dec 9th and ill be out till the 26th with a possibility of an additional week depending on my healing progress at my post op check up....i have to tell her on monday and im nervouse......i missed thanksgiving and im supposed to work christmas eve im going to miss them i told my doc i need to be back for new years day he says i should be ok but still i feel soo bad im afraid she going to be mad that im needing time off fresh off orientation and especially around xmas.....i actually wanted to work the holidays for the extra money....id rather work than have surgery again....im so nervouse to tell her i dont want her to be mad or dissapointed.....im also nervouse about money im not sure how this short term disability works but i cant not have a paycheck and im worried no that i will have that happen all this happened so fast and now im afraid to go abck to work any advice

[NurseNicoleRN]

thanks i will! Im back in work tonight, tom, and fri, then i have 3 days off and work tues, wed night and then i have surgery next fri to remove the tumor and surrounding tissue and ill be out until the 27th .....possibly til the 1st we'll see ....right now im just focused on working my last 5days and then ill worry about the surgery and getting better i still have work to do ) thanks for your support

[NurseNicoleRN]

hey well if it couldnt get any worse it did i got pharyngititis and laryngitis from someone and now i can barely talk thank god for typing ) but if im not better by thursday we will have to rescgedule my surgery!!! on top of it i was suppossed to work tonight and tom. and i was actually looking forward to it last week i worked 3 in a row and the girls and i had such a fun time we were soo goofy but we got our work done too....my surgeon said he'd rather me not work and just rest at home in bed , drinlk fluids yada yada ya u know the schpeel. i feel like such a loser calling my manager and telling her i need my last 2 days off and there is still a posobility that they will reschedule the surgery!!! which means more time off!!! ughhh......ne way i needed to vent thank you allnurses id go crazy with out you